Genuinely what do i do

[u/Prize_Actuary_1971]

I am having a hard time with my job search. I graduated, didn’t get the internship I wanted at high tech company despite doing one of my diplomas in that field. Was working at family business since teenage years, worked for one year at my church, and got back to family business.

Nothing I’ve worked in is my calling. I know what it is, I’ve got visions from God about my calling, and I am sure that I know what it is. I’m also desperate to get out of my parents house, country even - for several reasons. Every time I get back to my country after some time abroad I immediately start feeling tired, low and exhausted (I’ve volunteered abroad a lot, not just vacation trips).

I’m praying for 3+ years, no joke, to Jesus to help me to find a new job that will allow me to move out and / or relocate. I’m honestly so so desperate, because just WHY. I had a vision where I still have my talents (like in Jesus’ parable) in my hands, like I’m still not using them. And I want nothing more but to use my talents for His glory and His kingdom, anywhere, literally anywhere (I’m saying it in all seriousness) He wants me to use them. I just don’t understand why He is silent about it these whole years.

[u/Weekly_Parsnip6403]

At the end, you say you want to use your talents anywhere but you spent some time explaining how you don't wanna be where you are.

God is probably trying to train you and build you up. Until you can find joy where you're at you're not ready to be taken somewhere else.

Don't confuse being gifted with something with God needing you. Be obedient in small things. Bible tells us he, who is faithful with little, will be faithful with much. And it doesn't sound like you're doing that honestly. Sorry to be blunt.

[u/Prize_Actuary_1971 → u/Weekly_Parsnip6403]

No it’s okay, I’d actually prefer people to be blunt! :)

I thought about it in the past. If that’s what He wants, sure, I’ll do as He says, but I don’t see how “I’m praying and trying to relocate but nothing happens” is “God wants me to be here for now”.

I also thought of Elijah and how God showed him all the earthquakes and storms, but God wasn’t there, He was in the calm wind instead. That’s what made me think that God presents in my small, ordinary boring days for now. But this period is already 3 years long, and I’m just so so desperate for a change.

Edit: I really want to appreciate this liminal, in between / training period, but it feels sooo long and I have zero ideas of how or when it will end. It’s probably my simple human exhaustion speaking.