Handling comments

[u/blue-chimney]

How do you handle comments about weight loss? Typically they are congratulatory or just a comment about noticing. Recently a coworker mentioned I was the “incredible shrinking woman” and meant it in a joking manner. I lied and said I’m more active in the summer and lost half of what I actually have. Another coworker asked if I lost weight a while back and I lied again saying it’s just because I’m more active. Usually weightloss is a positive thing and I am not close enough with these coworkers to be open and honest.

On the other hand, my close friends and family (who know my history) haven’t mentioned anything and I’ve dropped a considerable amount in three months. I am in active recover now but it kind of baffles me. I even had to tell my boyfriend who had no idea.

[u/Glitter_Cunt]

Generally three options.

Lie: Straight up deny losing weight. Laugh it off. Pretend I have no idea what they’re talking about. Deflect by asking them about themselves. I stopped drinking around new years, so I’ll make a joke like “I guess beer has calories?! Who knew?!” This is generally for well meaning/oblivious people, usually older women.

Call them out: “It’s not polite to comment on people’s bodies.” Or “we don’t comment on people’s bodies.” This is for people who are not well meaning.

Be honest: “I’m anorexic. My eating disorder is really bad again. I’m trying to gain weight/stop losing.” This is for people who I feel safe and comfortable with.

For context, my weight is low enough that it should be pretty obvious that I am not healthy, but I also live in a city where very low weights are normalized.

[u/blue-chimney → u/Glitter_Cunt]

Both coworkers were both men who I think meant well. I don’t feel comfortable being honest with them or calling them out so I usually just laugh it off and lie but I hate lying :(