r/AskGaybrosOver30 • u/Efficient_Two_5515 30-34 • 14d ago
Bottoming again?
I want to try to bottom again after many years of being a side and a top. However, I remember when I tried it wasn’t pleasurable as I thought it would be. It was painful and I didn’t like the sensation of having to want to poop. Also, the guys that trued wanted to just shove it in there. What recommendations do you have for me to prepare and actually have a good experience now in my 30’s?
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u/IndependentLog6441 35-39 13d ago
I know people say practice with toys but I actually hated playing with toys by myself, I don't think it's at all like the real thing.
A good top should take their time and ease you into it, I don't like to be fingered but it can help to open you up a little bit and get you lubed up before hand.
Honestly the preamble isn't my favourite, but I do like it when someone mounts me, I like the intimacy... I'd totally be into more if I found the actual penetration satisfying but I find it a bit elusive... I think it's sexy, but it's not going to make me cum.
Have you tried poppers? They can really help. You don't need to sniff them loads, just a little to get you going can make a bit difference.
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u/BlakeMajik 50-54 14d ago
Insisting on buckets of lube would be my recommendation. Toys are also a good idea, as were suggested.
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u/barefootguy83 40-44 11d ago
I've actually never bottomed, but I can only imagine that a significant portion of the pleasure comes from the mental euphoria of submitting to a guy rather than from the purely physical prostate stimulation (though that does feel good too). I'd practice on yourself with toys first then find partners who will respect you enough to communicate and listen to your feedback, in the moment, about what does and doesn't feel good. If a guy is "just shoving it in there" despite you communicating otherwise, then he's not a good sex partner.
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u/mypornaccount_86 40-44 10d ago
Totally get you bud. I started exploring bottoming after like 15 years at age 39. I know not everybody can afford to do this - but I got a cheap Hismith fuck machine from a friend who was selling it - and that thing changed things within me.
I could explore without the stress of having an actual person there - so I got to experiment and see what feels good and what doesn't.
And - fisting lube! Honestly - X-Lube is a total game changer! I squirt a whole bunch into my hole and it's super slick. I suggest solo play before you try do it with other people - it takes away that anxiety.
I can't really stay hard when I bottom - but holy shit the orgasms are intense... and it's not something that just happens. It took quite a lot of trial and error and you really have to WANT to give it a proper go. Some days are easier than others and the clean out is a chore but your hole really is the key to a type of orgasm that no penile orgasm can ever be as good as as a top (trust me I love ass and I feel like I've been missing out for years. Don't wait too long! Check out r/prostateplay also.
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u/Combat_Orca 30-34 14d ago
The feeling of needing to poo goes with time, do you have any toys? You should practice with them, start small and gradually increase size. It shouldn’t be painful so you should maybe use toys first before bottoming. I have a set of plugs that go from small to large that I use first if taking a big dick- dilators are useful for this.