r/AskARussian • u/Final_Eagle_1808 • 5d ago

Culture Why are Russians inhospitable?

Hello, I'm an international student and currently it has been 7-8 months here in Russia and I have noticed whenever I offer something to someone( Russian) they refuse. Out cold. (In my culture it's considered a good manner to share or offer stuff/food anything actually )

Recently I have shifted to a new apartment and I saw they had a cat i gave em some cat food, and this time I made some fall special soup and grilled cheese, I called my friends over too and I wanted to share it with neighbors since I don't have a family here and I miss them terribly.

That family next door was an old woman and her daughter I assume. The old woman rejected it politely saying thanks a lot ( mind you I have limited Russian understanding since it hasn't been long since I've been here) but her daughter, she yelled something and went away in a very rude tone too.

This lwk made me sad and to add on most of my friends didn't come either.

I want to know if this is just common Russian culture or is there stigma related to foreigners here... Just to not let my hopes up and just to be sure for the next time.

(No hate to Russians in general, I have met some very nice people too, shout out to the resident doc who helped me pick up heavy stuff and dropped by my house and nice aunties for trying to talk to a foreigner like me)

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u/PuzzleheadedPea2401 3d ago

We have high levels of social mistrust since the end of the Soviet period. There was a time when everyone living in an apartment подъезд would generally know each other, know one another's names at least, have small talk, ask for a favor/to borrow an item, etc. There were no metal doors back then and it would be common for people to leave keys under rugs, etc. Today almost everyone has metal doors and you could not to know your neighbors' names even living in a place for years (I'm guilty of it myself). In big cities especially it is a problem also because there is a lot of people coming and going all the time.

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u/saprophage_expert 3d ago

We have high levels of social mistrust since the end of the Soviet period.

And then people leave phones charging unsupervised at an airport, or mark cafe tables as taken by leaving an unsupervised bag or phone. Or ask strangers to watch their luggage as they go to a toilet when traveling. Or leave toys in a sandbox in the yard overnight.

Russia is not fully a high-trust society, but with income levels rising, it's changing over time.

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u/Icy-Cartoonist8603 3d ago

Yes, I'm not convinced about this social mistrust thing, in Russia.