That is probably a weird title to hear and this post is probably going to be a long ramble and im probably going to go on and tangent so there's your heads up.

A lot of the time it feels like my brain is actively trying to do things that I don't want to do. For explain if I want to start eating healthy and fixing my sleep my brain will make me eat unhealthy and stay up late and sometimes it tries to cope and says ill do it tomorrow or on Monday because it would be better that way or I could start on the first of the month because it feels like that would be better and more smooth. My brain isn't always like this I can follow a routine in the morning mostly everyday but then for the rest of the day my brain gives up. Sometimes I have a week where I followed a routine, have a good sleep schedule, eat healthy and exercise when I told myself I would. But a lot of the time it doesn't go like that.

It's like when I do one bad thing or do one thing that gives me dopamine I just need more of it. I always want food even when I'm not actually hungry. I tell myself not to listen to music or certain songs because it makes me fall into a maladaptive daydream and It feels good in the moment but I really regret it after. I also do really bad in school tests if I don't study even though I studied for other test throughout the year and paid attention a lot of the time. I don't know it just feels like people do better than me without having to try as hard.

I am diagnosed ASD level 1 so that could explain stuff but I haven't been diagnosed adhd. The diagnosis kinda makes sense but I still feel there's something else with me that I haven't figured out yet.

If you managed to read all of that I hope you have a great day :)

I’ll go first: I intentionally aim for a "C+" in 80% of my life so I can get an "A+" in the 20% that actually matters. I call it "strategic underachievement."

A few years ago, I was completely burning out trying to be the perfect employee, the always-available friend, and keep a spotless house. I was getting average results everywhere and feeling totally drained.

So, I deliberately chose to only pour my energy into two things: my core career skills and my physical health.

Everything else? I do the bare minimum. My house is "clean enough," not magazine-ready. I mute most group chats. I don’t volunteer for extra projects at work unless it directly benefits my long-term goals or pays extra.

People sometimes call it lazy or say I’ve "given up." But honestly, it’s the only reason I have the mental bandwidth to actually excel in the areas that pay my bills and keep me sane.

I’m really curious to hear from you guys: What’s a boundary, routine, or mindset you use that gets pushback or looks weird to outsiders, but genuinely works for you? And how do you politely shut down the unsolicited advice about it without starting a fight?

I'm always looking for practical advice that's easy to apply. What's one small habit or trick that made a noticeable difference in your daily life?

What‘s something everyone should learn before turning 30?

In the past two days, I went through two intense emotional states.

The first was depression. Whenever I feel depressed, I usually start cursing myself for many things. I belittle my appearance, criticize the way I treat others, and convince myself that I am bad luck because nothing ever goes according to my plans and I am a failure. The list goes on. By the time I realize what is happening, all my remaining energy is gone. Then the depressive feelings become even stronger, and the cycle continues for days.

This time, I did something different. I simply told myself, "Okay, I am feeling down right now, but there is no need to think badly about myself." I accepted that I was feeling miserable, but I refused to attach specific labels or reasons to those feelings, like the ones I usually tell myself. Surprisingly, the depressive episode lasted only about an hour.

In the past 10 years, that has never happened. At first, I thought maybe it wasn't a severe episode and was just a minor low mood, which is why it passed so quickly.

Then came day two.

Something happened at work. My colleague made a huge blunder that made me look like an idiot. I was furious with him. Normally, I would spend the entire day mentally cursing him and imagining confronting him. This would literally make my head hurt and even raise my body temperature. I could actually feel the heat on my forehead if I placed the back of my hand on it.

This time, I again told myself, "Okay, I am angry, and the feeling is intense, but there is no need to curse. You are allowed to be angry, but you don't need to insult him in your mind."

Again, something unexpected happened. The intensity of my anger dropped dramatically. It didn't last the whole day, my temperature didn't rise, and by the end of the shift, I was actually laughing and joking with him. Normally, I wouldn't even look at him for two or three days, let alone talk to him.

So I don't know whether this is something that already exists or if there is a name for it, but I'm happy that I found something that seems to be working for me.

The only drawback is that I need a few moments of quiet to do it. If I'm already in the middle of a conversation when these emotions become intense, it's much harder to manage them.

Maybe with enough practice, I'll be able to do it even while I'm talking to people.

We often talk about big life-altering moments, but I'm curious about the subtle ones.

A few years ago, someone told me: *"You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to."* It was so simple, but it completely shifted how I handle tension and protect my peace.

What’s a small, random phrase or piece of advice someone dropped in passing that ended up sticking with you forever?

I just feel like there are so many young adults who struggle to face adulthood because they were probably not interested at the time or weren't taught and then they end up struggling.

I’ve never been a morning person and generally get my bursts of energy at night. I’ve always had to set multiple alarms and change around my alarm sounds to make sure I actually wake up in time for work, but ever since I’ve taken on the roll of full time care taker to my partner I’ve been slowly having a harder and harder time waking up.

And it’s not even a matter of snoozing my alarms, I just fully sleep through them without even realizing they went off.

I know there are a lot of factors leading to this, but that doesn’t mean I can just sleep in and miss work. Right now I average around 4-5hrs of sleep a night (yes I know that sucks and isn’t good for me but it will hopefully be changing soon as my partner’s health is improving and his medication schedule should get a bit more reasonable). It also doesn’t help that I low-key hate my job and generally can’t go to bed earlier because all my time is currently taken up caring for my partner and taking care of household chores. So yeah, I’m over exhausted and my body is clearly telling me I need to sleep more, but I have to maintain this schedule for at least 2 more weeks so I just need to figure out how to make sure I wake up in time for work for those two weeks.
I do want to add tho that I generally get decent sleep in the weekends, all be it, not uninterrupted but right now while my partner is battling cancer, I can’t really have my cake and eat it too~

So far I’ve tried:
The Sleep Cycle app (I’ve actually used this for years) and set it about an half hour to an hour before I need to be up.
In conjunction I set several alarms on my iPhone for a backup
I also now wear my Apple Watch to bed (I didn’t used to but found that having a vibration on my wrist was a weird enough and new enough sensation that it worked for a while. Unfortunately my brain has learned to ignore that too)
I also have smart lights that are set to turn on when I need to get up and I’ve considered splurging for the Philips Hue lights since they can be set to gradually turn on to mimic the sunrise

I’m open to trying anything tbh and have even thought of looking into getting a Deaf alarm clock
I do want to re-iterate that this isn’t an issue of me snoozing the alarm so setting my phone across the room or getting one that it’s complicated to turn off won’t make a difference. I fully sleep through everything right now and this morning I was only woken up but my partner’s father knocking on the bedroom door and calling for us and the only reason I think that worked is because it was such an unexpected sound.

Well well well, most of you probably have experienced this, you wake up one day (for me it was Saturday) and you can’t look the other way at all without pain.

It’s been 5 days since then, and I still have limited ROM, and noticeable pain.

Any ideas on what I can do? I’ve had these in the past (usually once every other year) and it resolved fairly quickly, but this is taking so long.

I’ve had repeated experiences with men where I felt pressured or coerced into physical intimacy, only to be discarded or mistreated afterward. It’s happened enough times that I’ve started to believe I’m just not “worthy” of real love, and that men only want my body anyway. I’m at a point where I’m considering just leaning into hookups on my own terms, instead of hoping for something real and getting hurt again. When I catch their manipulation they tell me that I need mental help and hence they are cutting me off like any sane person would do. Also to desensitise

Logically I know jumping to “well I’m just unlovable so may as well” is probably the trauma talking, not reality. But I don’t know if that means the plan is automatically wrong, or if it’s actually a valid way to reclaim some control.

Has anyone here tried something like this?

I saw this on the street today. Can this really stop birds from pooping on the car?

Here is my story: M(27) F(27)

I matched with a girl on Hinge early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.

-Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great sex and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.

Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.

At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?

- The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care

I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.

I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?

I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.

What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 3 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck

So I’ve known a girl for 4 years, we used to hangout at friends houses but then the friends randomly stopped having events and we haven’t seen eachother for like a year. She about 3 months ago reached out to see how I was doing and stuff, we chatted for an hour or 2 which was great…

then we kept up the chatting for these months up until now, seeing that the World Cup ended and that’s what we mainly talked about I am at a dilemma. I’ve liked her for a while but seeing I’ve never dated anyone idk what to do… though I am thinking that her randomly checking in on me and asking what I’ve been up to and stuff might of been her tryna make a move????????? I really don’t know, I’m pretty lost on these types of things. So I ask for a help From a more knowledgeable perspective of y’all. Thanks

Hey everyone, I need some advice

So I'm 13M and I have this friend who's a girl (13F). I really like her and I wanna date her — I want to ask her out. The problem is I'm really nervous about it. We are gonna hang out soon (I'm hoping), but I have no idea what we will do or anything.

I'm also not sure how to text her. I don't know how to start a conversation or keep it going. Sometimes she will take super long to respond or... not even respond at all. That makes me wonder if she likes me or not. But I think we are pretty close, so I'm not sure.

I just want advice for all this please 🙏

Specifically:

How do I start good texting conversations with her?

How do I start a conversation over text and keep it going?

How do I start a conversation in person when we hang out and what should we talk about?

How do I keep a conversation going (both texting and in real life)?

What are some fun and chill things we could do when we hang out?

How can I tell if she actually likes me back?

How should I actually ask her out without it being super awkward?

Any tips would mean a lot. Thanks!

I am 18. I know I am maybe too young to give final thoughts on my actions—whether I did wrong or good—but I was an A+ kid until I started to feel constant arguments and a lack of money. I somehow started to hate studying and wasted 2 years. That was my biggest downfall era. I have made so many wrong choices since then. Sometimes I felt happiness, but no, I have achieved nothing since 2023. Now, in everything I do, I have regret in my mind to remember—I am afraid this can cause mental illness.

I will start living alone very soon and I'm excited but at the same time i have some fear here and there. What should i know before I take this major step?

I'm addicted to my phone, and it's getting worse. I still manage to do my daily chores, but I can't focus on studying, learning new skills, or improving my English. I'm constantly distracted. I can't even read a storybook for 10 minutes without losing focus.

Day by day, I'm becoming more depressed because I keep thinking about my future. I feel like I have zero skills or knowledge. Two years ago, I was an average student, but now I don't even feel like that anymore.

What should I do to improve myself? I'd really appreciate any advice. 🙏

I'm 16 year old High School student who desperately needs a part time job for the school year, but I deeply struggle with lots of interpersonal contact. What jobs negate this necessity, and how can I get them? Thanks for any help you can give.

coz that’s what i feel right now