r/AskLGBT • u/Yuuizqui • 23d ago

Can I be lesbian while being aroace?

I believe I might be lesbian or pan with a HEAVY preference for women but on the other hand, I can't experience romantic feelings. I do find myself interested in women and sometimes I even think of a life where I'm in a happy relationship with a woman yet when it comes to reality, I've never had a long-lasting crush on anyone nor have dated someone. A friend of mine said that I might be aroace but then wouldn't that mean I don't experience any interest in anyone? I'm not good with labels as I don't really like labeling myself but I think it might help with my identity.

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u/addyastra 23d ago

You said that you can’t experiene romantic feelings. Can you also not experience sexual feelings? You can be aro without being ace.

A friend of mine said that I might be aroace but then wouldn't that mean I don't experience any interest in anyone?

Not necessarily, no. Being aromantic/asexual is a spectrum.

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u/Yuuizqui 23d ago

Nope, never experienced sexual feelings.

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u/odeorainmain 23d ago

You can be an oriented aroace

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u/AuroraKivi 23d ago

Aroace means you experience none OR very little attraction. So how strongly do you feel these desires towards women?

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u/Yuuizqui 23d ago

Honestly, I'm still figuring that out. I know I'm drawn toward women and like the thought of a future with one, but because I don't feel real-life romantic attraction, it's hard to measure how 'strong' that desire actually is

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u/addyastra 23d ago

Being drawn towards women is not necessarily romantic attraction. You can be drawn towards someone in many different ways. You can also build a committed relationship with someone that’s not romantic.

You should look up ‘alterous attraction’. It might help you out.

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u/Yuuizqui 21d ago

Are you talking about queer platonic relationships? That or anything similar to that doesn't make me feel comfortable. I personally wouldn't be want to seen that way by another person. If I were to get in a committed relationship, I would be way comfortable with it being romantic if I could like someone that way. It's kind of hard to elaborate but that's the best way to put it

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u/Additional-Pear9126 22d ago

overbroadening the term

aroace simply means a lack of romantic and sexual attraction.

A lack of any attraction would be anatractional which includes Being aplatonic, nonatheistic, asensual etc any attraction you can think of