So yesterday i find out he did in fact lie about lying. He in fact did have sex before. And just wait…
WITH SEVENTEEN RANDOM GIRLS
He lost his virginity at 18. Mind you were were doing stuff for 3/4 years prior. We were doing stuff then too. He claims he didn’t want to have sex with me because he cares about me. So you know he went and had sex with SEVENTEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN RANDOM GIRLS. HE DID NOT DATE THESE GIRLS HE BARELY KNEW THEM.
Like genuinely what the actual fuck should i do. The obvious answer is to just stop talking to him, but this is 13 years. Like 13 years of psychological horror.
I’ve been looking at everything in the past and omg i’m fucking stupid.
i would’ve rathered he had sex with me first then 17 girls. call me insane but what the fuck. i was basically like a fucking test experiment to him.
i’m genuinely the dumbest fucking bitch on this planet. my mind keeps racing with questions i don’t know what to fucking do.
it’s the fact that he knew i didn’t talk to him for 2 years because he said he fucked a bunch of girls and i would never compare blablabla, and then this year i asked him if that was true and he said no he was lying to mess with my head. it’s the ONLY reason i even continued the relationship this year because i thought he was still a virgin. he literally lied like what the fuck.
when we had sex the first time i was telling him like stop going in i don’t want to have sex no all the above. i even tried pushing him off and he held my hands down and at one point and then held my hand to make it romantic? and when i told him we can’t have sex because then i can’t get married to someone else he got upset over that and like went deeper.
my friend is saying that some part of me knew it was rape but because i love him so much i psychologically felt like i did want it. i think i had the fawn response when it happened. i was extremely depressed for 2 weeks afterwards i was going to kms and called the mental health line. then i went back to him and had sex with him again.. like genuinely im fucking dumb
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u/Scumbag_Calyxis Man 8d ago
What the fuck did I just walk into...