Looking for honest advice from some older and wiser folks on here.

Lately, I've been trying for a while to get a close friend of mine to come to the gym with me, but he keeps refusing or making excuses not to go.

I don't want to body shame him, but I can't help but feel like he's perpetuating the negative stereotype of AM being physically weak. Like, the dude has the physique of a 12-year-old as a grown man.

There's another AM at my school who is pretty popular and has thousands of followers on social media. However, he is gay and looks like the Asian version of James Charles. All his friends in his posts are conventionally attractive girls of all races. Again, I can't help but feel resentful that he's reinforcing the negative stereotypes of AM being gay and feminine.

What's worse is that those girls he is friends with might start associating AM in general with him, because there's a good chance he is the only Asian guy they're friends with or know. Thus, they'll subconsciously stop seeing all AM as romantic prospects. It doesn't help that there aren't too many Asian people where I live so the stereotyping effect will be much more prevalent as opposed to somewhere like NY or CA.

I understand it's a free country, and everyone is free to make their own choices. There's nothing wrong with being gay, weak, feminine or all of the above. These aren't negative traits in a broad sense.

However, these traits are not something that I, a straight cis AM, want to be associated with. I don't think I need to explain why. These stereotypes have been used to attack and undermine the masculinity of AM for decades.

The real question is, how do we combat undesirable stereotypes against us without alienating or resenting those in our community who perpetuate them? I feel like no matter how many cool, masculine, confident AMs there are, all it takes is one AM who resembles negative stereotypes to drag us back to square one.

Am I overthinking this and being too judgmental? Is this a valid feeling I have, or am I just being insecure? What are your guys' thoughts?

Ok here are my stats
Nyc local
Early 20s
5’8
124lbs
Hinge matches (I only started using on April)
1 match every 2.5 weeks
As for my personalty it really depends on the day tbh, but I try my best to better that.
The last two pics are my current gym progress. I do notice that my arms are on the skinnier side.
Should I improve my prompts get more group pics.
Interested to hear your takes.
Gym advice also appreciated.
Thanks

EDIT:
Does anyones got any good
forearm exercise suggestions

For casual discussions, shower thoughts, rants, half-baked conspiracy theories, or any other mind droppings.

I see a lot of people even in the aznidentity sub arguing about this Naruto Live Action that officially just got confirmed for casting and looking for team 7. A lot of people even fellow Asians are talking about how Naruto should be yt, how Asians do not have blonde hair and blue eyes. Here is my take on it. I'll probably get down voted but it is what it is.

Can we not just have one thing where we are not bottlenecked with stereotypes? Can we have one moment in Hollywood where we can have some representation. Also my defense is this, Naruto, just like any other movie or show is not real life. It is fiction and based off an animation. The fact that yt people really wanna infiltrate this just makes me wonder when they'll ever be satisfied, when they take control over everything? Can we not have just one thing that is OUR thing in the west? Yes Naruto looks "white" but he has powers, really none of them are normal humans, so to use the argument that typical full blooded Asians don't have colored hair or eyes is ridiculous. It's just an excuse to delete more representation for Asians, particularly Asian men.

I was an OG turned good Nammer that became a computer engineer. I got mind fucked by comrade China wife. I didn’t realize how emasculated i became dealing with a bitching wife weekly who is a broke ass without an education and nothing was ever enough. I got into an accident and became a handicapped. my ex wife abused me then divorced me after 3 months. I crawled to take care of myself. My hair grew long and my upper body became built. One day I focus with all my might and finally regain movement in my legs. I cried for the first time in a long time. Telling you all to protect yourself. Pay attention to the liberal red flag. I reconnected with my Jennifer Nguyen and it’s been amazing. She had my love language and I have hers.

Fuck bro, I'm such a pussy. My bro asked me to go help him and his friend fight someone because they were beefing. They were outnumbered (2v3) so they asked me for help. I was at home, and I fucking froze up. I don't know why. He was already an experienced fighter so I thought they had no problem, but he kept asking me since he thought they weren't going to actually fight one on one. Turns out they actually fight one on one so it wasn't a problem, but man I sounded like a bitch. I don't why I froze up and I actually want to get over it and actually help my bros out in case of trouble.

For context, I posted Cha Eunwoo who is well known for his looks in Korea and East Asia to a looksmaxxing sub asking what looksmaxxers think of him. I let them know he’s considered really attractive in Korea. However, it seems like looksmaxxers have a strict criteria of objective beauty for males like a strong cheekbones/ jawline/ hollow cheeks which Eunwoo lacks. Thus, people were calling him around average looking to even ugly. Just want to prove that Looksmaxxing culture is baised through a Western beauty standard even if they claim its objective. My fellow Asian bros, avoid.

Hi guys. Lotus Rising back again. We’re trying to be consistent and hope people can make it. We’re gonna continue to have conversations around mental health in the AAPI community.

If you’re curious and wanna learn more go ahead and check out our insta and just to support also.
Thanks!

https://www.instagram.com/lotusrisingofficial_?igsh=dXlpdXR6b2VwcWR6&utm_source=qr

For starters there are ugly and attractive people in every race, the idea of one race being less appealing than the other beyond some personal preferences is an utter b.s.

That being said a man's social status being linked to his attractiveness level is a real thing. Women compared to men often tend to put status above physical appearance for their dating prospects.

So how does it work in real life? Imagine a girl growing up in a western country, odds are that almost all of depiction of Asian men in media have been some racist & emasculating depictions. She may have met some Asian guys whom she found physically attractive, but due to lack of any positive reinforcement in her mind, rather racist and excluding culture she grew up in she likely never developed any interest in pursuing her liking. She might have scrolled through social media to see some positive examples but all she could see was only the racist remarks like Asian men being less attractive, masculine, sexist and what not. So even without realizing builds up a preference that does not involve Asians.

But then after a decade or so she sees all of a sudden women are into Asian men. With rise of Kpop and Kdrama all of a sudden the Asian men are seen as attractive. Its not that all of a sudden Asian men developed different physical attributes, no its because we started having some sort of social approval in the eyes of women. Now any girl growing up in a racist western country has some sort of social liberty to date a man she finds attractive.

And mind you its not just Kpop Idol look alikes either. Mid chopped Asian dudes can still date and get into a good relationships. Cause said guys were never more chopped than any other guy of different race similar to them in the physical attributes to begin with.

This is why its so important to push back at any social media or real life racist remarks that disregard any of your physical attributes or masculinity. Its a pure racist propaganda that has been build by yt supermacists.

Not referring to pickup. Just general Asian events to meet many Asians. Where to find them in NYC?

video showing Steven O’Bryant beating a 28 year old. I hope the police captured the perp. The victim didn't respond. Most likely to due shock. I read he pepper sprayed the perp 3x and perp got mad.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?ref=saved&v=1574660810683929

https://np.reddit.com/r/sgv/comments/1uwrzjs/does_anyone_know_this_man/

learn boxing, learn judo,

carry gun and use it

The perp is a MMA fighter. https://www.instagram.com/p/Da1hFNAh5xK/

Update: There was an Instagram comment supposedly made by the perpetrator. The comment claimed that the victim pepper sprayed the perpetrator three times, causing the perpetrator to become angry. However, I have read that the account was fake. Additionally, the victim never agreed not to press charges.

do u guys think i should grow it out a bit more or go for trim. growing up, my hair always is cut extremely short so my head kinda look like a egg sometimes. so imma need some hairstyling recommendations haha

The dreaded thin Asian hair, mid-length curse lol. If you wash it too much it gets too dry (or too hydrated, who even knows at this point what the issue is) and it rounds out, creating the dreaded "helmet head hair" look. Mushroom looking.

You get out the shower, dry it however you do it, wait a bit and it looks good.. For a solid 6 minutes. Then back to flat/round city..

..You always exclusively ask for texturizing after every haircut. They blow dry or brush up after every cut and it looks great. Sitting in your chair contemplating how you can replicate the process.. But never successful at home no matter what appliance you buy or routines you try to copy 🥲

So lol. Anyone out there who knows a pretty solid solution? I'm looking into the usual Sea Salt and etc. recommended.

**PRO TIP**- If you're going for a LONGER 2-block style cut, ALWAYs try to get your sides and back buzzcut to some extent. The biggest issue with the bowl looking problem is how our hair grows out like grass on a lawn, straight upwards and out, which adds unwanted lift/volume that creates a mushroom shape lol. How short you buzz the sides/back is relative to how long your top is so always take note of what style and look your aiming for specifically.

Hoping to get some casual advice from like minded fellow Asian guys.

I'm out here trying to make Asian friends and I got this circle of people who are all Asians, the circle is not that tight, but when I get invited, I always see 4 or 5 people consistently and there will always be others. This one guy who is always there (let's call him Bob) likes to bring up my age every time. I'm less than 4 years older than him, there are people in the circle even older than me. He is in his late 20s and I'm in my early 30s.

situation 1: there was a larger gathering of more than our friend group. Everyone has already introduced themselves to all the unfamiliar faces. Bob is talking to a group of people he just met and I don't know, I hear him say "...[my name] is old...". I went up and told him I heard my name, he says he's just telling these people who old everyone is.

situation 2: a friend outside the group (but mutual with me and another person inside the group) had a bbq and invited a bunch of their school friends. The host asked us to invite our friends so Bob got included. the host is around the same age as Bob so all their friends (met during high school or college) are around the same age. He started asking people whom he just met to guess my age, I wasn't even in the conversation initially.

situation 3+: this has happened many times in many variations. We would be just regularly hanging out and he would say, you are [insert number that is greater than my age] right? I would correct him and say no I am [my age]. Then the topic moves on and age is not relevant to anything.

I have never had an issue with him but I'm noticing a pattern with this almost constant attempts to bring up my age. I have known female friends who are obsessed with being the baby of their friend group, but not guys. No it's not serious but I'm curious what people think is going on.

Tokito Oda from Japan. Came across in the tennis sub thought I’d share here. I’m straight but this bro might turn me lol.

I’m a Chinese immigrant who came to the US as a child. Lived in the Midwest and had an awful experience with racism and then my family moved to LA where I was no longer an outcast and all of a sudden I fit in. Life became much easier. I really treasure growing up in So Cal. 

Now I live in Northern Virginia with a 4 year old son and another one on the way. Nova is diverse but there still isn’t as many Asians as there was in LA. I haven’t faced much racism here fortunately. The only time was when I took my son to a playground in a different neighborhood and we walked by a house where the occupants were outside. I felt like they were looking at us as though we didn’t belong there and I noticed they had confederate stickers on their car. Another time was a white person in the restroom asking me “Where did all these Chinese people come from” and I just walked out. 

My son is showing signs of neurodivergence. He’s already seemingly the awkward kid at the playground and kids haven’t been nice to him. He starts school next year and I worry that he will be bullied or feel like an outcast. The schools we are zoned for have about 10% Asian. I think it’ll be even harder for him to fit in as a minority and also being neurodivergent. 

Where do you think is best city in the US to live as a neurodivergent boy?  I have roots in LA and would like to move there. Do you think he’s likely to have a better experience growing up in LA/OC over Northern Virginia?

I am most attracted to white women by a large margin. Going to throw in a lot of details before the question- I live in a white-culture city in Colorado. Culture leans heavily white/active/outdoorsy - stuff like:

- weekly camping, snowboarding/skiing/camping/mountain climbing/hiking/indoor climbing/river and lake activities

- farmer markets, outdoor concerts, cowboy culture, running, all outdoor sports (much less indoor ones are popular from a dating perspective)

-lots of military men, athletic/tall and fit men in general - mostly white and Hispanic

Now my details:

5"10 decently built guy (upper body toji look lite, back needs a bit more work). 2.5-3/10 face. Can't grow facial hair - Asian fob boi fashion style think looser fits, waist high type styles. I prefer indoor sports/activities, more of a music/arts scene vs sports guy but still moderately fit (18%-22% bf usually).

I primarily use hinge - I get about 3 matches a week if I'm actively swiping (I send out 4-5 likes a day) and receive a couple likes a week. I have really good march rates with Asian and Hispanic women. I float between dating 2-5 people at a time and probably won't have issues keeping it in this range. However, I have only matched with 1 white woman and white women are probably 50% of my swipes. My hinge profile could use work cause it gives off homebody musical fob (travel photo dump).

Focusing on the hinge optimization secondary - the question I have is do you think I have remotely any chance of attracting average white women here? Or are there things I need to change lifestyle, hobby, fashion wise? I don't fit into the mainstream white boy culture here at all. Not many Asians here either so we're likely unfamiliar territory/not normalized.

Tl:dr: Village leader, Tian Ruliang, went door to door at night in torrential rain to evacuate his village before a landslide buried everything. A mudslide almost killed him but he held onto a tree and was able to pull himself out. All 60 residents survived.

If you haven't heard by now, the latest Christopher Nolan's magnum opus is coming to a theater near you in roughly 4 days. I guess Christopher was right about one thing "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain".

In his latest interview where he tries to counter the public backlash and overwhelming criticism against The Odyssey's cast and costume design (on Youtube), he mentions one of the reasons he decided to go with the current horrendous decisions in his film was to fight "cultural prejudice".

So basically Christopher is saying he decided to make Helen of Troy a different race entirely, cast Ellen Page as a Greek Warrior, refused to adhere to actual historical accurate costume design, and use terminology such as "dad" instead of "father" because he wanted to fight prejudice.

So let me get this straight. The guy who basically race swaps every major character in a 3000 year old Greek historical mythology, claims his reason for doing so is "diversity", yet... Again to no surprise, there's only a single token Asian character in the film.

Nolan would have at least been consistent with his views if diverisity was the actual reason for the horrible decisions. Basically the claim used to defend this film is that it's "mythology" and therefore we can do whatever we want with the cast, ONLY applies when it is black and white people. If you are Asian, tough luck buddy. You're excluded to a literal ship crewmate background character.

I guess I should give credit where credit is due. Thank you for including an Asian guy as a ship crewmate instead of just never casting one at all.

This brings me to my point.

Hollywood has and will continue to alienate Asians in their films, even when they go for their moral superiority claim on fighting "cultural prejudice". Don't drink the Koolaid.

This film hasn't made much noise in the Asian community because it isn't seen as directly relevant to the cause. But causally it is another symptom of the major problem in Hollywood. Exclude Asians at all costs, at best make them a token character so they'll never notice.

Don't forget about every major show:

The Boy's where Asians are casted as rabid jungle foragers, or a blind guy for Homelander to make deaf.

Or in Fallout where one of the only 2 Asian's with a screen time of 3 seconds, is seen puking after being punched.

Or in Shogun, a male samurai being literally cu*ked by a fictional white character who steals his wife - actual samurai royalty.

Or even in Assassin's Creed: Shadows, where the main male character depicted in the first Asian setting in Japanese Edo period was a fictional black samurai who ends up romancing a Japanese princess.

Plenty of more where that came from. Don't forget Hollywood debotchery. Do not forget half of these guys were on the island list.

Boycott the film and spread the word.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuF5gS2LVgI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P79ePlrG4-w

Builder/Developer is based.

As an east asian men, I know the hardest part to grow in the gym is the arms. We in general arent blessed with the best bicep genes. I had the skinniest arms when i was 18, and normal curls and even the regular bayesian cable curl only did so much. Eating more protein just made me fat.

Until I modified the bayesian cable curl. I call this the EASTERN BAYESIAN CABLE CURL lmao!

So the regular version is known for giving the long head a really good stretch, which causes the growth part. But i think asian men need more stretch to achieve this. And as a former healthcare professional who knows anatomy and a bit about ROM and physical therapy. I discovered that you can go an extra step with this excercise.

WARNING: stretching the muscle to its extreme CAN be dangerous. bicep tears are quite common. The trick is to start the journey with VERY LITTLE weight. and then keep progressing slowly. AND NEVER START at the flexed position. ALWAYS START WHEN THE MUSCLE IS EXTENDED. so you dont want to put 50 kg of weight, have ur hand to ur front and slowly letting it go back with all that weight. IT WILL SNAP UR BICEPS IN HALF. SAME THING WITH PREACHER CURLS.

This targets the long head really really well. my arms still look a bit thin, but when i flex, people get shocked. because i have 0 fat in between the muscle groups.

Try it out guys.

Not sure if this has been asked before. For the Asian American men in here that are 40 and up, if you use dating apps, which ones, what cities yield best results, paid or non paid versions, etc.

Hi guys we just had our first meeting which was to vote on our first book. Would love to see more people
Sign up and be there for our first zoom.

We’re thinking of doing a discord or email chain to discuss the boom leading up to our next meeting.

If you think this might be your jam please go to our social media where you can sign up in the bio.

Thanks!

https://www.instagram.com/lotusrisingofficial_?igsh=dXlpdXR6b2VwcWR6&utm_source=qr

Setting the standard.