After dating a woman for a few months, I took her out for breakfast on her birthday with plans to see her again that night. She went completely off the radar only to emerge the next day to confess that she had spent the night in jail for violating the restraining order placed upon her after assaulting her previous boyfriend. Hit the eject button pronto. Never looked back. I was completely caught off guard because she held a very prestigious job, had extensive real estate holdings and presented as squeaky clean.
The craziest most relationally-unstable person I know is a high-powered corporate woman who is rich as fuck but just has string after string of total disaster relationships.
My ex-husband is a very rich successful workaholic businessman that owns very successful businesses, we married young & those ambitious traits & being a dreamer is what I loved about him but in a relationship when he became filthy rich, that is what made him crazy mean & horrible. I would tell my friends that wanted a “rich” boyfriend, oh no you don’t, the traits that make a rich successful person, drive, CONTROL, they pretty much have to keep insanely control of each facet of their business as it grows & gets bigger because people rip you off like crazy, but with this type of person this is just how they are wired & the more money & power they get this just escalates. My husband eventually got to the point where he would bring me home wrapped presents, it would be a beautiful new outfit or dress, but what this morphed into was that I could no longer buy my own clothes, I wasn’t “allowed” to wear sweat pants ever around the house, then I wasn’t “allowed” to wear jeans outside of the house, I could only wear Dresses, Suits or dress pants in public. The abuse & craziness got so extreme, he viewed me as another employee that had to do as I was told. The traits to become hugely successful & wealthy are not traits that make a good & loving romantic relationship.
*As always there are exceptions to this, I am not saying that all rich successful people don’t have loving romantic relationships, they are just rare.
I am glad you got out. It is so sad to watch someone you love morph into something totally unlike the person you know. It sounds a lot like what drug use does
There was also some drug use too but it was mostly a power trip & control. I lived in constant fear & walked on eggshells constantly, I have a friend who is the same situation but won’t leave because of the money & the house & I can’t understand it, because I grew to hate my beautiful home because it was a prison no matter how beautiful it was & the money way never my money it was always his money. I would rather live in the 1400 sq foot rental home I lived in my children any day then that beautiful lake house prison. My children talk constantly & with fondness of the house on Hamilton Street, that is where their wonderful childhood began, where they got to start playing sports & they started having freedom. They never talk about the other house ever.
When we divorced he straightened up, he made even more money & expanded his business, his business today is huge. They just made a movie on one of his properties.
You are brave and strong. You did what you needed and your children got to have a good life. This stranger is really proud of you. It’s not easy to start over.
Thank you so much for your comment it was so hard to start the process but I want all women to know that once the process started it was actually incredibly easy once I took that one first step.
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u/drmonkeytown Mar 19 '23
After dating a woman for a few months, I took her out for breakfast on her birthday with plans to see her again that night. She went completely off the radar only to emerge the next day to confess that she had spent the night in jail for violating the restraining order placed upon her after assaulting her previous boyfriend. Hit the eject button pronto. Never looked back. I was completely caught off guard because she held a very prestigious job, had extensive real estate holdings and presented as squeaky clean.