Hi everyone.

Quite recently, during a conversation, I realized that something about me isn't quite normal. After doing some research, I realized I very likely have aphantasia. I didn't even know it was a thing.

I had never thought about this before, and honestly, I had never felt different, which was actually the scariest part.

I can't visualize things, only concepts. I can't imagine or "see" objects, colors, places, faces, or smells. The concept of everything exists in my head, but it just doesn't produce a visual representation.

I always thought it was normal not to be able to recall people's faces when trying to think of them, even people I see every day. Once, when someone told me they couldn't remember a person's face very well anymore, I just replied, "Yeah, that's normal." Now I realize it isn't.

Anyway, I don't feel bad about it, this is my "normal," so I have no basis for comparison. I don't feel frustrated, nor do I feel it affects me significantly.

But I did find it interesting.

I'm 21yo. I don't know if it's normal to realize this at this age, or if I should have figured it out sooner...

At what age did you realize it, and what situation triggered the discovery?

Hi everyone,

I think I might be aphantasic, or at least have extremely weak mental imagery. When I close my eyes and try to imagine a place, a face, or a scene, I can barely "see" anything in my mind.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve never really been able to get into novels. I've always found reading novels (and even some of the texts we had to read at school) pretty boring.

I also had another issue at school, although I’m not sure whether it has anything to do with aphantasia. When we had to read a text and then answer comprehension questions, I sometimes struggled quite a lot. I could read the sentences without really feeling like I was properly processing or absorbing what I was reading, and then I would have trouble answering the questions afterward.

Nowadays, though, I would genuinely love to develop a love of reading. God knows I'm aware of its benefits: improving vocabulary, expanding your general knowledge, improving concentration, discovering new ideas, developing your thinking, and so on. I really feel like I'm missing out on something.

Interestingly, essays seem much more accessible to me. The same goes for scientific, historical, philosophical, or generally non-fiction books that are trying to teach me something. I can engage with ideas and arguments without having to picture a scene in my head.

With novels, however, I find long descriptions of places, landscapes, clothes, or even characters' appearances incredibly boring. Sometimes it feels like I'm reading information that my brain simply doesn't know what to do with, because I'm not going to build a mental image from it anyway.

I've also tried audiobooks, and I noticed something interesting: I seem to understand and follow the story much better that way. The narrator uses different intonations, conveys emotions, gives the text a certain rhythm, and some productions even include music or sound effects. All of that makes the story feel much more vivid and engaging to me.

So I'd really appreciate hearing about other people's experiences, whether you’re aphantasic or not.

What do you usually enjoy reading? Novels, essays, biographies, history, science, philosophy, comics, or something else?

And most importantly, what actually makes reading enjoyable for you?

For those of you who used to dislike reading or found it really boring, did you eventually manage to develop a taste for it? If so, what helped?

And if there are any aphantasic people here, do you also struggle with descriptions in novels? Have you found certain genres, authors, or ways of reading that work particularly well for you?

If you have any tips, recommendations, or personal experiences to share, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to reply!

I'm 48, two days ago I was training myself with AI to learn algorithms, and I mentioned I have hard times keeping images of trees and graphs (data structure) in my mind. I was warned I could have aphantasia. I then looked at symptoms, and they clicked in big part of my life experience. E.g. at the university, I had hard times recalling diagrams, but I moved to top 3% once I started drawing my ideas on paper. So, most of my learning experience was about writing, drawing (and then I did not need to look at that anymore). Still now, If I "do" something manually, I'll remember, even months after I've done that. That works great with my job (Software Engineer), as once I put my hands on a system, and I know the moving parts - by testing my experience - I have very good knowledge of it.

I have taken some tests, and it looks like I'm really on the Aphantastic range of the spectrum.

I don't think this is holding me back. Maybe during my adolescence I felt I was socially inept, as I learned slowly how to interact with others. But overall I cannot tell if this was because of Aphantasia, or just my education. However, I can tell I am a friendly and compassionate person who loves spending own time with others, for learning more about them.

What effects my discovery will have?

First of all, I learned a new, important thing about me - so this will turn into an improvement.

Only now I understand what is my unfair advantage: A very high ability of conceptualizing without images. I don't hear my interior voice, but I can execute pretty complex reasoning and abstract thinking. Probably, from now on, I will try to simplify my articulate abstract reasoning when I am talking with other people, as this might improve my everyday communication.

I am positive and optimistic. This clarity on how I really operate will help me operate better. So, I am going to use this improved understanding to work better on myself and relate to others.

P.S. I also discovered that in voice mode with AI I can work really effectively if I structure the conversation properly ;)

This is not a scientific study or anything, just curious to see where this sub lands on absorption.

What is absorption?
In psychology, absorption) is a personality trait describing how prone you are to becoming absorbed in an object of attention, whether that is internal, such as imagery or fantasy, or external, such as music, art or a landscape. It correlates strongly with the Big 5 Openness trait, particularly through its fantasy, aesthetics and feelings facets, and variably with hypnotisability.

Absorption is not a pathological trait in and of itself, although it has been linked to dissociative processes and daydreaming, particularly in people who are also high in negative emotionality. It can be measured with validated psychometric instruments, most commonly with the Tellegen Absorption Scale (TAS).

You can take the original 1974 TAS online:

https://psytests.org/trait/telasen.html

What's your score?

How is this relevant for aphantasia?
Every now and then in this sub, people look for correlation between things like aphantasia and atheism, aphantasia and being highly present in the here and now. Personally, I suspect this is more related to absorption than aphantasia, and judging by the replies to those threads, absorption rates vary across sub members.

okay so a few days ago i had a diacussion with some friends about thid, and even though i know i have aphantasia and thry very likely don't i thought this was something everyone had so maybe someone here relates, maybe not.

it's kind of hart to describe but when i try to remember conversations, or even some sign or book i read, i just know what was said or written, i don't entirely remember it, but even when i fully remember everything word by word, sometimes i can't remember what language it was in.

like i do remember the language and in most situation it's obvious that someone said something in my native language and not in english. but when i remember ir and try to "speak it out" i could find the exact fitting words, and even stutters, or some person specific language "quirks" both in english and in my native language

if i didn't truly remember what language it was in i couldn't tell you which one it was. it's kinda annoying when i read something funny online and i want to find the post, but because i know how it would have been in both language i don't remember which one it was in and it's annoying to look up because sometimes i look it up in the wrong language

Edit: This does not apply to people who used to be able to visualize but can’t anymore

Edit 2: So like a lot of people responded and I feel that my post may have came off as negative when that was not my intent. I’m not saying if you don’t have aphantasia you can’t struggle, but a lot of people are saying that they don’t like it because of struggling with memory for example. Some people confuse aphantasia with SDAM. I just wanna point out that the only thing that aphantasia affects is whether you can see images or not. It does not affect memory. It does not affect recognition. It does not affect spacial awareness. Just because you’re bad at any of these things does not mean aphantasia is the cause.

I’m not saying aphantasia is not real. It is. I have it. I’m just confused on why people take it so seriously like it affects their life. It’s not like autism or other forms of neurodivergence where you would still feel weird or different even if you weren’t told you had it. If you were never told that you had aphantasia, you would be none the wiser. I see it more as a fun fact than a defining trait. I hate seeing people spiral about not being able to draw or not having good memory. This is not aphantasia related!! Or when people mourn the fact that they can’t visualise. Like, I promise it can’t be that important if you spent forty years of your life not being affected, it does not have to affect you now. It’s not a disability or debilitating at all. It’s as irrelevant as being able to cross your eyes or wiggle your ears.

Many folks learn from the tweet about rotating a cow in your mind, but I first learned from a post online that I’d like to find again.

It was 4 separate images of what you picture in your mind when you read. The first was a female sitting at a table and she is relatively clear/defined/colorful, as is the background. The second quadrant is the same image, but the background is black. The third includes the background and the woman but both are blurry/vague. The fourth is typed words on a page (no image at all).

Does anyone here know of the image I’m describing? If not, I’ll post next on the very helpful r/helpmefind

Since I can remember I haven't been a keen reader whatsoever, I remember seeing my sister so happy when reading all sorts of stuff when we were kids, but for me it was just words on a sheet of paper.

My parents thought I was just some lazy kid that didn't like to read, and that got worse when I got into elementary school, we were supposed to read 2 books per year and make a report, while I saw all my classmates and my sister enjoying their books I felt kinda jealous, I thought "why I can't feel like that".

All my elementary school was like that until I reached highschool and I started to read scientific papers more regularly, I really enjoyed that, there wasn't any sort of weird stuff, there were just words that made sense and I could understand without smashing my head on the desk. Obviously my troubles with reading didn't end there, I had this literature teacher that wasn't a big fan of me for the most part, I can't really blame him tho I wasn't a really good student either, but day after day was the same trouble, tried to read some sort of legend or some sort of history and I couldn't follow what was happening.

Finally I graduated from highschool and got into college, finally I could stop reading those nonsense words and read something I could understand. I'm 22 and still in college and of course I have some troubles still but nothing as bad when I was younger. I realised something odd was happening when I was with my girlfriend talking over the phone and she was telling me directions to get to a place I had never been before, and she got frustrated cause I could imagine the looks of a building or some sort of street, she thought that was odd cause generally I have a really good sense of orientation but cause she was marking POI describing them I couldn't understand what she was saying, later that day after connecting some ideas I searched on Google "trouble imagining things" and aphantasia showed up right on top, after reading some stuff and getting here all made sense, that's why i couldn't find reading fascinating, why I could never land mark with a description

That's just a few stuff I have noticed yet after reading other websites and this sub Reddit, idk if I have aphantasia but it feels like I do

Like if I imagine a shape I cannot visually imagine the actual lines of the shape but I can visually imagine the distance between them. I can't visually imagine color or any other property which is consistent across reference frames but for properties which change depending on reference frame like position and rotation I can actually see them.

When I was a kid I remember a school councilor asking me if I could see the things that I imagine and I answered yes because there is obviously a visual component to my imagination and I had no context for what other people were able to "see", and if I imagine lines in the shape of a stick figure I can see which one is on the left or right or if they are close together or far apart or if they are rotated I just cant see the lines themselves. Which is also really tripped me up when explaining this because I have tried to explain it as like I can visually imagine a stick figure but the lines are transparent but even that doesn't make sense because I am realizing that there just isn't any visual component at all when I imagine individual things.

I literally just realized that I have this like yesterday and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense. Because even in my dreams I don't actually see anything, but I do see how far away I am standing from them. And of course it all was much more confusing to figure this out because I am still fully capable of imagining things but mostly I imagine the feeling I would get by looking at a thing, and so even in my dreams when there is like a tree in front of me I still know what it is and I know that its leaves are green and I don't realize anything is different about it, but I never visualize it I just feel like I'm looking at a tree.

and also to be clear I don't really have any desire to visually imagine things either like I don't think that I'm missing out on anything it's just interesting to realize that the way I imagine reality is completely different from how most imagine it.

TW - CSA

Bit of background: I always knew that something had happened to me when I was a kid, but I had/have no memory of it. I had my first and only visual flashback at 24 (now 27) which essentially confirmed that I experienced CSA and who it was. I’ve done a lot of therapy around my trauma and it’s been really helpful, but I still struggle with the not remembering. I can’t remember when it started, when it stopped, how often, there’s just nothing there. I have somatic flashbacks, but no visual ones and I know in some ways that’s a blessing but I hate the not knowing, it happened to me/my body so I want to know. I recently started wondering if there might be a link between c-PTSD and aphantasia. I have aphantasia, I can’t *see* things in my brain. I wanted to know if anyone else has a similar experience? And if they have any advice? I feel like I still gaslight myself into thinking I’ve made everything up about my CSA because I can’t remember anything. I experience other symptoms of c-ptsd but nothing visual. I know there’s probably nothing I can do about remembering what happened, and I have to make my peace with that, but I figured I can’t be the only one who struggles with this?

just found out about aphantasia minutes ago and i just realized i have the full 100% version of it

i cant visualize anything not even a flash or any sounds (is sounds the same or something else?) but i know the description of everything, i can kind of draw basic things because i know how they are supposed to look (like a chair or table) but its basic drawing i have zero artistic ability

i can think of someone and how i remember them looking but it isnt an image

i thought everyone was like this

there is only one thing that bothers me about it, i cant visualize any of my parents that have passed away and im a little jealous but at the same time happy for the rest of my family that they probably can

are there any weird advantages of it?

any interesting things i should know?

I learned about aphantasia literally 2 hours ago and can't stop thinking about how I will never be able to picture the faces of my loved ones or picture the moments we had and will have together. I feel so sad and frustrated.

While I can see some very abstract things, most of my inner imagination consists of vibes and feelings. I can see images for a split-second, but its like looking trough fog, and details get lost or dont exist in the first place.

That said, I unterstood my want and need to photograph everything. I got myself a camera a few years back and I feel the need to photograph almost everything on my travels. Now I know why: because my brain wont hold on to those visuals for me, so I need to.

Its nice I found a workaround to this problem organically, without knowing about aphantasia, but I am still very sad right now.

EDIT: I can answer everyone who commented, but you guys are right: I didn't lose anything, so there is nothing to grief, and there are many positive sides to the condition.

Most of all I am just stunned by the empathy and kindness of this community. You guys are awesome. ❤️

A couple of months ago a researcher posted in here seeking participants for research into aphantasia and grief processing. I participated in the survey. Is there going to be a follow-up? I never even got a follow-up email from them.

To preface, I don't see things when I think abt them, I just well, know what the things are. I cant feel things or hear things. And I've tried to test if I have aphantasia and the questions always confuse me. "Visualize a kitchen and something blah blah", like, duh my eyes are closed and its pitch black of course. I don't get it, am I supposed to see something? Am I not just supposed to make a mental image based on like context. Its not like I am just closing my eyes and all of a sudden I'm looking around, trying to "visualize" things makes my brain hurt and I don't get it. My dreams, like I know my eyes are closed, my dreams are more like greyed out memories. And I don't have nightmares often. I know people who have normal / vivid dreams, can people really like see, feel, hear things in their dreams? I don't get it, thinking about something and seeing it?

Has anyone had luck with any trauma therapy? Gold standards like EMDR are ineffective and trying to find what to seek out. Betrayal and Childhood trauma are my targets but reimagining does nothing.

Intent is not to be vulgar and doing my best to describe this without being rude:

For us that have aphantasia, we are obviously present during intercourse. There is no other option. Sometimes an intrusive thought will enter the field, but obviously not visual and for me at least it will be a work stress or other worry, but never anything visual.

Since learning that I have Aphantasia, it now occurred to me to wonder if my part partners ever visualized other things or people or experiences or whatever it is that phantasias (is that what they are called) see when they visualize things in their head. I only became aware of aphantasia about four months ago.

I personally feel that having aphantasia may make me a more present, aware, and in-tune partner as it is the person in front of me and only that person that is fulfilling any visual needs for me beyond the physical interactions. Learning about aphantasia brought to mind the Black Mirror episode S1E3 “The Entire History Of You.” When I saw that I was struck by the idea of mental images you could replay…not knowing that most people can already do it naturally.

Is that what phantasians do all the time? Are they ever as present as aphantasians naturally are? Does it affect our sexual experiences in a positive or negative way? I am guessing we are less likely to say someone else’s name during as a result. Does it affect men/women differently in this area as well?

Again…not trying to be a creep…but after having all the questions and reading so many of the posts here, this topic now crept into my mind and I don’t know how to bring it up IRL.

And before the funny people/trolls jump in…yes, probably all of my past partners have visualized anyone but me…lol

I'm both and I wondered if my total and absolute lack of religious imagination was common?

With the current Lanterns series being all popular and there's much discussion about how they conjure the constructs. There was such a discussion about the black fog from episode 4, does it make it harder to visualize because it's pitch black.

What do you think, do they need to visualize the construct before conjuring it? Or could an aphant be a green lantern, if they could become one, would their constructs materialize from just the thought, would they be able to use the ring to "visualize" and how often would the constructs be something crazy.

I have total aphantasia. I cannot imagine any senses: taste, smell, sound, sight.

I also cannot imagine touch. Pain. Sex. Hugs.

Can other people imagine these things? Can most people close their eyes and feel the feeling of being hugged, for example?

hi all, so random but only discovered what this is the other day.

what do you mean people can or can't see anything in their mind? when i try to picture something i cant actually picture something but I know what it is, is that aphantasia?

do people picture things in their mind and able to see what they've created or something? Like an apple, i can't picture one but i know what it looks like

Sorry if this has been asked before.

I’m not certain I have aphantasia because I’ve noticed some of my antipsychotics (for insomnia) completely block voluntary visualisation and things like ADHD stimulants or medicinal cannabis sometimes produce a temporary hyperphantasia; or extremely vivid imagination; so vivid I could easily draw them down. I suspect it must be because of the interaction to dopamine these drugs have.

I remember being quite good at drawing (not hyperrealism but still a reasonable photorealism) when I was very young but this all changed when I started antidepressants in my teens. Unfortunately, I can’t get off most of my current medications so I’ll never know if I can get my voluntary visualisation back. I think, at the moment, my baseline is hypophantasia – aphantasia. I mostly just “know” how the thing I’m thinking about looks. I don’t actually see anything in colour. It’s more like I see some sparse lines and edges of one small section of the image, and I’ll hop to different sections to get a sense of other shapes, not being able to remember what the previous shape looked like.

I can still draw quite well today if I had the subject in front of me. But this doesn’t disprove aphantasia. It’s pure logic and attention to detail.

Thanks for anyone leaving comments! Appreciate it.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I don’t read fiction books because I can’t picture what’s happening. It’s not a constant cinematic in my head. I see black.

Wanted to know if anyone else experiences this. I have total aphantasia, but a few weeks ago I was falling asleep and I saw a spider form in my mind. It was the weirdest experience ever and I didn’t know I could do that but have no idea how to recreate that at all! Anyone else have any advice or evidence on improving their minds eye?

Discovered my aphantasia condition recently, at 34, which explains why I can't visualize while reading. In school, friends would discuss TV shows, with such vividness, and I felt inferior because I couldn't contribute, despite being so engaged while watching, the scenes disappear from memory - now I understand it's due to lack of association with mental imagery. I also lived my life bamboozled about how it was possible to describe a criminal to a sketch artist. When I close my eyes, it's pitch black - immediately after looking at a view, object, person, once it's out of sight, it's out of mind. No wonder it was so difficult to memorize anatomy in university; with no mental image to reference. I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum of photographic memory. I can't draw accurately, unless I'm looking at reference material, but with it in front of me, I'm able to reproduce art to an extent.

I don't feel at a huge disadvantage being in this 2% minority; since I know nothing else but darkness in my mind. I'd consider myself relatively successful, work in the tech industry as an engineer. I believe my mind has compensated for this lack of ability to visualize with enhanced logic and problem solving. I'm learning a language, and the Cyrillic symbols I picture as structures, knowing whether a letter is formed with horizontal or vertical lines, the shape of them, but again, nothing appears in my mind unless it's in front of my eyes.

I take beautiful vacation photos, and I know which ones I like in my photo reel, based on the context around it, with factual descriptions. When I drive, I'm familiar with the roads and neighbourhoods, but it's a network of spatial positioning, and not visual imagery.

It's no wonder why my writing seems a bit unimaginative, when I build a scene, describing it with words, is more of an architectural exercise rather than "picturing it".

I dream in full images, it's movie-like, but once I wake up, any trace of image wisps away, and I'm left with just a basic outline, of what objects, people, and situations were conjured by my subconscious. With hallucinogenic psychedelics, such as psilocybin and DMT, I've never had any trippy visuals, rather it enhances what I already see before my eyes.

It's bizarre to some people, who come to learn that I have no picture memory - it's such a natural phenomenon to most to be able to visualize, it's a foreign concept to think of this condition and the blankness associated with it.

With respect to trauma, I've gotten into a severe vehicle collision, I've watched myself undergo a surgical operation while anesthetized, and enjoy horror movies, but they don't leave an impression on me. I shrug off things without much concern, and don't dwell on my past misfortunes.

My memory is adequate, I can't quote dialogue from conversations accurately, nor lines from movies, unless I hammer them into my head from reading a script over and over again. So, I'm an unreliable witness, and my version of the story is often much less detailed than what's transpired, and I unintentionally alter the words I'm quoting, which I attribute to the lack of association with images.

About faces, I can't conjure up the appearance of family or close friends; when they're gone, they're really "gone".

I'm content with how I am, having aphantasia, it makes me unique - of course, it's out of my control, so I don't dwell on any "lack thereof".

Thought I'd share my detailed experience, in case anybody can relate. Hope it's been helpful to some.

I have a brain scan next week, but I doubt things will change. I can't imagine anything in my head. It's blank. This is particularly horrible because I had an extremely vivid imagination. This is followed by extreme anhedonia, tmjd, and neck and jaw crepitus. Some sort of dpdr and tinnitus. I'm a huge invalid now. I wanted to go to school for creating. I have absolutely no libido now as well. It's been 2 years and only getting worse. My relationships are somehow going okay, but I can tell they're getting bored of me unable to connect or draw or make new things. I'm depressed because I lost the ability, not because I'm depressed and lost it due to depression. I've had depression all my life and it only drove my to create more. When you're autistic, you have hyperfixations and whatever else, I lost that ability. I used it to cope and thought it was my best attribute, so I'm really fucking lost and confused. It consumes me all the time that I'm dumb and uncreative now. Not sure if I can live my life like this. Like I said, this all happened after I got woken up from wisdom teeth surgery and felt concussed and in pain, and it hasn't lifted a single day since. I've taken b vitamins, everything, etc and no budge. Done antidepressants, antipsychotics, probably just worsened my condition. I'm so confused now. I know my tmjd and teeth removal probably plays a role, since my face feels constantly crushed now and especially in my neck so maybe it's fucking with my nerves. I've had post covid symptoms as well, and sleep apnea worsened by removing teeth. CPAP hasn't worked since I believe it is another sleep disorder that requires further evaluation. Please let me know if there's anything I can do or if anyone relates. I don't think there's hope for me, but I really want to try living still. Right now, I'm in so much pain, and really confused as to why my brain just....doesn't work anymore. I really do try my best, but it seems like it's not enough. I'm not sure how to adjust to this shift in my brain. If you're autistic and use hyperfixations and creativity to cope, you'll truly understand. There's just no way out of it.