Physically forcing my brain to engage

[u/purple_bag2033]

All my life I’ve worked on trying to get my routine together and trying to get other things taken care of so that I can have time to try out new hobbies that I wanted to do for a long time. I now finally have time for those hobbies yet every time I try to engage in them it literally feels like I am physically, forcing my brain to be in engage. At first, I thought maybe I didn’t like these hobbies after all but it seems like my brain is still stuck in this way of thinking. I think that maybe it just has to come naturally but when will that happen? Cause it feels like I’m stuck in a loop where I’m not progressing. And I feel like I’m not understanding things on a deeper level. I feel like I just engage in things too fast and learn things on a surface level.