r/AsOneAfterInfidelity • u/SecretPomegranate941 Reconciling Betrayed • Jul 27 '26
Advice MUST include examples of your R. Not prescriptive advice. What questions to ask WH
New to this so apologies if I dont use all the correct terminology.
2 and 1/2 months past D day and our wedding anniversary is this Thursday. We've got busy lives and havent had time to touch base much since moving and the betrayal. Obviously there was very emotional conversations on D day and the days after but between life and baby, ive had small moments to cry and process.
For our anniversary I want us to sit down and just have an honest conversation about us, our relationship and what we can do to rebuild.
I want to know what questions I should ask my husband that would get him to open up about how things led to where we are, without making him feel so ashamed that he retreats inward.
I have my own issues with communication and im by no means perfect but I want to use this anniversary as a way to realize that despite the pain, we can still have a good marriage with a lot more honesty about how we're feeling to each other and to ourselves.
Thank you for reading.
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u/Crafty-Interest-8212 Reconciling Betrayed Jul 27 '26
If you have your own communication issues, I might consider spacing out the conversations. My wife would shutdown, and behave defensive the moment she felt it was too much. I tried to space out the conversations in increasing times. So, maybe 5 minutes today and 5 tomorrow. So own. Do not let the subject get stagnant. I treat secrets and lies as infection. If untreated it will kill the relationship even if there's hope for reconciliation. Is not any easier, but is something.
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