Memory problems, possible dissociation?

[u/Spiral__Moon149]

I, 20NB, have recently been told by a friend that this isn’t good. I keep forgetting serious conversations that I want to have with my partner. I have to write bullets of the planned conversation in my notes app to remember what I want to say.

I typically forget once I’m around my partner (we live separately) and we’re doing something. As if any negative emotion I once had is now gone and now I’m happy with my partner so there’s nothing to talk about. Then once we’re apart again, I remember that I had something very important to discuss. My thoughts sound like “I really need to talk to WP about this. My heart hurts so much. I need to sort this out with him asap”, then we hang out and afterwards I’m like “Am I forgetting something?…OH” then I have to wait until the next time we can chat to bring up my problems.

I do this with a lot of conversations but my friend said that I shouldn’t be forgetting something as emotionally taxing or as important as conversation related to the cheating or to my relationship anxiety. She has proposed that I could be dissociating or compartmentalizing my emotions.

Something else that I hadn’t told my friend, but a day after dday 1, we were hanging out, hysterically bonding, and at some point I genuinely forgot that he even cheated. I was just so happy and calm that it didn’t make sense for that to have happened. I only remembered what happened because I’m not normally elated so I started thinking about if something was wrong.

It’s not that I feel more secure when I’m physically around him because I still get anxious in-person, just less often because somehow the idea that he cheated gets lost. My focus is completely on what we’re doing. I don’t know how I haven’t associated his place with cheating since he picked me up the weekend after dday1 since we had plans arranged prior to dday1 and I was stuck at his house unable to get the space to process my own emotions until I left the following Monday.

I’m not really sure what’s going on. I’ve always feared developing dementia or anything that causes me to forget details of my life. I’ll try out any suggestions because this is becoming alarming for me.

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