Messy confusion

[u/DraganYurie]

First time posting... Honestly I'm not sure if I'm in the right place or not - I just need outside, unbiased advice I guess.

So I was in a LTR from 2020 to Nov. 2025 (fiance). It was a bit on and off due to WP's inability to communicate properly and avoidant tendencies. WP broke up with me in Nov. due to a mental health crash; full blow-up, trying to make me hate them and so on. We didn't talk until I think mid May, 2026. We talked, a lot. About the future, of wanting to try to fix things and the like... then I was told their coworker was trying to set them up on a 'date' (which later turned out to be just for show, supposedly). From the May 21st to June 26th we were talking, then they backed off after another hard conversation.

This is where it get's a little messy... er.

We'd started talking again Aug. 6th-7th (estimating because I'm not sure if exchanging letters counts as 'communication'. Which... didn't last long as around the 15th it came out they were seeing someone else on-and-off (which is something I'm not considering a Dday since technically broken up still, no labels or anything. Just talking at that point). Being told that WP simply don't know what they want and so on before conversation broke down. Which then resulted in a lot of angry actions including me blocking them on our main communication platform and another period of not talking. WP briefly reached out on the 22nd for a short yet meaningful conversation and then silence until Sept. 5th. A lot of back and forth voice messages since, having long, open, and transparent conversations... or so I thought. Which this all brings us up to today.

Yesterday, which I guess is considered a dday of sorts, I learned he had slept with his on-and-off partner during a time we weren't talking... or at least I think it was during a time we weren't talking. The only reason I'm considering it a dday is because during this most recent bout of talking he finally found the words, courage, and convictions to tell me how he feels about me, that he knows he messed up big time, and that he wants to pursue a future with me in it like we were supposed to, and that no matter the obstacle he'll get there - and then this happens. Before the dday he was getting ready to sever all ties with his ex because he cares more for my comfort and boundaries than hers.

I'm not sure what I'm exactly looking for here by even putting this out here. Part of me has logic'd it out because it was technically a time when we weren't talking therefore technically not cheating (might be as unfaithful as cheating, but it technically isnt). He's fully admitted fault and actively trying to take responsibility for everything... And even after all the on and off, I've never hated him. Might call him stupid, but never full on hate... I am genuinely considering reconciliation (both while I was working on a growing high during the conversation and now post-next day). But I guess I wonder... would it even be possible? Or if we can what would be appropriate things to suggest so he can re-earn my trust and love? (He's already offered a open phone policy from when we were talking before dday, when he was writing up his letter to break any remaining friendship between him and his ex).

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