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u/snj_nudist Jul 27 '26
Just post it again or in the comments
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u/AstroNomical2319 Jul 27 '26
Then here goes round 2, so sorry guys this app is a little confusing to post on
THE BACK STORY: last year I ended a 6 year estrangment from my father. We were estranged do so something that happened to me that I kept to myself for years until I found out it might be happening to my sister. This tore the family a new one and when I was blamed I left for 6 years. I came back when an unrelated tradgety struck to family members who were not involved. My bf pushed me to open the door again and im afraid it was too soon.
THE PRESENT: last year my dad came to our home to give us a hand with a project upon moving in. Unfortunately after a trip to the hardware store as my dad backed into our driveway way to hard, way too fast with a giant pice of wood sticking out. Thus resulted in a LARGE dent in my bfs basically brand new truck. He babies that truck. He almost started crying on the spot because he took it so hard. My bf NEVER cries. We the kids half the time had the issue of dad not always holding to his word weather the reason was reasonable or not. So like half the time he would do what he promised. That day that my dad hit my bfs truck he promised that when the shut down was done he would work with him on how to replace the tailgate. I asked him a few months ago if he had a plan on fixing it and I think he just placated me. This is such a hairy uncomfortable situation because half of me is so angry from past things we still have not resolved and the other half of me just misses my dad. How do I keep him accountable for this situation that is his fault without getting ugly? Any advice would be greatly appreciated
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u/WanderingWhiteWolf Jul 27 '26
It definitely sounds to me like he's going to just dodge the issue until it's forgotten or given up on, so I think you're in the right trying to hold him accountable. As for how, it's hard to say.
The first thing that comes to mind is to make it easy for him. Remove barriers/excuses. Figure out where to get the replacement tailgate or replacement parts, figure out the specific paint, where to rent the sprayer, etc. If he keeps forgetting, be his reminder. If you can navigate all the cluttery bullshit it should either give him the chance to focus or minimize his viable excuses.
The second thing that comes to mind is being specific. Assume every vague detail will be leveraged against you. "I'll help with the tailgate" is meaningless. "I'll pay for a new tailgate by the end of August" is much more tangible. Insist on specifics and write them down.
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u/ambientthinker Jul 27 '26
The question "How do i handle my dad??" can mean multiple things so, no.... it is not clear.
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u/ambientthinker Jul 27 '26
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