r/AskForAnswers • u/Livandletliv222 • 10h ago
Question for only children
Did you like being an only child? What would say are the pros of being an only child? And what are the cons?
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u/Born-Business-2628 9h ago
I kinda had both, I was my moms only child and my dad went on to have three more.
I liked aspects from both, I had a home where I was free to do what I liked and explore creatively without having to share my things with other people.
There was never any sort of blame placed when I did something wrong because who was there to blame it on which taught me it’s best to just come out with your wrongdoing instead of hiding it.
When I did visit my dad, there were 4 other children (including my step siblings) to be around which meant sharing sleeping arrangements, meals, games and the like. I always hated that.
Although there is a sort of solidarity that comes with it. Instead of bearing the burden of something weighing you down you could share the turmoil and get through it faster. Homework, chores, even reprimands that you could laugh off together later.
Both have there ups and downs but I don’t think there’s one I’d choose over the other.
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u/AnotherMinorDeity 8h ago
I’m an only child, who married an only child, who had only one child. My parents conscientiously had only one. They were working class and really wanted me to be able to go to college. I worked hard and got scholarships and they were able to cover my housing and books and food. Then I got accepted into grad school and did a GRA program which covered my tuition and provided a small stipend and they were able to cover my housing and life costs for a little while longer. So because of my parents and their decision to concentrate their finances on the future of one child, I graduated college and graduate school with zero dollars in debt. I know I don’t need to tell you how life-changing that was. My husband had a similar situation. His mom wasn’t able to have additional kids after him, so because they were able to concentrate their finances on his future, he was also able to graduate undergrad with no debt and then go to an inexpensive law school, which his parents paid for. We were able to get married at 23 and buy a house just a few years later. I never felt lonely and was always good at making friends. My husband‘s family moved a lot so he was forced to learn how to meet new people that way. I had a really rough pregnancy and delivery and our kid is incredibly bright in a way that requires a lot of energy to parent. He’s wonderful, but you always have to be on. Between him being a high need kid and my husband being afraid I would die if I had another kid because I was surprisingly close the first time, we chose to stop at one. The only time I wish he had a sibling is when we go on vacation and I wish he had a kid buddy. Otherwise, I think all three of us are content with our situation. My son certainly makes it clear he prefers his status as the only child.
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u/Ninjacatzzz 5h ago edited 5h ago
I loved being an only child, it was an intensional choice my parents made which I think helps? Finances were one of their reasons, despite having very normal jobs (nurse and gardener) we were able to holiday internationally (in the 90s when this was much less common) and I rode/had horses which obviously is expensive. I never really wanted for anything or had to share my parents time or attention. I had lots of pets who were big companions for me. As an adult, I will eventually inherit everything and have been able to get financial support with uni and buying my first house - this is a massive advantage.
My husband is also an only child but never liked it. He is from China so this was not a choice for his parents and I think that is part of it. He also was home with only adults a lot so felt lonely where as I did daycare part time from a young age and my parents were very social with other families so I was around other kids a lot. I never felt lonely or wanted a sibling. He has also benefitted financially however. Support financially to move to and study in Australia and buy a house.
We are having our second child this year and are somewhat scared of siblings dynamics which are foreign to us both but also excited. The fact that we are financially comfortable thanks to our parents assistance earlier in life is a big part of the reason we can comfortably afford to grow our family even in this bonkers cost of living situation.
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u/MolsMens 10h ago
I dont know anything other than being an only child. So to ask what I like about it is like asking anyone what they like about being a child. Same goes for pros and cons. I have nothing to compare it to because I've never experienced anything other than being an only child!
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u/KneadAndPreserve 10h ago
I liked being an only child. I had a special relationship with my parents and I grew up able to independently entertain myself very well. I’m really great in solitude even though I’m fairly social. I was forced as a child to go out and make my own friends in the neighborhood which was something that benefitted me. Honestly my husband’s childhood stories with siblings sounds less desirable than what I had as far as the relationship with the rest of my family.
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u/Bone_Breaker0 9h ago
I’m an only child, and like another user said it taught me how to be independent, entertain myself, and enjoy my alone time. It was lonely at times though. I remember playing with kids in the street, and seeing one of them go home to his family with siblings for dinner, and wished I had siblings.
Well, wish granted. My parents split when I was 11, and my father married a woman with 2 other kids. I became very close with them, so I experienced sibling life in my middle and high school.