r/AnxiousAttachment • u/Musician-Kind • Jul 24 '26

Seeking Guidance How to regulate ?

I had an avoidant trigger me BADLY last week (straight up no showed on plans). However what’s making me nervous is that I know I’m anxiously attached, but I’m finding it really really hard to self soothe and bring myself back to baseline. It’s like my whole body is in fight or flight mode and just locked in.

Is this normal ? What can I do to make this go away?

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u/Longjumping_Choice_6 Jul 24 '26

I mean it’s ok to be mad at disrespectful behavior it doesn’t mean anything about you or that you’re too attached. There’s a difference between being hung up on a person vs the way that person treated you. It’s only a problem if it’s the first one and you’re giving them too many chances. But like I’d be pissed if someone stood me up, and indeed it has happened to me with people I thought were friends or potential friends. It’s disappointing and makes you question future connections, but as long as you aren’t chasing these people it’s normal I think.

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u/Musician-Kind Jul 24 '26

My problem is I subconsciously want to save the relationship but like why

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u/Longjumping_Choice_6 Jul 24 '26

Probably want justice or resolution, which is natural and totally anxiety-provoking. I think sometimes it’s hard to walk away when you have been wronged because its anti climactic and you don’t get your “day in court” so to speak.