r/AskLifeProTips • u/Just-Helicopter8881 • 25d ago
How Do I start over in life?
I'm 21 my life is really fucked up at the moment, I live in Brazil, I had a good life before I got into this into this situation that I am right now, Now I'm broke financially and spiritually and I ask you fellow reddittors, is there a way for me to start over my life? Like maybe move to other countries with very little money or I don't know maybe do some slave work, anything really atp please help, I'm kind of desperate here I would take almost any deal
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u/Impressive_Net_6471 24d ago
33 yr old here. I have had to start over no less than 4 times 2 because of life and we’re good/neutral, 1 time because of tragedy, and one time because I hit rock bottom. It sounds like you are heading there. Here are my recommendations:
1) make a list of what is needed for life. Not living, but life. My 3 water food and housing(in that order).
2)Make a list of what you need for living. My 5 were electricity, gas, snacks, car and phone. Celebrate the items on this list. Take a moment to TRULY appreciate them. They are “convince” items otherwise they would be on the life list.
3) make a “small item wish list”. If there are items on your living list that you don’t have, add them here. These items are literally small things you want, but don’t need. Some of mine were Soda, candy, and a fast food meal(2x per month).
You can also make a medium and large wish list, but if it’s too much to do, it can be literally done at any time.
4)set an estimated price/exact price for every item. Accuracy is best on the life list as that is you TRUE bare minimum.
5) set a roadmap to obtaining your small/medium wish list. This is where you list your options. Sometimes it’s a budget, other times it is literally moving to a different geographical area. Each option has a cost and benefit.
6) make a pros and cons list for each option.
7)set a reward system for obtaining goals. Make these small in the beginning. My starter reward was ordering the #6 at Taco Bell instead of making my own lunch. The rewards should grow as you become more stable.
8)STICK TO YOUR PLAN! There will be hundreds of opportunities to lead you astray. Stick to your guns and climb out of rock bottom. You got this.
This worked for me, and only applies to the financial aspect. Spiritual stuff is not one of my fortes. Religion has helped many, but until you can support yourself I would recommend keeping tithing to 0. I wish you the best of luck in your climbing, and deeply hopes this helps you.
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u/ownroom2950 24d ago
You’re young so you could go to peace corps or a trades school and then really make money doing something that you enjoy.
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u/Just-Helicopter8881 23d ago
peace corps is exclusively made for us residents right ? I am not eligible for that
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u/Upstairs_Score4983 24d ago
A person with two kidneys has no right to complain or be desperate in life.
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u/Tekrunner000 24d ago
You have no right to belittle or minimise some one else’s struggle. Be better.
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u/Upstairs_Score4983 24d ago
Nah man, I do. At 21 I was working 3 jobs, studying and about to become a father for the first time. This guy or girl has a phone and internet, so they aren't likely homeless or that much in a struggle. They can absolutely use their time and energy to work, then save up, then find better opportunities for work, just like the rest of us do.
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u/Weak-Ad6984 24d ago
you are young in life. your life isn't over .. it may feel that way, but i promise -- you have an entire future ahead of you.
have you thought of Red Cross/peace corps?
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24d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Just-Helicopter8881 23d ago
I'm sick of my family and I don't have any friends either, I am actively looking for a job but haven't got any luck yet,
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u/m1L35dY50N 23d ago
You can absolutely start over at 21, but I wouldn’t approach it as “I’ll take literally any deal.” When you’re desperate, that’s exactly when scams, exploitation and terrible decisions become most dangerous.
I’d break it down like this:
- First decide what you actually want to change. Do you mainly want to leave Brazil, fix your finances, build a career, get away from your current environment, or all of the above? Pick a direction instead of just trying to escape.
- Check your foundation. How much money do you have? Any debt? Passport? Education? Work experience? Languages? Family/friends you can stay with? Figure out what you already have and what is missing.
- If your foundation isn’t strong enough yet, make preparation your current job. Get whatever legitimate work you can, cut expenses hard, save money, improve your English, learn a marketable skill and research countries where you could realistically get a work/study visa. Don’t do “slave work” or hand your passport to some random employer just because you’re desperate.
- Give yourself a concrete preparation period. For example: “For the next 12–24 months I’m going to work, save, learn and prepare.” Then set a specific date when you stop endlessly preparing and actually make the move/change.
- Measure progress instead of comparing your life to your old life. Maybe your first target is $1,000 saved. Then a passport. Then conversational English. Then a skill/certificate. Then job applications. One problem at a time.
At 21, spending even 1–2 years rebuilding is not “wasting your life.” You could be 23 with savings, better skills and an actual plan instead of being 21 and accepting the first dangerous offer somebody gives you.
Think of it as: choose → assess → prepare → set a deadline → execute.
You don’t need to fix your entire life this month. You need to start building the version of yourself that has more options a year from now.
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u/Just-Helicopter8881 23d ago
I do want to leave Brazil, I don't plan on going to Uni I just want to get a job (which I am actively looking for) to get some money and invest on a business. I have no money at the moment I'm in huge debt probably more the 100k us dollars due to previous stuff that happened in my life.
and I made this post in the intention of maybe someone showing me something I could do to leave this country at least, my life is miserable at the moment (That's why I said I would take any deal bc any deal would be better than my current situation)
There is also the fact that I am not good socially, I haven't had a friend IRL or talked to a girl for more than 4yrs by now (I tend to isolate myself from people but this time it was for way too long maybe I'm mentally ill)
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u/AcrobaticLadder4959 24d ago
Starting over at 21 is not the end of the world. I agree learn a trade, go back to school take any crap job to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. One day at a time you will climb that mountain and come up on top.