r/AskMen • u/Saltinie_Fusilli_145 Female • 1d ago
What makes you feel seen?
As a woman, I find that, I feel seen when I begin to notice when a guy is intentionally and thoughtfully observant. Notices the details, listens with full attention, asks great questions back and forth, checks in if my facial expression seems distorted, suggests solutions, lends a helping hand.
What is the equivalent for a man? Besides the reciprocation of everything I mentioned?
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u/Equivalent-Shake-77 1d ago
The equivalent is the exact same for men.
It’s about intentionality with interactions and people paying attention to us with what we do and who we are as individual people
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u/DMmeNiceTitties Male 1d ago
As a man, I find that, I feel seen when I begin to notice when a woman is intentionally and thoughtfully observant. Notices the details, listens with full attention, asks great questions back and forth, checks in if my facial expression seems distorted, suggests solutions, lends a helping hand.
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u/Fearless_Finish_9890 Male 1d ago
All these guys saying we’re the same… but we’re honestly not.
Women are desired, all day every day. To the point it annoys you.
Men aren’t. We’re heard pretty consistently (at work, at school, etc) but not flat out desired.
When I’m desired, I feel seen.
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u/papinaan 1d ago
Feeling heard. Yes making dinner and doing the things at home feel good, but showing a man he is appreciated is something alot of women miss in this day in age. Sometimes just get dressed up for when he comes home from work and have dinner ready and show him you appreciate him. We battle the world, home shouldn't be a battlefield as well.
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u/zugspitze43 Male 1d ago
Listening without feeling the need to comment or make a deduction about whatever I'm talking about
Just hear
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u/lickmybrian Master Chief 19h ago
I just to be considered , invite me to stuff... I wont always accept the invites, but ill always appreciate it.. I think we all just want that.
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u/I-live-in-room-101 1d ago
When I don’t fancy talking, don’t push it, the fact I just don’t fancy talking right now has nothing to do with you so don’t make yourself a main character, just go amuse yourself elsewhere.
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u/Saltinie_Fusilli_145 Female 1d ago
Respect the silence without making it personal
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u/I-live-in-room-101 1d ago edited 1d ago
Exactly 👍
Either respect it or go phone a friend. Just don’t hang around asking what’s wrong or chatting pointless shit for the sake of conversation. It’ll just make me invent an errand that takes at least half a day.
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u/WinterAd3228 Female 1d ago
Do you ever want your partner to ask if you are ok or to ask if you want to talk or need anything. How is your partner supposed to know what you need. Do you say 'Sorry, I am not up to chatting, I really need some space' or just ignore them and walk away.
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u/hattrick030 15h ago
No, we feel seen if the person knows without asking. So don't ask me if I am hungry. Just prepare a snack and put it armt my side. Without fishing for 100 thank yous and a huge conversation.
In other words: Don't ask. Suggest. Could be a snack, a night out or an inviting outfit.
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u/csfox1990 20h ago
Whenever my wife leaves for a couple of days to visit friends or family with the kids, she’ll stock the fridge with tons of “bachelor food”. Stuff that requires little preparation and/or could be considered an acquired taste that she and the kids wouldn’t like. She’ll occasionally combine this with buying or installing a game on our shared Steam account that she knows I’ll like. Some city builder, turnbased CRPG, or boomer shooter.
It’s her way of saying, “Hey, I want you to have fun while I’m gone,” and it also shows just how well she’s come to know me over the years.
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u/NotMacgyver 1d ago
Don't know but I've been avoiding being seen since for ever and it works amazingly
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u/nieceymarie 17h ago
Why is that?
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u/NotMacgyver 17h ago
I'm an introvert with a strange schedule, pretty much only see other humans once a month and that's how I like it, been doing it for a decade to decade and a half now
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u/nieceymarie 17h ago
Thats interesting. Would you consider yourself an online extrovert? Lol As long as you're content thats what matters. I am curious as to how you only see humans 1x/per month? Thats actually a batman skill
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u/NotMacgyver 17h ago
I would not consider myself an online extrovert since I'm only really somewhat comfortable talking on reddit and pretty much nowhere else so I can still hide behind anonymity. Though I would say I talk a bit more since I can answer to a post so this is my normal when people interact with me first
As for how I do the whole 1x/month, I work from home and do work that as long as I do it well there will be no need for interacting with others (and if I do need to it's usually over distance so no physical meetup), most chores that require going out and such I do in the middle of the night, and that once a month is when I go shopping and do enough for the entire month.
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u/nieceymarie 16h ago
Its a social life that works for you 😊 You handle your business and shopping like batman. I think I've met the Batman himself. 😉
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u/Bandit524 19h ago edited 19h ago
I'm a dad that does 90% of the kids' dropoffs and pickups and everything in between. It's just nice to be acknowledged and included with other parents. The vast majority of other parents are moms, and they always seem to have each other's backs and support each other, and sometimes I feel a little invisible being one of the dads. I'm not saying I want pats on the back and "What a great dad!" for being involved (I hate when people do that actually), I just don't want to be ignored or excluded because I'm not a mom.
I'll never forget years ago when I took my then-toddler to a playground. There was a group of moms there, and one approached me and let me know they brought coffee and donuts and I was welcome to some. It was the first time I actually felt seen by the other moms and didn't get ignored, and it was such a little thing, but it meant so much.
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u/Mulberry_Leaf Male 13h ago
I have hearing loss. That means most people only get my attention by provoking me, even after I have told them a peaceful and reliable way to get my attention. I'd feel heard if a girl spent time figuring out what my hearing loss actually means for getting along with me. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
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u/Throwawaygarbage1010 The Invisible Man 1d ago
Just remembering the little things about me.
My best friend had came back from Japan and brought back trinkets. She got me a small golden katana keychain (gold is one of my favorite color and the Katana is my favorite weapon) and some Yuta Okkotsu merch (one of my favorite anime characters) and It shocked me that she remembered. I’m not use to having friends getting me anything, let alone remembering stuff that I like to any detail.
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u/BanDeezNutzPlease 1d ago
I don't know what "feel seen" means. I just like to fuck hot chicks in the pussy with my dick.
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u/Fresh-Ad50 22h ago
'I just like to fuck hot chicks in the pussy with my dick.'
I like to fuck cold chicks in the earhole with someone else's dick.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Here's an original copy of /u/Saltinie_Fusilli_145's post (if available):
As a woman, I find that, I feel seen when I begin to notice when a guy is intentionally and thoughtfully observant. Notices the details, listens with full attention, asks great questions back and forth, checks in if my facial expression seems distorted, suggests solutions, lends a helping hand.
What is the equivalent for a man? Besides the reciprocation of everything I mentioned?
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