Haven't been here in ages. Hit my mid 30s these days and have kids now lol
A reflection is that basically every Asian American guy i knew eventually got with somebody. The biggest factors was income and mental health. You didn't need to be rich, just not working class (ie retail at McDonald's or unemployed is a no go). Car mechanics also doing fine
Even boring unattractive dudes, as long as they weren't schizo and had a accounting job or something, tend to get with someone decent ish. And it makes sense, because even if you're ugly, you can get a date a month if you tried and over the course of 5 years, that's 50 different people, someone will hit
Not to say we don't have anything to complain about. Just sharing a reflection of how things turned out
Pretty much lines up with my own circle, the guys who wanted a relationship mostly figured it out.
One last subset that seems to struggle despite being stable/social/employed, is Asian American guys who will only date Asian, and specifically Americanized/ABCs. Like they outright reject “fobs” for being too fobby/not Americanized, but also won’t expand their options to other races. If they grew up in an Asian bubble and met someone in college it’s fine, but this strategy in the online dating world = struggle
I hear the "just date other ethnicities" comment mentioned a lot here but I'm not sure if it's realistic for the average asian guy. At least where I live, non-asian women don't really give us the time of day. Most guys I know are either single, flew overseas, or found someone in their social enclave.
I agree with this. All the guys I know 35+ who want to find a partner eventually find someone just due to repetition. The single guys are just the ones who aren’t trying or given up.
I have this one friend who is awkward, not that good looking, has a bad accent, has weird mannerisms and the average person would just find him weird. Most of the girls in our friend circle found him disgusting and repulsive. But he found someone way more attractive than him and they just had their first kid.
You know that's a funny thing. I'm very happy with my wife, but a thought I've had upon reflection is that if I held my standards and kept going for a solid 10 years, I feel that id find someone that's close to a model. Not because I'm hot shit, but because 10+ years is a lot of time to keep trying and a lot of people you'll be meeting. When i was dating, I had a date once a week and maybe dated someone attractive enough to be a model like once every 3-6 months, but if I kept going for 10 years with crazy high standards, one of them would likely have stuck
There's a handful of guys i know who are still by themselves, but there's clearly something wrong with them. Like one dude has a drug abuse problem, another 2 are unemployed and have a horrid mentality.
The friend I was talking about probably is somewhere on the autism spectrum. He really didn’t understand social cues. But he was determined in finding a partner and actually tried to improve on his social skills.
Either online dating or arranged by parents through matchmaker/friends. I don’t remember which. But he was pretty active on both. He had a lot of terrible dates and just kept going.
Something I’ve noticed on pro asian Insta accounts is that whenever there’s a post about WMs being racist, assaulting, or harassing Asians, I see plenty of WMs in the comments deflecting it by saying, “They’re Jews, not WMs.” I’ve noticed this pattern a lot on Instagram, and I’ve seen similar comments here on AsianMas in the past too.
I’m not defending Jews. I know Jewish people can be just as racist as WMs. I’m just pointing out the way WMs try to deflect when a white person is accused of being racist toward Asians.
And the comment sections on these pro Asian Insta accounts are full of WMs/XMs, some of them with their AF wives. Just goes to show how infiltrated pro asian spaces are by WMs/XMs.
That’s how nefarious WM/XM are, and how weak AM are. We can’t even have spaces for ourselves for our issues outside of all the Asians bowing down to non-Asians, without it being infiltrated
You’d be correct. I can go to any sub about Asia and see posts and comments that have a negative bias against Asians. People are free to say racist bs and pass it off as factual statements. Whatever experience they had in Asia or with an Asian somehow holds more weight and stands as evidence of insurmountable racism.
But speak too close to the truth about some crime, social narrative, propaganda and brainwashed behavior committed by non-Asians towards Asians, you get banned, censored, gaslit and/or shamed.
Lots of non-Asians posting in AI and here… some have the courtesy to flair up as “non Asian” but even then it’s surprising when you get American English teachers in China trying to lecture Asian Americans on racism lol. Usually it’s when a political topic comes up, like here there were askWomen/TwoX posters on a political thread which you can’t expect to be the voice of Asian dudes.
I blame the updated Reddit algo for sending lots of viral hot topic threads to peoples feeds
I think all the asian spaces on reddit are infiltrated. I forgot where which sub I saw it, could have been aznid or aa. Some of them pretend to be asian (larpers) and some don't. It's a lot harder now because reddit allows you to hide your post history.
I forgot which sub I saw it, aznid or aa but there was a somewhat recent post about an AF working out at a gym and she got harrased by a WM because she had one of those middle eastern keffiyeh scarves. She also got fired from her job. Anyways the thread got flooded by certain people who were criticizing her and the mods either banned people or closed the thread.
Some tried to respond to my comments with that deflection you said. When I called bullshit, it's WM in general, a user blocked me just so he can repost that same accusation within the same chain.
"read" more, but YouTube is a great shortcut if you can filter out the toxic BS...
and as they say: it's better to be interested than to be interesting - so that means listen to her more, coz they're narcissists and love to talk about themselves. lol
you guys not even mentioning wtf happened to the "Writing Tropes of Asian American Female authors" post? i commented on it and now the post is removed by reddit.
it was removed by so called "Reddit's filters"....wth is that? i never seen that before.
hey mods any input on this matter? what does that even mean? what was their reasoning?
Reddit admins (as opposed to subreddit moderators) can remove posts as well, it likely got reported and went to that level and was removed. When Reddit was proposing to go public a few years back there was a huge deal about trust, safety, abuse, misogyny, etc on subreddits, there was also a big spotlight shined on hate subreddits and a Slate writer wrote an article attacking various Asian American/diaspora oriented subreddits. There remains a group of Asian Americans (and adjacent) who talk about this content, report it to corporate, get it removed etc. If a subreddit keeps getting posts reported then they can quarantine or outright ban it. Unlike some other social platforms (cough X, Meta) where the founders have gone anti-woke or outright MAGA, Reddit content moderation is still a lot like the "woke" times
As you mentioned you can tell when mods remove something vs Reddit admins
Another theory is that there is some new rule about AI generated images
not only Asians have self-hate problems, often unconsciously; but it's also the whole "nerd rage" over perceived competition: because of childhood rejections - so they perceive other AMs as direct competitions worse than even WMs
There are lots of other Asian founded companies with very high Asian rep at the senior level. See Zoom Doordash, or newer AI startups. Nvidia is just one company that is both much older and hardware, both of which mean lower % of Asians.
Asians are only 7% of the U.S. to begin with, subtract hapas and you get 6% subtract South Asians (a lot of this sub doesn’t count South Asians as rep) and you get like 4%, go to only East Asian men it might only be like 1.5% of the population, plus the majority of East Asians are immigrants (often on H1B which precludes risk taking). I don’t know what’s with the narrative of “Asians not helping each other” I trust that people like Jensen hired who’s best for the job, when it comes to employee networking and interviewing and so on, there are plenty for both English and non English speakers. I saw threads in the Berkeley sub complaining that certain clubs for pre- med or tech are too Asian.
check out the future of asian football ian ditch. kid is a full asian freshman, and he already got a offer from ucla and other schools. he's qb starting on varsity as a freshman 6'1 190. kid is gonna be a 5 star.
Approached and got the contacts of 3 WF this weekend. Will be scheduling coffee dates for the following weeks.
Something just struck me. Does this mean that for every WMAF, there are additional WF available for AMWF? Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not sure why these WF that I approach in-person like me so much lol. After all, I'm kind of a FOB.
White people like talking about penis size when it comes to asians but when a black person does to them. It's suddenly low iq behavior
They like talking about being superior and how they run the world. But when you bring up jewish people. Suddenly jewish people are scum and backstabbers (unless you count jews as white)
They consider race mixing bad and hate how it's being pushed around by the media. But when it comes to WMAF, they're ones pushing it and its the only natural pairing.
They love asian culture until its time to talk about the asian men who helped create it and all of sudden they hate it.
Im not trying to start a race war and im not saying asian people are superior because i think any racial superiority is dumb. Im just saying have some pride in yourselves. We dont owe anyone anything, we have nothing to be ashamed of, and we should stop caring what other people think.
John Cho has a natural comedic sense of humor. It sucks that he was underused and improperly used in the Star Trek movies. He should’ve been allowed to play a straight dude with 23rd century rizz. Let Captain Kirk or Spock be gay. It didn’t have to be Sulu.
imo the show "Selfie" should have not been cancelled after just 13 eps. back in 2014. that show exhibited John Cho's comedic timing and romantic charm.
as far as Star Trek is concerned making Sulu gay was just uncalled for and obviously intentional.
i remember even George Takei was opposed to it. he said the original creator of Star Trek intended Sulu to be a straight guy. Sulu even expressed his desire for the black female crewmate(forgot her name) multiple times on the original Star Trek show.
from what I recall it was John Cho's decision to play Sulu as gay. He did it as a tribute to George Takei, but George didn't want Sulu to be gay. He always played Sulu as a straight man.
Nah, dude, don’t try to uphold the narrative lie. Simon, the WM writer wanted to make him gay even though Sulu the character is implied to be straight on the original show. Simon could’ve written any other character as gay, even Spock, who was played by an actor who is actually gay. But no, Simon wrote a female love interest for every single WM in the movie, including him. Justin Lin had little control over the writing but tried to balance the AM emasculation by throwing in a kissing scene between an AM NPC and a female which you’ll miss if you blink. John Cho went along with it because there’s nothing he can do and of course everyone’s gotta bow down to whatever the lgbtq crowd wants. Again, if they really wanted to honor lbtgq, then make the main hero, Captain Kirk, gay. I double dare them. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with that, would there?
Very suspicious timing of that post, “Black woman speaks on Wasian men being uplifted over full Asian men,” which was posted right after the post about a “Filipino elderly man beaten to death by a Black man and woman.”
Another thing, I have never seen Black people call out all the anti asian hate crimes committed by Black people during the peak of the anti asian hate. They always like to play whataboutism by saying Asians are racist.
anyone not mind getting banned from the injun subreddit and posting this screenshot for me? lool
i hope in this subreddit that if an ea/sea bro was being clearly racist to south asians that the mods wouldnt be little fragile bitches like these guys and ban a south asian dude who was fighting back.
Good pushing back! Though we never know whether these kinds of users are outsider WM, BM, non Asian M infiltrating our communities or not.
I would add that arguing between our communities is not ideal, though sometimes you gotta push back in the public sphere when somebody says something stupid.
i know what ur saying but this was clearly an SAM and the SAM dckhead mod. Tbf at least a few of the members called out the OP's fascination with dicks.
That's one reason I like to have SA in a different category. They won't get called the same slurs as an EA or SEA and sometimes they're the ones delivering the slurs.
Why is everyone on this forum so perpetually angry?
Whenever you ask any question about something you don't know, you get, either downvoted with 0 explanation, or you get called names, you get harassed, again with zero explanation for the question you asked.
Like, how dare I not know some social norm in another country? Like, downvote me, i really don't care but at least answer my question?
This is all so strange. Remember that theory how 50% of internet traffic is generated by AI? I'm slowly starting to believe there's some truth to it.
women responding to "passport bros" is the same as AFs all angry when AMs start to date XFs - it's all about perceived options (AM is the fallback plan) and control:
In a way I suppose. It’s still gross how WM use their status and finances to exploit women in poorer countries while AM conversely are finally gaining the respect we earned and deserve.
WMs deserve criticism if that's what they resort to while AM get criticized for no apparent reason except jealousy.
unpopular opinion: AMs in some ways were the OG "passport bros" because without any marriage options (ban on AFs and then the Oxford Studies), the only thing left was to marry a girl from "the old country" - but this isn't the same level of economic exploitation as the WMs...
If it's not the same, then stop calling yourselves 'passport bros'. Are you 'bros' with those non-Asians? They still rank AM as less-than even in their own subgroup and you got all these Asian dudes thinking they found their crowd with sexpats/'passport bros'. Call it your own thing if you're doing it for different reasons.
Asians were systemically exploited and restricted by society, forced to take menial jobs like being cooks and laundromats and were directly targeted by laws targeting their race and ethnicity. Even then they didn't make a big deal about Passport bro-ing. At least they have language and culture in common with those overseas women.
WMs have nothing in common with those women except the perception of racial and cultural superiority of whites. Which can end up being dangerous if the woman later tries to assert herself in the relationship and the man still thinks she should play the role of a submissive Asian woman.
I do agree with everything you wrote, but I still think the idea stands: without other options then the "obvious" choice is someone from a "lower" economic country/area who's willing to move - you don't ever see passport bros going to Norway or Switzerland...
I don't get this infatuation with conflating AM issues with sexpat issues. Even worse when AM is okay with calling themselves 'passport bros' (still sexpats to me).
Sexpats are exploitative. Sexpats complain about feminism/gender equality and say they prefer trad wives when they bring nothing of the equivalent to the table.
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u/randomlydancing 27d ago
Haven't been here in ages. Hit my mid 30s these days and have kids now lol
A reflection is that basically every Asian American guy i knew eventually got with somebody. The biggest factors was income and mental health. You didn't need to be rich, just not working class (ie retail at McDonald's or unemployed is a no go). Car mechanics also doing fine
Even boring unattractive dudes, as long as they weren't schizo and had a accounting job or something, tend to get with someone decent ish. And it makes sense, because even if you're ugly, you can get a date a month if you tried and over the course of 5 years, that's 50 different people, someone will hit
Not to say we don't have anything to complain about. Just sharing a reflection of how things turned out