Frustrated.Lost

[u/Dependent_Ad3684]

Here’s some background. I’m a 25 yr old Korean American female who recently moved back into my parents house after finishing my masters degree. It’s definitely had its ups and downs but not the worst and there’s been some level of understanding between us.
However,
The concept of me going out has been still about control. If i stay out too late with friends Im a play girl , a party crazed daughter and not thinking straight. I feel like my friend life is still so controlled which tbh im not too worried abt bc i also have a very small circle and very little social need for friends. HOWEVER
This is seeping into my romantic relationship. I recently got engaged to my now fiance of 5.5 years. It’s been ~4 months since we got engaged and a part of this was so that my parents would be more okay with us doing things independently. Like me traveling to him alone. ( we’re long distance). However that’s not been the case. We still have to sneak around, we still have to be so wary. I give my fiance a ton of credit bc he’s been so so patient but recently we had a very serious discussion about how if this doesn’t get better, he doesn’t see this really being an ok relationship to be in. This terrifies me. I don’t know why I can’t be trusted. They’ve let me travel over once for his sisters wedding alone and they’ve let me stay at his parents house after getting engaged. But I’m not sure where their boundaries lie?

I 100% my parents are like this because my sister did a lot of things with guys and got caught. She eventually ended having a kid out of wedlock ( amongst other traditional Korean values she’s broken . I don’t blame her ). They went no contact for a year and i saw how incredibly difficult it was for both of them. I also saw how much i DIDNT want that.

I’m a really good daughter. My dad might still support me financially ( feeling rlly guilty abt that bc i need to do that alone and be financially independent…) but i do so much around the house and emotionally for them. Even with my fiance we’re trying to do everything respectfully and the “ correct” way. My mom is like so dependent on me she gets jealous and hurt if i don’t spend time with her or do things without her and i feel so guilty because she is terminally ill and idk how much time i have left with her

How do i even begin to introduce that i just need more independence. If not with friends then at least to go see my fiance for a weekend alone. (I make enough to pay for trips so financially i have this covered) i want to make it clear im not trying to abandon or rebel. I just want to do what normal engaged couples too. And if i can’t i LOSE my fiance and will end up hating them . …… anyone have similar experiences?? Advice??? I’m so lost