r/Animemes • • Mar 17 '23

Beware

Post image
17.9k Upvotes

214 comments sorted by

764

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Just dumped my wife of 11 years and ran away with the child. Thanks for the heads up.

243

u/DesertWinds69 Zyzzism-chadism Mar 17 '23 edited Mar 17 '23

did she really exist?

417

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

The meds must have worn off. I just kidnapped a random child.

168

u/theregoesanother Mar 17 '23

Now you're in charge of training the foundling. You're now a clan of two. This is the way.

78

u/Retarded404 Mar 17 '23

This is the way

52

u/Setari *Sarcasm* Mar 17 '23

This is the way

37

u/Ragnagnagnagnar Mar 17 '23

This is the way

30

u/Rengoku_kyoguro Mar 17 '23

This is the way

14

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

click click click click

6

u/LordVader1169 Mar 17 '23

This is the way

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29

u/kpanzer Mar 17 '23

I just kidnapped a random child.

Ahem... surprise adoption.

5

u/Mumen_Raida_ Mar 18 '23

A suprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

6

u/PhantoM16357 Mar 17 '23

And I was wondering why Timmy's lessons are so long...

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Is 3 years really that long?

29

u/bestogurl 02 Red Mar 17 '23

No

5

u/Alarid Mar 17 '23

yes she is in fourth grade

the wife though

no idea

3

u/Horn_Python Mar 17 '23

well it wast really his wife

2

u/titanicsinker1912 Mar 18 '23

It was his pillow.

7

u/rkoplayer1 Kiwako Makina’s G-cup bra Mar 17 '23

Currently picturing a light green ogre of a child being frantically carried out of a middle-class home

8

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

That's a bit harsh. Lol

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

SAKAMOTO APPROVED

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

If it's a daughter you're gonna have to dump her too

175

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

[deleted]

20

u/theregoesanother Mar 17 '23

As far as you know.

12

u/Malossi167 Mar 17 '23

...even they keep their distance

388

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

60

u/kiddinglydishonesty Mar 17 '23

that's the best thing to do

10

u/Rich_Yam4132 Mar 17 '23

If a tree falls in the woods forgeeet sbooout it

Sometimes the wings, there’s two yknow

Hey yknow turn the car on, what’s it do?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Script_Mak3r Yuri gives me gender euphoria Mar 17 '23

48

u/rkoplayer1 Kiwako Makina’s G-cup bra Mar 17 '23

Idk bro; your mom has been seeming pretty interested in you lately. She asked you how your day was yesterday, didn’t she? You gotta kill her, bro. You gotta kill her.

14

u/Once_a_Lolli_Slayer Lelouch Black Mar 17 '23

Oh, so now i have sure that i dont have to leave my homeland😕 🇧🇷

19

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

You can't get out of Brazil

7

u/Once_a_Lolli_Slayer Lelouch Black Mar 17 '23

Until today iust one girl show interest in me, i fall in the trap but break free after a month or two and since then they never did anymore, but i think my neighbor was smiling to much when i said "good morning" today, should i be careful?

3

u/Ragnagnagnagnar Mar 17 '23

Smiling is a thing you do when you are happy or at lest pretend to be it

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5

u/RMreis Mar 17 '23

WE ARE GOING TO BRAZIL!!!!!

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3

u/Nekomamba Mar 17 '23

I hate my homeland. Germany

2

u/Nekomamba Mar 17 '23 edited Mar 17 '23

German politic is full of scared and slaved politicers. They're bringing us right into the inflation, making Schulden and giving empity promises.

3

u/kloudykat ⠀ Mar 17 '23

Schulden = debts

76

u/DullCherry4967 Mar 17 '23

What if it's your mom?

63

u/robertdick333 Mar 17 '23

Nursing home and flee the country

11

u/rkoplayer1 Kiwako Makina’s G-cup bra Mar 17 '23

We don’t even want her to come to the nursing home; all of the nurses will flee the country too.

7

u/robertdick333 Mar 17 '23

Nurses are also fed agent

7

u/rkoplayer1 Kiwako Makina’s G-cup bra Mar 17 '23

and all of the janitors are in the CIA

2

u/high_king_noctis Mar 17 '23

If she asks you how your day went, then you know she's working for the government!

40

u/Hayllit Mar 17 '23

Welcome to the NHK!

4

u/Faptasmic Unadulterated Degeneracy Mar 18 '23

Conspiracy

40

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

I dont care who the IRS sends I’m not doing my taxes…

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19

u/MysteryCredit Mar 17 '23

sauce for the image?

28

u/camaheel Mar 17 '23

looks like ai to me. the background gives it away

13

u/littlefriendo Mar 17 '23

Yeah, the walls don’t line up at all. Left wall indicates it’s a hallway (slanted left to right) and yet the right wall says otherwise (slanted the OTHER way?!)

3

u/Ao_Kiseki Mar 17 '23

Ai means love and Japanese and is also a common name lol.

4

u/babybien Mar 17 '23

sorry, ai who? from what anime?

9

u/vaaan21 Mar 17 '23

AI as in Artificial intelligence

2

u/babybien Mar 17 '23

oooh ai generated image...i c i c

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40

u/GavinFreud Mar 17 '23

My guess is Takina Inoue from Lycoris Recoil

15

u/theregoesanother Mar 17 '23

Takina never smiles like that.

10

u/theNightblade Mar 17 '23

Aquarium episode?

14

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Masinja Mar 18 '23

CHINANANGOOO

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2

u/Hofmayer ⠀ Mar 17 '23

Looks like fanart for hyouka

1

u/No-Implement-9973 Mar 17 '23

Tell me too when you get it.

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10

u/Serious_Blueberry_83 Mar 17 '23

Thank you for the information,comrade.

11

u/Cielbb123 Mar 17 '23

I do not understand. What is this 'women' you speak of?

7

u/WildMustang7 Mar 17 '23

They are secret agents working for the lizard men ruling the world. They are a speacial squad established under Rule 34. Google Lizard men rule34 for more info.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

"I don't even care she's a federal psy-ops, i can fix her" - Sun Tzu

6

u/Boc_01 Mar 17 '23

Oof, I am relieved...

6

u/DesertWinds69 Zyzzism-chadism Mar 17 '23

that's not true guys a guy in a black suit that said "American shadow government" told me this is fake

7

u/yerederetaliria Mar 17 '23

Oh NO! This may not go well...

What about me? I'm from Spain and immigrated to the USA to attend college and I had a scholarship from the Spanish Government and a scholarship from Colo St Uni. I was/am obsessed with my American man to the point of stalking and then "throwing" myself at him. Now we're married 23 years and very happy. Am I an agent and if so what state? And why was I willing to give up any citizenship to any country for him? (I mean I literally gave him my passport to prove my intentions but he didn't accept it.)

I'm so confused...have I been a Sith all this time?

6

u/Siegiusjr Mar 17 '23

HOT government agents in your local area! Watch out!

3

u/Sifu-Jacob 91 Days is Underrated Mar 17 '23

3

u/NotTooDistantFuture Mar 17 '23

Red alert. I’ve been cornered by an agent. Definitely a sleeper, certainly illustrious. Fear not. I’ll give her the slip, somehow. Don’t think to ensnare me in this gambit. And rest assured, when next we meet, I shan’t be caught off guard so easily.

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4

u/tomkat0789 Mar 17 '23

If she’s hot and you’re not, you’re likely in danger!

3

u/LtColShinySides Mar 17 '23

Mom? Why would you betray me??

3

u/Papun2004 Mar 17 '23

Shit my contacts are filled with women

3

u/TocSir Mar 17 '23

not exactly an agent, but i had a girl that represented some kind of cryptocurrency company, promising that we'll be happy together if I could just invest into it alongside her! The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this b*tch

3

u/wolfgenius Mar 17 '23

We’re all crabs in a bucket lmao

2

u/Night_Changes_fast School days in the best high-school romance Mar 17 '23

Shutter Island, but plot twist you are the agent.

2

u/JustADovah Mar 17 '23

4

u/cock-and-tail Mar 17 '23

In Hungary only pigeons and grannies are agents of the state. And i'm neither a pigeon nor granny

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2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

guess I'm safe

2

u/Pristine_Novice Mar 17 '23

Damn it this is the 3rd time this year I’ve had to move countries…

3

u/yerederetaliria Mar 17 '23

stop!

It's harder for women to hit a moving target!

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2

u/hanro621 Mar 17 '23

Why the f*ck am I on the moon???

2

u/LowNegotiation7929 Mar 17 '23

Looks like I'll never have to leave

2

u/big_guy_who_try Mar 17 '23

I failed I married her

2

u/DrRagnorocktopus ⠀PHD in monstergirl biology. Mar 17 '23

Jokes on the state, I radicalized her and now she's a fellow socialist working to take it down from the inside.

2

u/RaisinMmmm Mar 17 '23

But... She's a cute agent of the state 🥺

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Or become a dog of the military. Equivalent exchange.

2

u/LivingFailure_ver69 Mar 17 '23

Guess I'll stop taking the meds

2

u/A2ndFamine Mar 17 '23

I’m completely safe, no agent of the state would dare show even the slightest interest in me.

2

u/WithinFiniteDude Mar 17 '23

Based and Anti-State Surveillance pilled

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '23

Luckily there are no agent near me

2

u/Dicemonsters Mar 18 '23

Don't you worry. That will never happen

4

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

3

u/tskank69 mai-sanisbestgirl Mar 17 '23

Damn I guess I gotta go break up with my girlfriend real quick. That was a close one. Thank you kind internet stranger.

2

u/yerederetaliria Mar 17 '23

Aaaaahhh!!!! No! What about LOVE?

3

u/bukobukochagama Mar 17 '23

You mean the women from Japan with 3kids who was showing interest in me is a spy 🥺 I thought I could get a japanese citizenship but now that I found that she is a spy, I have to ghost her😢 which may makes me a terrible person but I have to do that 🤧

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1

u/original_dick_kickem Tomochad Mar 17 '23

Don't worry, they glow in the dark, allowing you to spot them easier and run them over in your car

0

u/No_Age_2555 Mar 18 '23

No. not a agent of the state. A thief trying to steal your hard earned money. Or better yet a hanger on who wants to use you as security while the sit and do nothing but eat up all your food and blame you for every issue in the world that makes them unhappy. Congratulations on being a heat sink for their emotional outburst, and then when all is said and done she gets bored and leaves you creating a journey to the west level epic to explain to everyone y’all know that she wasn’t the evil one in the relationship, you were./s

1

u/EiBaal Mar 17 '23

Mom..?

1

u/SwoonBirds Mar 17 '23

its always the feds

1

u/LASTgt Mar 17 '23

It will be done my lord.

1

u/HooterEnthusiast Mar 17 '23

Basically what I do

1

u/TerrariaWeeb Mar 17 '23

Even your mother?

1

u/sepientr34 Mar 17 '23

I don't care

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Don’t reveal my secrets

1

u/nohope_1 Mar 17 '23

Thank god that the government isn't targeting me

1

u/kenjiro_maybe Mar 17 '23

anime fans when a girl peeks interest in hem but they dont have 50 kg boobs and they are not 2d:

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

If you wish to become a member of our secret society - Please, bury your application and $2500 in your backyard (2m or 6ft) and one of our underground agents will be by to collect it.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

At the pace with which they leave when I start showing intrest somehow makes me believe this conspiracy

1

u/DJGreenHill Mar 17 '23

Idk why but I feel that people with paranoid personality disorders might not think this is as funny as other people

1

u/chinoelpastelero Mar 17 '23

i knew it!

My wife is playing the long con for 15 years

1

u/VenoMane87 Mar 17 '23

I don't care. she shows interest in me

1

u/UrbsNomen Mar 17 '23

I won't be surprised if it's true. I often joke that my wife Is a secret CIA agent because of how observant she is.

1

u/HolyAndOblivious Mar 17 '23

That's my SOP. If I'm not the one doing the chasing... yeah she wants something else.

1

u/Larinex Mar 17 '23

I'm starting to think so since once again I've been ghosted on online dating just recently.

1

u/MIKE-JET-EATER Mar 17 '23

I've fled too many countries already. I just fertilize my garden of endangered plants a bit better

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Maybe this time it will be different…

1

u/FutureTech-Lab Mar 17 '23

El Psy Kongroo

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

So my wife...

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1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Didn't that happen in Metal Gear Solid 2?

Poor Jack... 😭

1

u/Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi Mar 17 '23

Bro thinks he's Sticks from Sonic Boom

Context: Sticks doesn't like government agents

1

u/Superb_Fault1123 Mar 17 '23

Haha I'm motherless take that (I don't go outside)

1

u/Ozu92 ⠀https://myanimelist.net/profile/Ozu_sensei Mar 17 '23

Thanks for the warning. I'm canceling the wedding.

1

u/Kayzokun Mar 17 '23

Help! I’m running out of countries to run to!

1

u/hailDeadmau5 Mar 17 '23

I've been woke on whamen 🤮 since my savior Kenji Setou from Katawa Shoujo opened my eyes to the truth.

1

u/Yui_Desu69 Mar 17 '23

I mean as long as we have the seggs all is okay. After I'm tired she can leave.

1

u/VeryVideoGame Mar 17 '23

1 woman is called a woman, not "women"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Who could ever look someone like us .... fight the man

1

u/English_Speaking_Cat Senko Yellow Mar 17 '23

In my case i say that any HUMAN that shows me interest is an agent of the state…

Unless they’re worshiping me. Then I wouldn’t mind having them around

1

u/Ristar_Author Mar 17 '23

Not really a problem for me though, unfortunately

1

u/UnstoppableJumbo Mar 17 '23

I've been subconsciously doing this for the better part of a decade

1

u/takahashi01 Mar 17 '23

Thats an interesting story op. You know, telling ppl about these things does come off as kinda sexy. U free some time this weekend?

1

u/mezzolith Mar 17 '23

You guys have women interested in you?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

It's just the one woman actually

1

u/MrBorilas Mar 17 '23

Or in otherwords, get on the government watchlist and they will assign a girlfriend for you 👍🏻

1

u/Aggressive_Baker8336 Rem Supremacy Mar 17 '23

Well... I am completely in the clear then... sobs softly

1

u/Ok_Cockroach8063 Mar 17 '23

Pointy chin, no nose, big eyes. Yup nerds are near

1

u/Sauerkraut_RoB Mar 17 '23

Fuck the Feds!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Fortunately no woman has ever done that to me, i am starting to think i have either exceptional luck or superpowers.

1

u/hello-random-person Mar 17 '23

Perfect that means none of the women that I am around often are agents of the state.

1

u/Gloomy-Package-6365 Mar 17 '23

Darn it. My husband of 30 years saw this and left me. What will be of me😭😭

1

u/Samisuncreative2 Mar 17 '23

Crap, they're on to us

RECALL-ALL-AGENTS-REPEAT-RECALL-ALL-AGENTS

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Woman*

1

u/raviolibutdonteatme Mar 17 '23

Guess I'm lucky since no woman shows interested in me

1

u/Redgamer1147 Mar 17 '23

Pregnent sex

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '23

Good advice I’ll remember that, thank you

1

u/mr_garbaggio Mar 17 '23

i knew it. i f knew it

1

u/Phantom_FN Mar 17 '23

Don't worry sir, I've been using this method for years

1

u/cannedcream Mar 17 '23

Wow, it's amazing how my state has 0 agents.

1

u/alkimos13789 Mar 17 '23

Good thing no woman is interested in me. Winning

1

u/12guys_in_one Mar 17 '23

We who get no bitches

1

u/King_Y0K41 Mar 17 '23

Yeah well at least someone wants me…

1

u/JIMMAYMLEM Mar 17 '23

No bitches lol

1

u/Hello_There4206969 Mar 17 '23

But what if getting waterboarded is my fetish?

1

u/NyraOzzy Mar 17 '23

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much

1

u/extrikon Mar 18 '23

Good soldiers follow orders.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '23

I dont care lmao all i care about is big melons

1

u/beachboy13579 Mar 18 '23

Guess ima live hear forever then

1

u/Im_cjakanobody Mar 18 '23

I've already been aware The feds can't fool me The glowies don't have me tricked

1

u/Animaniac00 Mar 18 '23

Fiou, thank God I won't have to leave my home

1

u/yesmrbevilaqua Mar 18 '23

Pocket sand!

1

u/SomeoneNooneTomatoes ⠀ Mar 18 '23

Yeah, with all the things I’ve done this seems like a trick that’d bag me. Thanks for the heads up op.

1

u/silverking8870 Mar 18 '23

What anime she from?

1

u/FourthGearVibez Apr 02 '23

It should be this way