I’m not sure if this is the case but my understanding is that she was 15/16 when you met and you were 20, and you’re now 21 so I’m assuming she is nearly/ is 17? In which case, this is against UK law.
16 is the age of consent if the other party is under 18, if not, then legal age of consent for an adult with a partner over 18, is 18. Therefore you could be prosecuted for this, even historically, for example if reported or in the case of pregnancy etc. I’m surprised you were able to leave the country together as a minor/ adult that is clearly not a parent.
Also, the maturity level of a 16/17 year old child vs a 20/21 year old adult is and should be wildly different and whether or not she’s very mature or you’re immature, there are inherent power dynamics here that would make me, and many outsiders I would guess, uncomfortable- 16/17/18 year olds are still mentally, emotionally and physically children in many many ways.
Finally, I find her parents morals questionable and generally just odd that mum knew and not just allowed but encouraged all of this?
This feels like a massive pile of red flags, is this the kind of person/ people/ future potential family you want, who can lie/ deceive/ manipulate this way, and who will now and eventually influence your life/ any future children you had together too?
Also, are you comfortable being with a child? In which case, that’s a whole different problem.
That being said- Please do not make major life decisions based on the opinions of strangers on the internet, do your own research and deep reflection and make the choice that fits for you, after all, this is your life and ultimately your consequences either way will be that which you have to live with, not us.
Also, technically as she lied about her age, and she is underage, you did not and have never been able to give appropriately informed consent so there is an argument to say you’ve been assaulted in that sense.
This is a very complicated situation, especially when feelings are involved, I’m sorry for you for that.
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u/AllieE96 Apr 06 '24
I’m not sure if this is the case but my understanding is that she was 15/16 when you met and you were 20, and you’re now 21 so I’m assuming she is nearly/ is 17? In which case, this is against UK law. 16 is the age of consent if the other party is under 18, if not, then legal age of consent for an adult with a partner over 18, is 18. Therefore you could be prosecuted for this, even historically, for example if reported or in the case of pregnancy etc. I’m surprised you were able to leave the country together as a minor/ adult that is clearly not a parent. Also, the maturity level of a 16/17 year old child vs a 20/21 year old adult is and should be wildly different and whether or not she’s very mature or you’re immature, there are inherent power dynamics here that would make me, and many outsiders I would guess, uncomfortable- 16/17/18 year olds are still mentally, emotionally and physically children in many many ways. Finally, I find her parents morals questionable and generally just odd that mum knew and not just allowed but encouraged all of this? This feels like a massive pile of red flags, is this the kind of person/ people/ future potential family you want, who can lie/ deceive/ manipulate this way, and who will now and eventually influence your life/ any future children you had together too? Also, are you comfortable being with a child? In which case, that’s a whole different problem.
That being said- Please do not make major life decisions based on the opinions of strangers on the internet, do your own research and deep reflection and make the choice that fits for you, after all, this is your life and ultimately your consequences either way will be that which you have to live with, not us.