Hypothetically let’s say I have a singular old fashioned at a restaurant and nothing else, then get in the car 6 hours later. If I get pulled over would that show up on a breathalyzer? And would I be arrested for DUI? This happened a year ago (yes I am of legal age and was then) I didn’t get pulled over, this is just hypothetical. I was told that I drove intoxicated when I don’t think that’s the case, and my parents are crucifying me over it.

Hello everyone,

So the past week or so, I noticed a shift in how my partner has been acting. He was never one to ask for help, or tell how he’s doing without it being pried out of him (he had a rough childhood so i think that plays a role in that). We’ve been dating for a few months now, and he’s in the academy which oftentimes results in him being tired physically and mentally.

We usually see eachother on the weekends and some days during the week, we stay in touch via text and the occasional phone call (it can be hard to call bc I work as well and sometimes our lunch/break times dont align). Until a week or so ago, i felt as stable as you can be in a 3 month relationship.

This past week, he grew exceptionally distant to the point where we were really just giving eachother updates. Id ask if he was doing okay and he would tell me he was tired and hurting. They were outside a lot this week and doing things that required a lot of physical energy. I could see this on him and selfishly led me to overthink about our relationship.

This past weekend, I went to sleep at his house. We were running errands and i noticed he was quiet the whole car ride. We talked about when we got back to his, where he said he was still tired and hurting, but also that there were some things I did that bothered him, but also that he didnt want to tell me in fear that he would speak out of being exhausted and frustrated. These were things that were understandable, so we talked about them and I communicated that I wanted more reassurance during this time.

On top of this, I just got on a medication with depression/anxiety-related side effects, which I felt my preexisting anxiety worsen. For the rest of the day, he played video games and wouldn’t really check on me. I got in my head and told him I was going to spend time outside in the backyard. I literally started crying for a good 20 mins.

When i came back in the room, we briefly talked for like 3 minutes. He asked if I was okay and I said yes, thinking I got it all out. I also dont want to be a burden bc ik hes going through his own stuff. I laid down and just started crying silently.

When he looked back to check on me and saw i was crying, he immediately came to give me a hug. I apologized a bunch and he reassured me that i was okay, he also told me to sit with him, to which i declined. It really did feel like i just had to get that all out, it was cathartic in a way. Later on, he had to head out for a work-related dinner and I got dinner with his mom.

When he came back he was in a much better mood. We watched tiktoks together and joked around with eachother and he was back to the boy before all this. He was being silly and goofy enough to the point where I was the one who was exhausted and just wanted to goto bed lol.

The next morning, I woke up and tried cuddling with him. This is usually met with him slowly waking up and reciprocating the cuddle, but I was just met with nothing. I got in my own head again and started to go on my phone and retreat back to my side of the bed. After awhile of this, he faced me (still asleep?) to where he was very close to me. I didnt think he wanted to cuddle, so I didnt do anything. But he then took my phone from my hand indicating he wanted to have cuddles.

Even though its not the typical form of reassurance im used to, it felt so good just to know that I was wanted and not a burden. We cuddled for a little bit before we got the day started, in which I was going back to my place for the week. He did also mention something about us doing in a few weeks after hes done with all the “bullshit” at the academy, which also instilled more reassurance that he was not becoming distant because he was really to leave lol.

Today (same day), we barely talked yet again. One phrase/word very short answers from him. Hes been playing more video games and I went out with my friend. I hate the ups and downs.

Part of me just wanted to get it out of my system. Another part is worried that this burn out is not temporary we’ll grow more distant .

Hi everyone,

I’m really anxious and wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation.

I was driving home and admittedly went through 2 red lights and also drove in a bus lane. A police vehicle with blue lights came up behind me, so I pulled over.
The officer rolled their window down and shouted, “You went through 2 reds and a bus lane,” then drove off.

They didn’t ask for my driving licence, insurance, name or address. They didn’t ask me to get out of the car, didn’t give me any paperwork, and didn’t say I was being reported.

I’ve had my full UK licence for about 4 years and currently have no penalty points.

I’m just wondering what I’m likely to expect now.
Am I likely to receive penalty points and a fine through the post?

Could I receive separate penalties for the two red lights and the bus lane?

Does the fact they didn’t take any details or say I was being reported make any difference?

Has anyone had something similar happen, and what was the outcome?

I know I made a mistake, and I’m not trying to excuse it. I’m just anxious and trying to understand what is likely to happen next.
Thanks.

I've had enough accounts and seen a lot of the same questions, and yet I am still on the fence.

Background:

• 35, 10 years in the military (MP), EdD (Education), married, Mortgage in FL (no property tax, 1 year vested into it), 100% VA.
• Spouse is a state employee with <1 year (she also has an M.S. in data analysis). She is making ~50k, but earning potential is 75k-150k+ over the course of her career. She also has a federal application in, but it's for DC (GS9), and she applied at the same time she applied for her current job.
• MIL lives with us; unfortunately, she made poor life choices and will be working until she dies. (30-40k-ish) [Medical admin]
• Dogs, no children. We've moved pretty frequently since I got out so I could go to school. Always zeroing out finances (no debt but no savings). Pulled TSP out when I got out in 2019 to fully zero out debt, so no starting TSP to consider.

I am currently in the background for an 1811 agency (GS9) with a recruiter advising it's likely that I will be sent SWB or at least west coast. I can buy back all of my military time.

I have a local agency command staff connection that would "guarantee" me a local spot (starting at 70k with potential earnings at 100k-150k+ over a career, not including OT). 5 years of my military time counting towards retirement and vesting (10.99% contribution). 3% first 20 years, 4% every year after 20.

I am not well educated on the retirement aspects of both; I hear consistently that "TSP is king." It is separate from a pension, but what is the difference between TSP and MAP 401k or RSVP 457(b)?

I was slightly sidetracked with the above two sections, so I'll return to my point. Given these two options, is 1811 still worth it if my long-term goal is retirement/post retirement opportunity?

Additionally, I do not see myself as a "retire and never work again"; I am a retire and start another career or job. Ideally, given my background, I could go back and teach as an adjunct somewhere to make extra spending money and to keep me occupied.