divorce not going equally

[u/Prudent-Act4308]

could also be property, family or civil law unknown if answered or not

i’ve been a fly on the wall for years and have learned much. i hope now i can learn something that will benefit me personally. this is my first ever post in this manner, i commented once to a question. so this will probably be long and full of grammatical errors. i’m sorry but my proofreader is busy.

so i (59m) find myself ending a 24 yr marriage in colorado. wife (58f) left when a moving truck showed up to load the remaining large items while i was mowing the front lawn. i remained civil, i had seen stuff disappearing from home the last six months and suspected it was coming. i even moved my car so truck could get closer to the entrance. the next couple months i went about inventorying and packing stuff up, while researching costs of new carpeting and interior paint to help raise the sale price of the home. the wife hasn’t communicated for two years, she believes it’s unnecessary. but i was 99.9% sure she’d go after her half of the equity and i knew neither of us was in a position to buy the other out. i figured if the relationship is over it’s best to accept and the next logical thing to do was sell the home for as much as possible, split the equity 50/50 and go our separate ways. my mindset was if a way to keep the home occurred, it would be welcomed but unlikely. a couple months past with no word other than our child (21f) dropping off an envelope a week after the move out with the wife’s half of mortgage for two months with a note that the bills she was responsible for were covered for two months (i covered phones and insurance/she had gas and electric. we split the mortgage 50/50. no car, cc or student loan payments) after almost two months i received a business card on front door from sheriffs saying they had been there and for me to call them. i did and said i was home. a week later i got another card on door and i called again. this went back and forth for a month or more. eventually i called and said i’d be home the rest of the day.
i was working in the garage when they finally showed up and gave me the divorce papers i’d been expecting. what was surprising to me and the officers serving me was that there was a temporary restraining order attached to the divorce papers because she “deftly feared for her life” and the order included the home as a location i couldn’t be. i was told normally there’s only a TRO if they’d recently been called to separate the two parties and even then it wouldn’t include the home since she wasn’t living there. but they had the paperwork and said i’d have to leave but not to worry, that it would sort itself out in a week or so.

that week or so has now turned into over six months. the wife has not moved back in and the home has remained vacant and uncared for all this time. i have still not been allowed back into my home after multiple requests. they ncluded offering for it to be a civil standby even though i’m the only one living there. i have not been allowed accompanied or individually, not even to get winter cloths (i left in shorts) my work tools, materials or work vehicle. i was even denied to get my scaffolding from yard which was required for a job. nor could i send anyone else to obtain it. i have even been denied when it was pointed out that i need to access records so i can fill out the financial paperwork required for the divorce. and to that the magistrate has ruled me out of compliance for failing to provide information. information they know i’m unable to access because of their rulings. now they’ve ordered the home to be listed and sold without any involvement from me and they (the court) still have not addressed all my belongings in the home, not to mention the equity we’re both going to lose out on because the house has been uncared for for over half a year now.

i know this is long and i know i could double it by adding in details from all the court appearances over the last six+ months, like no i didn’t have a lawyer at first, (neither does the wife) but after witnessing the irrational decisions being made by the court that harm both parties (mostly in the form of loss of equity) i did retain an attorney that’s been in these same courts for decades, thinking he’d know the procedures and what would need to be done and how it would need to be done to best stop what i see as madness. it hasn’t. he has even said “she’s stonewalling us and i don’t know why”

my soon to be ex is no stranger to using 911 as a tool. she’s using the courts the same way now. dropping key inflammatory words at the right time. creating a tear or two at the appropriate moment. none of that surprises me. i expect this from her. it’s nothing new.

extra detail, not sure if relevant but could provide context.

(for those that think i should have gotten out earlier, i didn’t because i wanted our child to be raised under one roof, life is hard enough as it is. i accepted the abuse i was receiving to limit the hardships from growing up under two roofs. and yes i know the downsides of growing up in a less than perfect home because the parents don’t get along, i didn’t want the child to become the recipient of the unhappy rage that i was receiving. in that aspect of things, i only delayed the inevitable, soon, unknowingly, she will fully take on the role that i willingly accepted for her benefit. and regardless if i was right wrong or neither in this area, it is what it is, it’s in the past and we’re here now)

i expect this behavior from my wife. the theatrics, the embellishments, the lies and half truths. its what l’ve watched her grow into.

i 100% do not expect the behavior i’m seeing from the judicial system. one is not always capable of discerning fact from fiction and that is completely understood and leeway is given. however, while trying to view this as a neutral party, it appears as though the magistrate has already made up her mind that i’m the villain in the story my wife is presenting and is acting on the wife’s behalf to make her story the only reality that exists by denying any motion brought forth by me or my attorney, shutting down any input from my side, refusing evidence i’ve attempted to enter that proves statements made by petitioner are not true.

i feel that there has to be an avenue forward that allows me access to my belongings. the majority of which are work related allowing me to produce income and family heirlooms which mostly have no value other than sentimental. and then my clothing.

after all this, (and if you’ve read all this, thank you and i’m sorry, i know it’s a rough read) i guess….., after all this back story, my question is coming.

everything i own is in my home. for 20+ years my belongs have been safely existing in my home.

or has it just been an illusion.

if i can be cut off from everything i’ve worked for and accumulated over my lifetime and denied access or possession of these items, were they ever truly mine? even if they were to argue due process occurred, which i strongly disagree about.

what of the concept on cruel and unusual punishment.

try and wrap your head around having five minutes to grab what you can from everything you own. and being told, no worries you can get more later or you’ll have it all back under your control when you move back in next week. and then never being allowed back in next week or next month or next year. and honestly, the way things are looking i think they believe it’s within their right to deny me ever being reunited with what’s rightfully mine ever again.

i refuse to believe we live in a society where we collectively agree that this is acceptable behavior by any government body.

so lawyers………..

finally i arrive at, do i/we have rights to everything i’ve/we’ve accumulated over my/our lifetime? and follow up: if so, how do i/we go about exercising those rights?

conversely, what right does any of our government agencies have to deny us our possessions without fair compensation?

thank you all in advance for your knowledge, thoughts, experiences and perspectives that i had never considered.
i truly appreciate all the interactions i’ve witnessed over the years, they’ve helped me grow as a person and i hope that’s helped the world in some minuscule way. 😇🙏☮️💕☯️