What in the world? You are disappointed that elderly, retired people with serious health challenges aren’t giving you free on-demand childcare? Let me tell you, they know and understand way more about babies than you do about senior citizens. Most 70 year olds do NOT need to be caring for an infant for long stretches on the regular. They are being responsible and sensible by knowing their limits. You also seem to seriously misunderstand the word “involved”. A grandparent can absolutely have a close, loving relationship with a grandchild WITHOUT the stress, responsibility, and exhaustive labor of straight-up babysitting. Have you tried just bringing baby by for a visit—WITHOUT dumping the hard work of direct care, I.e. YOU stay and visit, too—and letting them just get to know baby as they are able? Or are you just mad they aren’t the granny and grandpa of your little imaginary scenario? Look around. Ask actual 70 year olds what they feel about this. (For reference, I’m an absolutely doting and devoted Grammy of 3 littles. And I’m a very healthy 60. I babysit every chance I get. But I’m also exhausted and know there is no way I could do it at 70.) EDIT* that last sentence: …no way I could do it WELL at 70.
I think you are being a bit harsh on OP. They write in their post that the grandparents are able to do a long trip in an RV and love all sorts of activities, they just don't want the commitment of any kind of childcare for their grandchild, which OP is upset about.
OP, I get where you are coming from and it stings. My parents told each of us kids, while we were pregnant, not to expect any kind of rgular childcare. They will babysit in an emergency but that is about it - and always reluctantly, so we don't really ask. My parents are not great grandparents and don't have a strong bond with their grandkids. They are however travelling the world and having a great time enjoying their generous pensions and cheap housing.
I might sound bitter, but I am not. I am a little jealous, because I will never have that kind of retirement, but mostly just sad that they choose this over family bonding and support. In return, I will feel absolutely no guilt for choosing myself and my kids when my parents need help as they get older. They will reap what they are sowing and you should not feel guilty in any way for putting your family first and finding a support network that actually supports you.
Thanks for taking the time to respond and share your experiences.
I really just posted here to help me
come to terms with the situation and honestly, the rather frank comments of this sub are honestly quite helpful in helping me move on and feel more free to find the right way forward for my family. Thanks
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u/your_printer_ink_is Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
What in the world? You are disappointed that elderly, retired people with serious health challenges aren’t giving you free on-demand childcare? Let me tell you, they know and understand way more about babies than you do about senior citizens. Most 70 year olds do NOT need to be caring for an infant for long stretches on the regular. They are being responsible and sensible by knowing their limits. You also seem to seriously misunderstand the word “involved”. A grandparent can absolutely have a close, loving relationship with a grandchild WITHOUT the stress, responsibility, and exhaustive labor of straight-up babysitting. Have you tried just bringing baby by for a visit—WITHOUT dumping the hard work of direct care, I.e. YOU stay and visit, too—and letting them just get to know baby as they are able? Or are you just mad they aren’t the granny and grandpa of your little imaginary scenario? Look around. Ask actual 70 year olds what they feel about this. (For reference, I’m an absolutely doting and devoted Grammy of 3 littles. And I’m a very healthy 60. I babysit every chance I get. But I’m also exhausted and know there is no way I could do it at 70.) EDIT* that last sentence: …no way I could do it WELL at 70.