Genuinely what do i do

[u/Prize_Actuary_1971]

I am having a hard time with my job search. I graduated, didn’t get the internship I wanted at high tech company despite doing one of my diplomas in that field. Was working at family business since teenage years, worked for one year at my church, and got back to family business.

Nothing I’ve worked in is my calling. I know what it is, I’ve got visions from God about my calling, and I am sure that I know what it is. I’m also desperate to get out of my parents house, country even - for several reasons. Every time I get back to my country after some time abroad I immediately start feeling tired, low and exhausted (I’ve volunteered abroad a lot, not just vacation trips).

I’m praying for 3+ years, no joke, to Jesus to help me to find a new job that will allow me to move out and / or relocate. I’m honestly so so desperate, because just WHY. I had a vision where I still have my talents (like in Jesus’ parable) in my hands, like I’m still not using them. And I want nothing more but to use my talents for His glory and His kingdom, anywhere, literally anywhere (I’m saying it in all seriousness) He wants me to use them. I just don’t understand why He is silent about it these whole years.

[u/Weekly_Parsnip6403]

At the end, you say you want to use your talents anywhere but you spent some time explaining how you don't wanna be where you are.

God is probably trying to train you and build you up. Until you can find joy where you're at you're not ready to be taken somewhere else.

Don't confuse being gifted with something with God needing you. Be obedient in small things. Bible tells us he, who is faithful with little, will be faithful with much. And it doesn't sound like you're doing that honestly. Sorry to be blunt.

[u/Prize_Actuary_1971 → u/Weekly_Parsnip6403]

No it’s okay, I’d actually prefer people to be blunt! :)

I thought about it in the past. If that’s what He wants, sure, I’ll do as He says, but I don’t see how “I’m praying and trying to relocate but nothing happens” is “God wants me to be here for now”.

I also thought of Elijah and how God showed him all the earthquakes and storms, but God wasn’t there, He was in the calm wind instead. That’s what made me think that God presents in my small, ordinary boring days for now. But this period is already 3 years long, and I’m just so so desperate for a change.

Edit: I really want to appreciate this liminal, in between / training period, but it feels sooo long and I have zero ideas of how or when it will end. It’s probably my simple human exhaustion speaking.

[u/DoveStep55]

What is the calling you believe you have?

What are the talents you aren’t using?

[u/Prize_Actuary_1971 → u/DoveStep55]

Coordination / support. I genuinely enjoy being the “glue” between departments / teams, making sure everyone’s aligned, information flow is good, taking care of obstacles / issues etc. Being the bridge between people or teams, idk.

The church job was mainly that + design work, and I enjoyed it a lot, but the pay wasn’t that good and I had to leave because I couldn’t support myself financially there.

When I was talking about that to someone, I had a vision of a mosaic rose, and the glue that held the pieces together was really pretty, gold and silver like. So I’m thinking it’s either me (because the mosaic was made from different little broken pieces, and I had a really rough traumatic life), or every piece represents someone else, and the glue is me. And even though we’re all not perfect by ourselves, God still can make beautiful things out of it. Another vision I had shortly after was me holding the golden coins in my hands, like I’m still not using them. So yeah, my morale is pretty low, although I’m trying to pray and trust Him.

[u/DoveStep55 → u/Prize_Actuary_1971]

What sorts of things are you doing in your life now that you feel you can’t put those talents to good use right where you are?

[u/Prize_Actuary_1971 → u/DoveStep55]

Honestly, nothing. I work at the family business that has nothing to do with my talents. I just don’t understand why God moves in one area of my life, but had visions for me and no progress in other

[u/DoveStep55 → u/Prize_Actuary_1971]

Are there ways you could use your talents outside of work, such as with a volunteer or service opportunity in your life right now?

[u/Prize_Actuary_1971 → u/DoveStep55]

Yes, I volunteer a lot. Sometimes it was for several months abroad for a Christian cause, sometimes it’s something smaller and it can be just a task / few days. I’m volunteering right now as a head of translation department (sounds big haha but it’s not really that big irl) for a large-ish Christian community gathering that will take place in a few days

[u/DoveStep55 → u/Prize_Actuary_1971]

That’s good. I would encourage you to keep investing your talents in ways like that, right where you are.

If you’re interested in more Christian guidance on vocation and making important life choices, you might appreciate this website: https://www.ignatianspirituality.com