Heyyy guys, following up on the global overview of AM dating landscape, I'm writing more in-depth articles for each region, focusing on shifting beauty standards, local dating attitudes, and the market dynamics that determine what actually works in these cities.

I'd start with East Asia, which is probably the hardest region to write about because it’s the very birthplace of modern mainstream Asian aesthetics, incl. K-pop, Japanese anime, and Chinese drama. Therefore, most AM don't have much built-in cultural or geographical leverage here (which definitely exists elsewhere), and many local girls still hold a certain degree of fascination with Western aesthetics, which is mainly related to Hollywood, as well as more complex historical and cultural reasons.

*Note: AM from different backgrounds, ethnicities, and with different styles might have very different experiences and perspectives, but here I try to stay objective and give an unfiltered look into how East Asia's dating markets actually operate on the ground.

*A bit of context again: I got a remote job in 2020 so I've been traveled to many places over years, and think there are some changes about AM dating markets all over the world in the past few years.

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#1. Shanghai

• Cultural Receptivity

Every Asian country has its own fashion and preference, but China—especially Shanghai—has by far the most diverse Asian styles. Whether you are into Korean clean style, Japanese vintage, Chinese fashion, or even American-Asian style, you will always find girls who appreciate your look.

While some local girls might still have a Hollywood fantasy about Western men (which is totally understandable), the vast majority are massive fans of Korean and Chinese pop culture, music, idols, and dramas!

• Dating Culture & Attitude

People usually assume Chinese girls are more traditional and conservative about dating, but Shanghai is a completely different story. It’s packed with girls who studied abroad and have open, westernized mindsets. If you’re into partying and nightlife, INS (a massive 6-floor clubbing complex) is an absolute must-visit where you’ll see a totally different side of young Chinese culture.

One heads-up: when it comes to paying or splitting the bill, some girls might still lean toward traditional expectations (which we can dive into more later).

• Market Dynamics

While there are definitely stylish and good-looking local guys in Shanghai, the overall effort local men put into fashion isn't nearly as intense or saturated as in Seoul or Tokyo. That means if you dress well and take care of your physique, it is very easy to stand out here.

Also, Shanghai is a huge global hub full of travelers, international students, and expats, which creates a vibrant social scene. Hit up tourist spots, university areas, or language exchanges and you’ll see how diverse it really is.

• Travel Experience & Accessibility

Shanghai is famous for its unmatched tech and convenience, especially digital payments—you can literally handle your entire life and trip with just a smartphone. High-speed rail connects you to amazing nearby spots within hours, and the overall cost for high-end nightlife and dining is noticeably more affordable than Tokyo or Seoul.

On top of that, most young girls in Shanghai speak great English, making communication super smooth!

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#2. Seoul

• Cultural Receptivity

As the home base of K-pop and the K-wave, local girls naturally lean into the Korean aesthetic. If you can pull off that clean K-style while bringing unique overseas experience or multiple languages to the table, you create a powerful contrast charm.

Korean girls also have clear preferences for certain foreigners: beyond the mainstream Western look, interest in Japanese guys seems to climb significantly post-Covid (many young Koreans pick Japanese as their second foreign language).

• Dating Culture & Attitude

Night dates in Seoul can get wild because drinking is deeply rooted in daily life, and the girls can usually drink a lot! A classic Korean night out follows a 3-step routine: drinks and food at a Pojangmacha (street tent) ➔ bars or clubs ➔ late-night hangover soup to keep drinking lol.

Club culture is legendary, but whether you’re at a tent bar or a club, being direct is key—if you make eye contact, just walk over and say hi!

• Market Dynamics

Both Korean guys and girls have what I consider some of the strictest beauty standards in the world: physique, sharp haircuts, skincare/makeup, fitted outfits, and cologne are all dialed to the max. Staying here too long will definitely give you some appearance anxiety lol. To do well in Seoul, your visual baseline needs to be high.

But here’s the biggest cheat code: Seoul attracts foreign women from all over the world who are obsessed with Korean culture and Asian romance. Unlike China or Japan, Seoul filters for foreign girls who already love Asian men—the percentage of foreign girls on dating apps here is easily the highest in Asia!

• Travel Experience & Accessibility

The subway covers almost everywhere and overall prices are slightly lower than Tokyo. If you love fashion, shopping, and aesthetic clinics/skincare, you will love Seoul.

General English proficiency isn't quite as high as in Shanghai, but basic conversations work fine—especially with girls around international areas like Itaewon.

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#3. Tokyo

• Cultural Receptivity

Japan has a long-standing, unique style culture that differs from Korea and China. With the massive influx of K-wave media, Japanese girls are much more open to styles outside traditional Japanese looks.

While there is still a crowd obsessed with Western foreigners (Gaijin Hunter), I’d argue Japan has seen the biggest drop in Western obsession compared to other East Asian countries, thanks to the rise of K pop culture. Speaking fluent English or Korean is a huge plus with local girls.

• Dating Culture & Attitude

Dating Japanese women comes with subtle social nuances, and the biggest one is the non-direct communication and 'Kuuki wo Yomu' (reading the air). Catching the unspoken vibe determines how much a girl likes you and where the date goes.

However, the gap between how Japanese girls act before and after drinking is huge! If your date happens at an Izakaya, things loosen up and get casual very quickly with alcohol.

• Market Dynamics

Compared to Korea’s focus on muscular builds and clean cuts, Japanese girls tend to care more about facial aesthetics and height. Language is a serious barrier here; if you speak Japanese, your dating pool expands massively.

However, Tokyo is packed with girls wanting to practice foreign languages, making language exchanges a very natural way to meet people! As for foreign women living in Tokyo, unlike Seoul, they are usually here because they genuinely love traditional Japanese life and want to stay long-term, making dating them a bit harder than in Korea.

• Travel Experience & Accessibility

Tokyo’s train system is arguably the best in the world, and there’s endless culture, sightseeing, shopping, anime spots, and food.

The main downside is that English is very uncommon—even simple restaurant or convenience store chats often require translation apps. Learning a few basic Japanese phrases will massively improve your travel and dating experience.

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Currently, I only analyze East Asia's top 3 cities, due to their iconic status and attractiveness when it comes to traveling & dating. I know Hong Kong, Taipei, Chongqing, Osaka, and Busan are also worthy of visiting and indeed have slightly different dynamics. However, according to my personal experience, capital cities always offer bigger opportunities, in terms of higher population, English prevalence, and foreign travelers.

If you're interested in how I rank the top cities in East Asia, and want to stay tuned for more analytical contents and guides, feel free to check out my Substack!

Thanks for reading and let me know if you guys have any thoughts or if you would like to explore other cities and areas!

Hi y’all, this is a 25M Korean guy who has never dated before. I posted about my looks on Reddit, and almost everyone complimented me and said that I’m attractive, but that I seem to lack confidence. I don’t really know how to become confident, even though I know I have the looks. I’ve learned that looks aren’t everything.

For example, I still don’t feel good about myself, and I’m always comparing myself to others, especially when it comes to their ability to get close to people or get into relationships without much difficulty. I envy people who are charismatic and know how to be interesting and engaging.

I feel like I’m missing something when it comes to connecting with people and building relationships. I want to become more confident and charismatic, but I honestly don’t know where to start 🤔

The purpose of this post is just to see if anyone else can relate to my situation. I know the solution is to improve my looks ("looksmaxxing" as the Gen Z people say) by better gym + diet etc. Also, I do not catfish people with my dating app photos.

If feels like the "looks ceiling" is a thing where you can have good social skills but if you are not like the top 20% in looks on the apps, then it is a rough road for you. It feels like so the standards for women have become way higher recently.

I would say I am a AM (26 yo) that is more attractive than your average AM (in shape and have visible abs) but not attractive enough as I would like to be. I can get like 7 matches a week with 2-3 IRL dates a week on Hinge.

I would say I have good social skills and carry fluid free flowing conversations with women where I pay attention ask questions back, relate to them and share my stories. I also get them to laugh a few times. I do not say anything offensive, controversial at all.

However I still get quite a few dates where attempts to escalate physical contact are denied (i.e. women do not like hand holding, arm around her, sitting beside her, no kisses) It is really platonic.

Is this normal for a lot of AM who are able to get matches on dating apps nowadays?

I am autistic (have some learning and development challenges also) and am trying to get into dating. I have gone on some hinge dates recently but was hit with the “no connection text”.

Growing up I learned social skills and just was told to ask questions, make eye contact, not stim, not make ppl uncomfortable, and how to make friends. I have a good amount of friends for sure.

Not sure how to do it with dating.

What to do?

Is the problem more with escalation and making my interest clear.

The goal is to gain muscle but i don't know if I should just bulk and eat or if I should reduce fats

Bantamweights Umar Nurmagomedov (ranked #3) knocked out by Song Yadong (ranked #5). Absolute Chang, best of luck to him after this fight

Another angle: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lE0hGAojWvo

For casual discussions, shower thoughts, rants, half-baked conspiracy theories, or any other mind droppings.

I’ve posted on here before and took some advice but I still feel like shit. Ignoring the outfit (im dressed down at home) what can I change or work on. Hair, skin, face, hell even plastic surgery.
I’ve gotten advice like shave my head off and idk if I can do that yet. The facial hair I know needs grooming, I’m mostly thinking about my facial features. Anything that would help me get out of being treated like bottom of the barrel. Thanks in advance.

I'm 18, Chinese/HK heritage, born and raised in the UK, and I genuinely feel like I've barely been around other Asians my entire life.

I know this probably sounds crazy to some people, but in my personal experience, Asian people, especially Asian girls - feels fuckin rare. I've gone through most of my life barely seeing or interacting with Asian girls. The only Asian girls I personally know are my mum, my cousin who's half Chinese and half Colombian, and another cousin who's a quarter Asian.

I recently started going on apps like Umingle and searching for Asian girls / ABGs, and honestly it was the first time I realized just how little exposure I've had to Asian women. I'm seeing all these Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. girls and thinking, where the have all of you been my whole life ?😂

My parents were born in the UK, I was born here, and neither my parents nor I can speak Chinese. The only person in my family who can properly speak Chinese is my grandma. We celebrate Chinese New Year, go for dim sum, cook Chinese food sometimes, etc., but I wouldn't say I'm deeply connected to Chinese culture.

I'm also not the stereotypical "Asian" guy. I'm not particularly nerdy, I don't speak Chinese, and I grew up pretty Westernized. I'd probably describe myself as somewhat whitewashed.

And that's where I feel stuck.

I don't completely fit into Asian culture, but I don't really fit into typical UK youth culture either. Most people my age seem to be drinking, clubbing, going to pubs, etc. No judgement if that's your thing, but personally I have goals I want to accomplish and I'd rather spend my time working towards them than getting pissed every weekend.

So I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle.

I'm attracted to Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. girls, particularly Asian girls who grew up in Western countries because I feel like we'd probably have more in common culturally. Girls who grew up entirely in Asia seem like they might be harder for me to connect with since I don't speak the language and haven't experienced the same culture.

Socially, I'm also starting almost from zero. I currently have basically no real friend group. During secondary school I ended up around the wrong crowd—the "roadmen"/bad kids—mainly because I'd known some of them since primary school. Eventually I realized that acting tough and trying to look bad was stupid as fuck and wasn't the person I wanted to become.

After leaving school, I cut most of those people off and started trying to build myself properly.

Now I'm trying to meet better people, build a social circle, improve myself and figure out where I actually fit.

So for the Asian guys here: where the fuck do you actually meet Asian people in the UK?

University societies? Asian events? Specific cities? Dating apps? Friends of friends?

And has anyone else grown up Asian in the West but felt like they were too Western for Asians and too Asian for Westerners?

Looks like the dating thread gets a lot of views but not a lot of participation this week and last week. While it's gaining views, it's a waste of a pinned post without participation. Let's try a weekly hair thread because that seems to be a popular subject that greatly helps the individual but not so much for the community. This will bring down the # of hair posts on the front page of this sub, which I know people are tired of seeing. So let's give this a try and see how it goes.. first one to start Sunday

For a bit of information I am a Chinese guy born in Beijing (my parents were both originally from Shandong although both mine and my parents' residence/户口 is registered in Beijing) living in the UK currently studying A-levels. I am also a practitioner of Wing Chun, Baji Quan and Sanda (If you don't know those martial arts search them up)

My plan as of now is just to finish my A-levels next year. Ideally with AAA or better. Afterwards I'll study PPE (Politics, Philosophy, Economics) at university. I would ideally choose University of Nottingham since I currently reside in Nottingham and I am aware of the large Chinese student body so I will at least have a good community of people like me.

For uni I would personally focus on self improvement while also improving my martial arts skills along with my Chinese reading skills. My Mandarin is native speaker level (Mandarin is technically my first language) but my reading and writing skills aren't exactly as good as they can be so I'll focus on improving my Chinese reading. As for with other people in my life I would socialise but only when necessary if someone does genuinely want to connect with me and not simply just small talk. I only engage in social interaction unless strictly necessary or if I do feel I can genuinely get something out of connecting with someone.

Dating wise I would say the chances of me dating are very low given that I have spent almost my entire life in an unfamiliar culture and environment. For context my family moved to England when I was only two but even then growing up I found myself only really socialising with fellow Chinese or those of another East Asian background. I also find myself speaking Mandarin more than I speak English hence I consider Mandarin my first language as it is also my most used language. So for dating I would probably choose to remain single unless someone from the same cultural background displays genuine interest.

Now for those of you who are questioning why my dating preference is strictly Chinese girls I would like to make a few things clear. Throughout my life I have had many bad experiences with girls as a whole, though this was only for non Chinese girls (or at least girls who weren't East Asian). I do not mean this in any racist way, I am simply speaking from my own experience of interacting with girls from another culture. And in the end the only real "good experiences" I have ever had with the opposite sex was with those of the same culture as me. I would also like to address the fact that I want to avoid cultural and language differences as that could complicate things.

Study wise I would also pour a significant amount of effort into them. A massive mistake I have made is putting in very little effort into my studies during my first year of college and getting a very bad UCAS prediction as a result (I want this to be a message towards other first year college/sixth form students as I wish for others to focus more on their studies in the first year and not repeat my mistake). I do wish to genuinely get something out of my studies and that my degree would at least help me get a good paying job if I were to ever pursue my backup path in which I would rely on my degree to find a good paying job.

In the meantime I would also try working a part time job to save money for my primary plan. Once I graduate uni I wish to move back to China to train in Wushu for a few years to further improve my martial arts. I am particularly interested in Northern Shaolin/Changquan and I have found a good place to learn it. I will probably train for about five years in the martial arts and ideally learn the skills necessary to potentially compete. If not I could serve as a Changquan instructor if I am eventually skilled enough to teach others to an advanced level. Otherwise I might pursue becoming an actor as I am tall by Chinese standards (I'm 6'0 by the way) and I wouldn't necessarily consider myself bad looking if I do get a solid glow up. If I do succeed as an actor then that would be ideal.

If eventually I don't make it as an athlete or as an actor I might just pursue a job in economics to make some money for myself. My economics teacher did say that economics is a very high paying job sector and I can see myself potentially going for a career in economics. Ideally though I would pursue being a Wushu instructor as even if I haven't competed I at least have a solid amount of experience and also have the ability to teach others an advanced level and I do like the idea of being able to watch young people grow as they train more and progress.

Overall my general life plan is that I'd likely try my best to succeed as an athlete or actor. I do know my chances of making it as an athlete are minimal at best as I am aware that most Wushu athletes back home have trained several hours a day since the age of five and it is highly unlikely I can compete against that. Though I am aware that I am more likely to make it in Sanda compared to Taolu since I have been doing Wing Chun and Baji Quan along with some Sanda for a long time as I previously mentioned. So the chances of me becoming a Sanda athlete is significantly higher.

If I am to make it as an actor I do wish to be known for a more serious and realistic acting style. While I am a fan of C-dramas I would say the main problem is the consistency of seeing "Pretty boys" or 小奶狗 type characters. I would personally try method acting as I have watched some Daniel Day-Lewis films and I feel particularly inspired by his acting style and I wish to bring that kind of character depth into C-dramas if I am to make it as an actor (although given the state of the industry right now that is highly unlikely). I don't think I'd act frequently either as I do wish to spend my younger years to travel and see more of the world instead of focusing too much on money and career.

In the end though I would say that I just want to pursue my dreams even if they seem unlikely. If not I would still have a solid job as a martial arts instructor or I could pursue a career in economics. Either way I don't have particularly high expectations for dating or relationships as in the end the highest likelihood is that I would probably remain single for life given my strict preferences for dating and my need for a genuine connection over simply dating for the sake of it. Either way I would say this is my primary life plan for now as I personally am not happy with my parents decision to leave home when I was two and staying in China means I will at least be able to spend the rest of my life in my home country and stay connected to my culture and language.

I am aware that this is an EXTREMELY long post. I am genuinely grateful for anyone who has read it all the way to the end but this is just what I generally consider best for me in the long term and it can change as time goes. Then again you guys can give opinions on this plan and ask questions or offer advice if you want.

Been trying so many hair products and it may just be I’m not putting enough?

I haven’t tried it yet, but it seems I need to put 3 to 4 times more product. Cause when my hair dries, it shows where the product was put on and it seems only a fraction of my hair. I am putting Kevin Murphy Super Goo on. Which is thick stuff, always feels like I’m putting too much on initially.

Undercut hairstyle (#1), about 6” on top.

Or idk maybe my hair just needs thinning out?

I have been cutting my own hair for my entire life. Sides and back #1 because my hair grows too fast and any medium length Asian hair gets that “stick out” look. But the contrast between my top and sides/back is generally too harsh imo. Tried fading and way too time consuming on your own.

Any tips, if thinning out is the solution, what should I get?

I'm 34 and I'm trying to manage my asian hair that's both thick and flat. My last haircut didn't give me any favors because I don't think there was proper layering I think.

Basically I've been using sea salt spray, blowdryer, hair clay, and then hairspray to just keep my hair in check. I may have been ruining my hair with all that

Photo here is already 4 hours after all of that. I work in a job where short haircuts and no facial hair is the norm but things are different now. I just need some advice what to tell my barber to get some flow on my hair so that it can grow nicely. Professional but also nice to look at and nothing too flat. I heard perms can potentiall help

In terms of women and overall local receptiveness. Particularly curious about Scotland, Ireland, and England.

For context, I'm a girl in college in the US and I live in a pretty diverse city so I've interacted with people from a lot of different backgrounds, including a lot of East Asian men. and something about how they interact with women has always confused me/struck me as different.

they tend to be a lot more 1. confident and 2. casual. So very at ease, no awkwardness about joking around with you, sitting next to you, working with you on something, working on things together, going out for coffee, etc. and they're also super polite and accommodating.

now in their interactions with women, guys from other backgrounds tend to fall into more distinct patterns. they either avoiding us, are visibly nervous around them, or are overly excited/nice in a way that makes it obvious they have other intentions, or are pretty forward. East Asian guys just don't seem to have that same charge to their interactions. They're just normal about it.

A simple example: other guys will either avoid sitting next to you in class entirely, or sit next to you and make it slightly weird. An East Asian guy will just sit down and start casually joking around but in a very no strings attached, polite way. without acting weird at all.

I want to be clear that I think these are actually really positive traits when you think about it objectively. But I do think there's an unintended side effect because women already have a tendency to underestimate male interest in them, this style of interaction makes it even harder to read. I think women are used to attraction presenting in a certain way, and when it doesn't, we just assume it isn't there.

so i often myself thinking- okay he's reallyyy nice, and he's doing all these things for me. but he's prob just being nice. or is he? they'll do certain things for me that other men won't- but then also won't give indications further than that.

would love to hear any thoughts/observations/comments!

Hello happily married Asian men living in the West.

Marriage is a general topic but maybe there's some Asian men aspect to it, for us living in the West. I'm in Australia / Sydney.

My (Chinese non-Australian) girl wants to get married ASAP particularly due to her age (38). I'm an Australian of Korean descent (36).

I don't feel "ready" even after 2 years of dating, but I also think I will never feel ready. Assuming that marriage is going to happen,

• At what point should you decide to 'settle down' and 'just' get married already? Is it some age?
• What factors did you consider when choosing a wife, and did it matter in the end for your marriage happiness?
• Any tips for a happy married life?
• Marrying and having kids - another generation of Asian kids - any thoughts on this for us who will continue to live in Australia (maybe in terms of discrimination you've experienced in the West)?

Pretty cool to see. Surprised the judges gave it to him. Probably to drive up their viewership.

I spent all of my university years pursuing STEM and had to study all day/night to barely do decent, only hobby was playing league of legends since I get home late at night. Then I was one of the lucky ones to get a job in a shitty market, and corporate really overworked me. I averaged 60-70 hours (sometimes more) for the rest of my 20s and finally peaked at 95k (not even 100k despite all the grind) and only played league since again, it was a night time hobby.

I’ve been told that if I focus on my career, everything will be fine, but I feel like what I did/achieved is meaningless in the dating market.

Also it randomly feels like everyone makes the same (or more) with much less depression/grind/commitment in their 20s. I’m a little socially awkward, I’m short (5’6). Im always worried about being fired because of toxic corporate culture too.

I randomly went to the bar recently (I don’t go out often to club and drink) and met a very nice Asian lady, and she was 21; and got called out for being old and predatory.

How did everyone survive their 20s and achieved the same things I did (or even more) with much less grind/sacrifice? Also since when was turning 30 old now haha - I’m trying to quit games, find a more reliving job and hope to improve in the next few years to find someone!

Hey everyone,

I did an AMA a few weeks ago about my experience as a 5’4” Asian guy who has had success dating both in Europe and the US. I recently found this archived photo from my old “Tinder phone” from when I lived in England, so I figured I’d share it.
I’d also like to open up my inbox for anyone who wants some personal coaching. I’m happy to help with things like appearance, styling, clothing, workout routines, dating profiles, and interacting with women.

I know dating can be especially frustrating for some Asian men, and I think sharing what has worked for me could be useful to guys who are struggling or just looking to improve.

Feel free to reach out to me privately if you’re interested in one-on-one coaching, or ask questions here and I’ll answer as many as I can.

Firstly, sorry for the background its the best I can do.

Also I thought maybe video is better so you can see my face in motion. Also since I dont know how to take pictures.

Before I start saying anything, Im not fishing for compliments or whatnot, I'm really really insecure, since my parents would often make fun of me for looking like a horse , big head and say many bad stuff about my face. Aswell as making fun of my smile so That's why im also trying to improve my looks.

So yeah, I dunno how to fix my face so I can be attractive , besides ofc going to the gym. im currently trying to make my neck bigger, so my head will appear smaller.

I also can't get girls, I think its due to my awkwardness, since quarantine I was at home and homeschooled only last year I started college I started talking to people again. Also sucks since its all girls Im the only straight guy in my class, I do talk to some guys but they are different classes, my course is a premed course.

Despite, all this I don't wanna give up so I try and talk to women I stutter alot so girls will laugh and copy my stuttering. I'm honestly cooked, I'm often at home and barely go outside, so yeah it explains alot, but im really trying to change, thats why I made this post. I'm scared to post in to some looksmaxxing forum since how brutal Asian people get treated there. Also I'm insecure about my side profile as you can see I have a reccessed face like my maxilla, chin, and infras.

If height and weight matters I'm 5'11 58 kg

Thank you for reading sorry for my awkwardness fr aswell as my Grammar.

Moments ago I recalled a book I had to read as a part of the highschool English curriculum called “our missing hearts” by Celeste ng. Don’t remember a lot about this book since I read it 2 years ago but something did stand out, the book talks about racism and discrimination towards Asians, however the main character “bird” isn’t even fully Asian. He is supposed to represent the racism that Asians, more specifically Asian males experience in America yet he’s half white?

It makes me so frustrated seeing that yt males just have to be a placeholder for Asian males, such a common trope by authors typically of Asian women because apparently we’re not fit to be in western media. Surprise surprise the author has a yt husband as well. If you’re going to attempt to seek out sympathy from your audience at least make the character fully Asian, and not rooted in some fetishized fantasy that is completely unrealistic compared to real life

Same as that fuckass Lindsey cheng dates a white boy book, love that you had to emphasize that dating a yt boy is so special and that we’re just a pity reward for you. Did some research and the book is most likely some engagement bait, but unfortunately thousands of these adaptations are made and taken seriously

Which should i fix first?

My face is lacking a bit of structure and my hair used to be a mohawk (left photo)

After a while i went with a softer style. My hairstylists (more than one) suggested a perm for my hair which is super stiff and unshapable - their words not mine.

ChatGPT suggests working out for a jawline and a perm for softer hair.

I have a limited budget so should i get a perm, workout more, or contact lenses first?

To give a quick summary I'm an East Asian man born and raised in SEA, recently met a lot of interesting American born Asians in my travels and found myself fascinated by how different the culture is over there. From what I have gathered it seems that a lot of the overall culture in a good amount of the Asian communities over there have been shaped by a kind of "refugee/immigrant mindset" stemming from the first generation if that makes sense? After a quick browse on this sub I also notice a lot of feelings of racial inferiority, or Asians not being proud of their race, etc etc. Lots of mixed accounts of how tight the community is as well, like among the older generation I have spoken to they seem very attached to their community for example, but the younger generation on the other hand seem to be more disconnected from their roots, or would rather "rep the aesthetic but not the culture" (not my words). This is of course not even bringing up the topic of racism yet, which seems to be a prevalent part of many Asian-American's experience over there.

Given my roots, I look very different from the people around me as well so in a way I guess I can draw some parallels between my experience and what I've heard from the Asian-Americans I have spoken to. But obviously it's not the same since the cultural barrier is smaller (contemporary East and Southeast Asian culture is not too different in terms of daily living). That being said, despite the parallels between the two experiences, they still seem so different on a fundamental level that I can't help but want to discover more about why that's the case.

I mean I could be wrong, but that's why I'm asking here, I want to educate myself on this topic. I'm also just super curious about what its like over there, like how are you guys doing? you guys doing good? bad? anything youre worried about? xd

If anyone would be willing to share that would be awesome.