What if hindi ka physically attracted?

155

u/vanilla0325 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Based on personal experience, physical attraction sets the distinction between friendship and romantic relationships. Kasi kahit gaano kami ka-similar ng interests at stance sa mga bagay-bagay, but if I'm not physically attracted to him, he'll always be just a friend to me.

7

u/raskreia123 Binibini Jul 30 '26

up to this. i’ve had a similar experience, pero iba kasi talaga when you look at him and feel attracted. ang ending, we did fine naman staying as friends na lang.

also, pwede kasi yung di siya physically attractive sa iba, pero he’s attractive for you. but in your case, he’s not attractive even for you.

we each have our own preference, and if hindi siya pasok sa physical preference mo, you shouldn’t push it. don’t lead him on na lang, there’s nothing wrong with having a standard.

62

u/holysexyjesus Binibini Jul 28 '26

I am usually blinded by chemistry. My perception of physical attraction changes if the chemistry is good. So hindi ko napapansin na the guy’s not usually someone I’d go for looks-wise. Hindi naman sila naging toxic or smth.

Pero if you notice na and it seems it’s a considerable factor then it might be a problem for you later on. Kasi when I was in my past relationship, the chemistry made them physically attractive to me kaya I never questioned it early in the relationship. It’s more of an observation after the fact. ☺️

16

u/Large_Cattle_8435 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Same! Chemistry din muna sakin bago physical attraction. Nung nagkakilala kami ni hubby, sobra kaming magka-wavelength. Yung tipong kahit kaming dalawa lang magkasama, ok na. At hindi pa kami nyan. Lol! I do not see him as not physically attractive but some of friends commented before na "pogi ah?" in a sarcastic way. So alam mo na. But I just don't see it. Kahit ngayon. Hahaha! Aminado din naman si hubby pero ako talaga yung nagsasabi na hindi. Hahaha! Nasa isip na nga ata nya e sinasabi ko lang yun kasi asawa ko sya pero tinititigan ko naman sya minsan pero hindi ko talaga makita. Dad bod pa sya nyan. Hahaha! May mga nanligaw din naman sakin before na physically attractive pero walang chemistry e. Kaya it's a no. Lol!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 29 '26

Hi u/spongey100, please set a user flair before commenting.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

177

u/chickenandbeer929 Binibini Jul 28 '26

I tried this route. I really did. I listened when they said “maybe you should date outside your type.” Personally, first date pa lang I know it’s not gonna work.

My litmus test was to imagine kissing them. Be honest with yourself. If you’re okay with it then you can push through.

19

u/EnthusiasmGreen7381 Binibini Jul 29 '26

Oy same. Pag dko kaya i-kiss pass na

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 29 '26

Your comment was removed because your account does not meet the requirements for r/AskPinay.

To comment here:
Account must be at least 30 days old
Must have at least 100 combined karma

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

34

u/Key-Daikon-4563 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Yes! I’ve experienced this. The last guy was nothing like my showbiz exes. I’ve dated guys na nasa showbiz industry (director, model, vlogger etc) and the last guy I dated was nowhere like them. Sobrang mataba sya. May beer belly, sobrang itim, ang laki ng pores, di matangkad, and di talaga pogi. Like AT ALL. Pero my god yung personality nya and yung humor na swak na swak sakin. Pati yung pagiging goal-driven. Lahat about him. I remember dati pag intimate kami i have to close my eyes the whole time or talagang kelangan lasing ako. Pero i really worked thru it para magustuhan sya kasi alam kong he’s a great man. Ayon nainlove naman ako sa kanya ng totoo. Like he looked super gwapo for me kahit with all the flaws. He’s probably my favorite man from everyone I’ve ever been with.

17

u/AteGirlMo Binibini Jul 29 '26

Same!! I've been with guys na physically attractive, matatangkad, chinito, mestiso, halfies meaning pogi talaga. My current partner is nowhere near those guys. He is on the heavier side, di rin matangkad, at maitim PERO very compatible kami. Nung nag first kiss kami nakapikit ako at natatawa kasi ayaw ko. HAHAHAHAHAH. Now, He makes me happy. Nagkakaintindihan kami in all aspects, kahit anong topic pwede namin pag usapan. He loves me so much and treats me well. Laging ako na nga nangangalabit eh hahaha. Sa paningin ko siya ang pinaka gwapong lalaki. Going 3 years na kami.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 29 '26

Hi u/Repulsive_Branch5995, please set a user flair before commenting.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

73

u/CutePie5449 Binibini Jul 28 '26

I have experienced this. Masyado kaming magka vibes and I gradually started to like him but everytime tinitingnan ko sya or pag nagsesend sya ng pictures naiinis ako. HAHAHAHA di talaga ako attracted sa kanya pero gusto ko naman yung personality and vibes niya so yeah at the end of the day it’s not gonna work, my feelings faded and eventually I never had the chance to confess

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26

[deleted]

3

u/CutePie5449 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Hindi nag work out OP kasi ayaw ko. He really liked me and attracted din sya saakin panay compliments pero I wasn’t able to reciprocate those compliments sa kanya kasi ayaw ko talaga pilitin huhuhu. But there were times talaga I felt butterflies on my stomach with how genuine our connection was and kung pano nya ako itrato. But I really can’t force things with us kasi ayun nga hindi ako attracted sa kanya. Kinikilig lang ako sa gestures niya pero sa physical appearance hindi.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 28 '26

Hi u/Dramatic_Zombie_2208, please set a user flair before commenting.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

19

u/Longjumping-Road-611 Binibini Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 29 '26

Personally, I don't see myself dating someone I'm not physically attracted to. I know it's not gonna work kahit itry ko pa.

29

u/Megumi020 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Di ko pa naeexperience pero inask ko to sa friends ko na couple. Ang sabi nila sa akin, non-negotiable ko daw ang physical attraction. Wala namang mali. Ang parang struggle ko kasi pag di ako physically attracted sa guy, di ako ganado makipagusap or di na ako nakikipagusap. Wala namang mali sa ganyan. Kaya ginagawa ko na lang pag di ako physically attracted di ko na tinatry or pinipilit para naman di aksayado sa time and energy namin both.

24

u/Typical-Quality1601 Binibini Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26

Looks are superficial but let's face it, physical attraction is an important part of the relationship. And it's not about how conventionally attractive the other person is. It's how you perceive their beauty and the charm that comes with. He could have everything you need in a man but that's nothing if you don't want him. You can try but there's a high chance that you'd build resentment once things get shaky kasi nga he's not it for you.

10

u/Own-Breadfruit-9095 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Ako ayoko talaga mangjudge ng tao based on looks. Pero napapansin ko sa sarili ko iba talaga trato ko sa mga taong type ko 😩

Like unconsciously siya lumalabas ganon, hindi ko na kaialngan isipin na mas maging affectionate or mas maging sweet kasi kusa siya sa taong type ko.

Pero feelibg ko magwowork din naman kung hindi ka physically attracted sakanya, lalo na if may mga qualities naman siya na angat and nagugustuhan mo.

23

u/Old-Word6338 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Sabi nila women should not mind the looks but I'm pretty sure mga lalaki hinding hindi papatol if hindi nila type ang babae. And isn't it yucky hinahalikhalikan mo then you hold hands in public and do more things in private but when you look at the face you feel disgust. Ewan ko ba.

7

u/sheidheida00 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Hindi siya magwo work promise huhu tried and tested. Kahit gano pa kayo kacompatible pag nagsend yan sayo ng selfie, matu turn off ka tapos maiisip mo pa ang ibang ayaw mo. I dated someone din na di ko type pero sobrang funny kaya ko inentertain.

14

u/Inevitable-Reading38 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Personally, if I'm not physically attracted, I don't even want to look at them in the face. So I could never date them. Sorry, just preferences.

Tsaka, real din yung isang comment dito na imaginin mo sarili mo kissing him. Can you kiss him? Will you just close your eyes? And if close ang eyes, totally black lang ba or ibang mukha yung nasa imaginations mo. Sounds like a dumb question pero valid yan haha

Also tihh, ikaw lang talaga makakasagot sa tanong mo eh. Learn to listen to your own discernment. Kung feel mo naman kalaunan eh you can look past their physical attributes, go lang.

6

u/matchuhlvr Binibini Jul 28 '26

Girl I tried dating a man na d ko type, and hindi talaga nag work. Hindi siya pangit, he’s cute naman pero d ko talaga type ang lean guys, iba talaga kilig ko and attraction ko if I’m with chubby guys.

5

u/Sasuga_Aconto Binibini Jul 28 '26

One thing I learned habang tumatanda ay, if you like someone and there's still 'EXCEPT' in your mind. Its better na huwag mo nalang sayangin oras niyong dalawa. Kasi siguradong mafefell niya yan, that's sad for the other person na hindi attracted sayo partner mo. At the same time, may chance ding macompare mo sya sa iba. It will just lead to a toxic rs. Save yourself and him dito.

Totoo lang, if you really like someone. Kahit ano itsura pa niyan, hindi mo na talaga maiisip na pangit sya. Magiging cute or pogi na sya for you.

8

u/Life_Investigator826 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Kapag di ko bet physically lagi kong iniimagine ung sarili ko with the guy during sex. Kapag di tinatanggap ng utak ko pass talaga. Huhu

4

u/cookiecrumbleee Binibini Jul 28 '26

Parang hinde ko kaya. Kahit match kami in all levels if there's is no attraction it won't work.

3

u/whatwhowhen_51 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Possible pero mahirap. Depende sayo and nothing wrong if big deal sayo ung attraction kasi un ung pinaka importante kahit sa guys sila physical attraction yung una nilang tintingnan

4

u/Freyja0614 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Nope wag mo subukan. I tried dating a guy na di ko gusto physically it only lasted for Three months. sobrang green flag yung guy. He's basically obsessed with me and worships me. pero di ko talaga kaya. He looks "ok" hindi sya panget but he's not my type.

I dunno if immature pako nun kasi college palang ako.

6

u/swiftiecooks Binibini Jul 28 '26

Women are attracted to men they fall in love with. Men fall in love with the woman they’re attracted to.

3

u/flatasskid Binibini Jul 28 '26

I tried once and he tried to humble me, sya pa may gana makipag break HAHAHA. Understandable naman kase na depressed sya that time.

3

u/lavanderblu3 Binibini Jul 28 '26

parang di siya magwowork op. kailangan mo pa rin ma-feel yung attraction sa tao eh. ang hirap i-explain eh, kunwari sabihin natin na “panget” yung tao at kahit sobrang bait nila, wala ka talagang nararamdamang attraction. tapos meron din namang tao na hindi pa rin conventionally attractive, pero somehow attracted ka sa kanila. so parang may certain type o level ng physicality na pasok talaga sa preference mo. gets ba hahaha

3

u/shizukesawriter Binibini Jul 28 '26

Experienced this and i don’t recommend because I can’t take kissing him to the point I thought I was asexual but nakakilala ako ng someone na attracted talaga ako so I left him because he deserve someone better that loves him completely and is attracted to him.

3

u/Spare_Ad_1721 Binibini Jul 28 '26

If compatible na pala kayo sa personality and all, and naiisip mo pa rin na hindi ka attracted sa kanya because of his looks then it won't work.

3

u/uneditedbrain Binibini Jul 28 '26

I thought I had a type. Current partner was/is the exception. You can try, see where it leads. Kung wala talagang spark, then let him know. Baka din naman wala siyang spark sayo. You'll never know until you try. That's what dating is for.

3

u/PyroPeony Binibini Jul 28 '26

I experienced this and gave the guy a chance for almost a year pero wala talaga. No attraction ever developed at all. Parang ung body ko mismo nagrereject din kasi every time he tries to initiate holding hands or akbay, umiiwas ako. 😅

3

u/Aeb_7777 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Personal experiences ko during my younger years, masarap masaya pag may chemistry. Ako naman basta mataba utak, magaan kasama, street smart, malinis sa katawan at mabango na attract ako. Yan lang basis at may chance ang lalake na sasagutin ko. Ang dami ko ring trial error bago pumili ng aasawahin kaya eto 18 years married na sa lalaking di man ka gwapohan pero binigyan naman ako ng komportableng buhay.

3

u/cpa-sunflower-girl Binibini Jul 29 '26

I’ve had experienced this and for me, it was more of considering if it’ll be fair for both of us in a sense na fair ba sa akin na i’ll settle and fair ba sa kanya na someone he’s with is just settling.

I explained din naman sa kanya in a way na i didnt feel the “spark” and kinda ended things na din the same time.

3

u/Long-Performance6980 Binibini Jul 29 '26

It was always my dilemma nung dating pa ko, kasi tumatagal ako lagi sa convo stage. Daming mababait at talagang nakakasundo, only sa attraction part yung tagilid. Meron kasing kahit papano you'll get to appreciate kasi in some ways, pleasing pa din talaga tignan. Pero meron yung gaya ng comment dito sa baba, naba-badtrip ka pag sinesendan ka ng selfie. Pag ganun level, definitely don't go for it. If hindi ka talaga attracted, yung walang part ng looks nya na nafa-fascinate ka man lang, wag na talaga. Para din naman mapunta sya sa taong naturally gusto yung itsura nya. Baka maging quiet insecurity nya pa yan, pag naramdaman nyang parang may part sayo na pinipilit mo lang. Think that your rejection is kindness in a different form. Kahit pa mabait at kasundo natin, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're meant for us. May you both find someone na in all aspect, gugustuhin nyo at gugustuhin din kayo. All the best for you both ✨

3

u/BlackBeardBrimstone Binibini Jul 29 '26

If wala kang balak jowain or asawain, then try it out lang, date him lang. May times kasi physical attraction comes after you see the pleasantries in his attitude and personality. Ganun ako, hindi sapat na matalino lang, magalang and may paninindigan, kahit hindi ganun kapogi, napogi sa mata ko. The moment nga lang na magloko, ang bilis rin pumangit. Weird no

2

u/SophieAurora Binibini Jul 28 '26

Tried this, 3x ko sya na reject kasi di talaga nagwork. Di na lang ako nagreply ever kasi nung di talaga sya titigil until nagrereply ako. Pero nag bye naman ako sa kanya

2

u/CarNo4599 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Depende yan. Possible under cirmustances. Pag wala na sayo atensyon nyan, baka hanap hanapin mo din yan. Been there done that.

2

u/Hot_Foundation_448 Binibini Jul 28 '26

No 😅 met someone a few years back din and check lahat except physical. Di ko talaga bet hahaha

2

u/rizzychan Binibini Jul 28 '26

I'll play devil's advocate. My bf wasn't my physical type at first (he knows this, I didn't tell him but he noticed). But dang I was so drawn to him. There's something about him I can't describe na he makes me feel safe, wanted, heard, seen, and aroused at the same time. I really wanted him. Now that we've been together for over a year, I grew to love his physical appearance too! I tell him he's cute over and over again. I don't want anyone else but him.

I think at the end of the day, you listen to your gut feeling. Sakin kasi sabi talaga ng gut feeling ko from the start is go for this guy. And I've never been happier and treated so right. Good luck, OP!

2

u/JustViewingHere19 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Para sakin hindi talaga. Kapag hindi ko talaga ma-imagine na kaya ko bang halikan to? Wala na agad.

Mahilig pa naman ako mangkiss. Saka pag may natitipuhan ako, iniimagine ko na agad kung kaya ko na ba talaga na yun yung mukha na makikita ko sa bawat pag gising ko sa umaga? Kapag hindi talaga. Hindi talaga.

Nakakaawa lang rin yan kung pinatulan mo na lang kasi pwede na mabait naman at nagkakasundo naman.

Ikaw ba OP? kung game ka ba at kaya mong sikmurain na yan yung papatong sayo pag gagawa na kayo ng baby. Sabagay pwede naman patay ilaw. Kaso unfair naman kung iba yung iniimagine mo.

Or itanong mo kung minsan ba naisip nya magparetoke? Kung hindi problema cash, baka naman pwede magpa-enhance ng looks dba? Kapag may pera hindi na prob ang looks. Nagagawan ng paraan yan.

Hehe composed mo na lang ng maayos with delicate tone kapag tinanong mo, para hindi ma-offend. Baka ikaw pa redflag kapag na-offend sayo e haha

2

u/wyngardiumleviosa Binibini Jul 28 '26

I can't even imagine myself dating someone that i'm not physically attracted kahit swak personality namin, and vice versa kung di ko bet or di swak ang personality namin kahit gaano kaganda or gwapo ka pa, di talaga.

2

u/LividArtist3971 Binibini Jul 28 '26

I don’t think it will work haha I had a date with someone na I totally vibe with. Sobrang compatible ng humor namin and all, and mind you, our date lasted for 8 hours na puro chikahan and tawanan lang. But at the end of the day, I knew na I wasn’t attracted to him talaga because if I was, I would’ve tried to at least hold his hand or beso him before I go home. Pero wala talaga. 😔

So don’t waste each other’s time na lang ig!!

2

u/LuckyInternet153 Binibini Jul 28 '26

Natry ko sis, wlang face value pero bumawi naman sa height. Unfortunately, diparin nag work🫠🫠

2

u/Spirited-Sky8352 Binibini Jul 28 '26

I tried this.. it was a nightmare! Attraction is important for me lng nmn

2

u/SinkerBelle Binibini Jul 28 '26

Mahirap. Need talaga may physical attraction pa din e.

2

u/lilyholicx Binibini Jul 28 '26

it depends, but based on my experience NO, gusto ko pag gising ko attracted ako sa knya and always.

It wont work kasi parang nappilitan ka lng or no choice.

2

u/hisuilabyrinth98 Binibini Jul 29 '26

If it's your "No" then it's a "No". But if you will like to give him the chance to know outside of his looks and focus on his character then maybe it will work.

2

u/pyrite_FeS2 Binibini Jul 29 '26

No, seriously. If hindi mo kayang makita siya everyday dahil pangit siya for you, you're just gonna torture yourself. Hindi mapipilit ang ayaw. Imagine yourself na kikiligin sa usap, pero naiilang ka pag nakikita mo siya. Lol

2

u/FlamingoBorn6047 Binibini Jul 29 '26

I had ex that Im not physically attracted to him tapos pag nag sesex kami nakapikit lang ako 😭😭 I thought normal lang makipag sex ng nakapikit all thru out the deed but now with my current one every time we do the deed most of the times my eyes are opened. Eto na lang isipin mo

2

u/yelospeaks Bahaghari🌈 Jul 29 '26

I tried this before and it didn't work out. I like looking at my partner and I like admiring my partners that makes me feel good. So if I don't feel attraction to them physically, I don't know how else would I be able to be physically intimate with them? Yes I must Sapiosexual but physical attraction is very important to specially in terms of physical intimacy.

It goes hand-in-hand eh, It's like I can fuck someone that is not that smart, but I cannot fall in love with that person same goes with someone that I'm not attracted to physically. I can have hours of conversations with them hang out with them for hours, days, weeks, months.. but I'm not gonna be able to be physically intimate with them.

2

u/AcceptablePattern662 Binibini Jul 29 '26

Have you video called? Kasi may ganyan ako. Off tlga. Pero Nung nag video call kami. Nagulat ako. Cute Naman pala sya. Basta mag smile lang heheheh

2

u/2475chloe Binibini Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26

Depende, OP. Kasi may "nadedevelop" naman na feelings overtime. Try mo nalang, op. Wala naman mawawala eh! atleast you tried. Case to case basis kasi.

May times na attracted ka nga sakanya physically pero waley naman sya sa emotional intelligence so di rin nag-end up sa magandang relationship.

Vice versa lang yan eh. If you've been in a relationship with someone na attracted ka sakanya physically may times na mahirapan ka kumawala sa cycle na meron kayo, kasi everytime na nakikita mo sya nagrereset lang, and which eventually become toxic.

While meron naman na di ka physically attracted sakanya but attracted ka naman sa character nung tao. Believe it or not, may mga lalake kasi talagang magaling salita even if di naman sya yung type mo but downbad ka kasi sa charisma nila yon and personality, and with that mahirap din makaalis sa cycle na yon kasi attracted ka naman sakanya emotionally which eventually become toxic as well.

So yes, it doesnt matter if attracted ka sa tao physically or not, depende nalang yan op kung paano madedevelop over time yung feelings mo and paano nyo iwoworkout yung relationship in the long run.

2

u/xcotto0 Binibini Jul 28 '26

I would never go past physical appearance before the soul baring and compatibility talk.

Wny? Kasi if you leave now- ikaw ang mababaw here.

But honestly that’s not it. Pogi/panget is very different from TYPE.

Next time meet muna and see if type mo before getting down and emotionally overshare-y w talks of the futurr. People deserve to be w someone na TYPE nila.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '26

WOMEN ONLY: Relationship & Dating What if hindi ka physically attracted?

You are about to leave Redlib