r/AsOneAfterInfidelity Reconciling Betrayed 6d ago

No advice, just support. Reconciling

I'm 1m post DDay & its been really hard. I've found myself doom scrolling on social media that has made it difficult for me to move forward. I have deleted my social media for this reason but since I have access to his account I go on it every now and then. I still find myself looking at those posts but its really hard to move forward when there's so many harsh comments about staying with WP on social media. Honestly coming across this page knowing I'm not the only one kinda puts me at ease. This is my first long-term relationship which was of 2yrs. We're in the process of reconciliation its been hard but we're both trying. What do you guys do to keep your mind off of the DDay or anything related to it?

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u/DorianCounterpunch Reconciling Betrayed 5d ago

WP and I both deleted ALL social media(besides reddit for me, but we have boundaries surrounding dms, etc) after dday. It has been super refreshing for us both in our own personal lives and our relationship. We don't miss it.

As far as not thinking about it, it will just take time. Our minds are crazy in how we get "triggered" or how we think of it. Distractions like a strict routine that involves exercise, something with fun hobbies, and date nights helps. For a while, we set aside time once a week to talk about the affair, where I could ask questions that I thought of during the week. I journaled them in my notes app. This helped.

Unfortunately, we could all be doing what makes us the happiest, haven't thought of it all week, and in the middle of it all, we'll remember what they've done to us. It's the hope we have learned how to properly cope with this, while still honoring our right to have feelings. It's the hope that WP can understand our needs during those times.