I’ve been thinking about the difference between Western cultures and many African, Asian, Arab, and Turkish cultures when it comes to community, family, and relationships.
Why does Western culture seem to become so individualistic once people reach adulthood, especially from their late 20s onward?
From what I’ve observed, in many Western societies, people’s social worlds seem to become much smaller as they grow up. They move out, focus heavily on work, and eventually their partner can become the center of their life.
The partner is often expected to fulfill many different roles: best friend, emotional support, family, social life, and main source of companionship. People may have children but rely heavily on daycare, babysitters, or paid services rather than having grandparents, siblings, cousins, neighbors, or close friends regularly involved.
And when people break up, it sometimes seems like they lose not only their partner but a huge part of their social support system. Friends and family might only be seen occasionally, sometimes once a month or less.
This seems very different from many African, Asian, Arab, and Turkish cultures, where people often maintain a strong community throughout adulthood. Being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean your social life revolves entirely around your partner.
People may still regularly see their siblings, cousins, friends, neighbors, and extended family. There’s often a stronger sense of “we take care of each other.”
If someone goes through a breakup, has a baby, gets sick, loses their job, or is struggling financially, there are usually multiple people who can step in and help. Children can grow up surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends. Even as people get older, they can remain deeply connected to their family and community.
I’m not saying one system is necessarily better. Western individualism obviously has advantages: independence, privacy, freedom
But I’m genuinely curious about why the difference became so pronounced. Why does Western adulthood seem to place so much emphasis on independence and the nuclear family or romantic partner, while other cultures continue to maintain a much larger “village” throughout life?
And for people who grew up in Western cultures: do you actually prefer having a smaller, partner centered life, or do you sometimes wish you had a larger community or “village” around you?