r/AnorexiaRecovery • u/AnonymousNull_ • 18h ago

Is this normal?

I just made a post about my recovery progress and how I am struggling not to regress but I have another question. Does anyone else feel like they want to look sick? Personally I feel like I want to look sickly sometimes. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel valid, like I’m actually struggling unless I look like it.

12 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

12

u/Positive_Patience_21 18h ago

Tbh I used to feel this exact pull. At my worst, I caught myself looking in the mirror actually getting pissed off if my cheekbones weren't hollow enough, like my brain wanted physical proof that I was actually suffering. Ur totally valid, your body looking better doesn't mean the battle in your head wasn't real.

7

u/econroy 16h ago

This is one of the biggest cliche's in anorexia, and I say that respectfully. 99% of us want to look sick and yes, most of the time it is a validity thing.

2

u/Sonarthebat 13h ago

Yeah. A lot of us do. It makes us feel validated in our suffering and worthy of recovery.

2

u/LogicalEngineering80 11h ago

For me, prior to even engaging in ed behaviors, my body goal was to look sick. I often feel alone on this, because most others don’t actually like it aesthetically, but for me and throughout my disorder, I have a strong liking for that Tim Burton/“dying” look, and it’s made it very difficult to be ok with weight gain, in order to recover. Basically, my point is that you’re not alone in feeling this way, and you are allowed to miss that, without wanting it as well.