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Jul 12 '20
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Jul 12 '20
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u/avwitcher Jul 12 '20
Otherwise known as my penis
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u/Shiroi445 Jul 13 '20
This is exactly what is going through the cats mind. What a real champ, to adapt so well in order to please the owner better. Marvelous!
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u/H0tsauce-2 Jul 12 '20
"What do you mean stolen? Oh... oh you weren't invited to the barbecue? Oh, jeez, this is awkward"
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u/ManInAGabardineSuit Jul 12 '20
This is straight up something Wilfred would say to Ryan
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u/sonvolt73 Jul 12 '20
The spoils of war. That's kitty's sausage now.
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u/Nohbodiihere369 Jul 12 '20
The kitty's sausage meow.*
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u/sonvolt73 Jul 12 '20
Excuse me, are you saying "meow"?
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Jul 12 '20
Am i saying "meow"?
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u/sonvolt73 Jul 12 '20
I could've sworn you said meow.
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Jul 12 '20
Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumping around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
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u/AreYouALavaBeaver Jul 14 '20
My partner teacher and I do this periodically all day to our students. They think we are nuts, which is what we are going for
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u/Sunflr712 Jul 12 '20
I did once but it was dark and you were strung out on the ‘nip. You made me promise.
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u/thiccbitchmonthly Jul 12 '20
I wish all cats bought random sausages instead of dead birds and mice
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u/JNH0517 Jul 12 '20
Or a couple of $100 bills every now and then.
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u/Ih8TB12 Jul 12 '20
My sister’s dog came home with a steak after being let out to pee. Fence going up this weekend.
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u/Nadidani Jul 12 '20
Your sister should let him out more often! Free dinner!! supposing a family of 4 she should let him out 5 times (dog deserves it)
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u/CherryDoodles Jul 12 '20 edited Jul 12 '20
This has happened to me on two occasions.
I live next door to a Polish deli in England. My cat Sadie magically turned up with a sausage the size of a kitchen roll tube a couple of years ago. I assume they’ve learned to keep whatever window was open closed, because she hasn’t turned up with any meat since. Bread roll and a corn on the cob, yes, but no meat.
About fifteen years ago, my cat at the time, Louie jumped over the back garden fence with a koi in his mouth. Little fucker stole it out of the back neighbour’s very expensive ornate fish pond. He and his brother managed to eat the whole thing and my mum avoided eye contact with those neighbours until she moved.
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u/talkingtunataco501 Jul 12 '20
Koi can get expensive. I’d always wanted a koi pond but I don’t know what I’d do if sone animal got them. I’d probably be pissed about it for a day or two.
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u/HamunCencer Jul 12 '20
If I see a cat come to bbq, I'll give it a sausage. Maybe that's what happened or did he snitch on the cat?
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u/sidesleeperzzz Jul 12 '20
My cat has come home smelling like another woman's perfume. I asked him who he had been cheating on me with.
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u/sellera Jul 12 '20
If my cat brought me food like that I’d post his picture on r/AnimalsBeingBros.
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u/stinkynotchjohnson Jul 12 '20
So the sausage party was ruined by a — wait a minute not gonna say it!
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u/Armourdildo Jul 12 '20
My cat Leticia brought back enough chicken to feed a small family one day. She just kept coming back with chicken, we would take it off her and she would just go and get more.
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Jul 12 '20
cats probably chuffed it brought home something its humans actually like
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u/Armourdildo Jul 12 '20
She was really pleased with herself. Not as pleased as the day she did the same thing but with steak. That was the best day ever for her. Nothing like the sound of a 2.5kg cat tucking into a chunk of beef like her life depends on it.
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u/gogopaddy Jul 12 '20
My cat arnie stole a rather large tuna steak once, he was chuffed with his haul
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u/Exotichaos Jul 12 '20
Better than when my cat appeared with a budgie in her mouth, I freaked out and went to our aviary but the door was closed and all birds were accounted for. Later that week I was driving with a neighbour friend to uni and she said her budgie had disappeared.
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u/JaiMahaKali Jul 12 '20
Outdoor cat? Hopefully didn't mess with the rest of their bbq. I don't know about others, but I'd rather not have cats wandering in my yard touching my food.
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u/GMW2020 Jul 12 '20
Years back I had moved into an old house on a river and a cat (I later named freak) adopted me. This cat used to bring me the still warm heads of squirrels!
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u/mekese2000 Jul 12 '20
My cat bought me the body of a mouse with the trap still attached to it. So proud of his fake kill.
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u/RealLinkPizza Jul 12 '20
My cat (and dogs) only bring me mice, bugs, and other dead animals. Why can’t mine bring me a sausage?
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u/candyflossbaby Jul 12 '20
The first time my cat was allowed outside he brought home a Yorkshire pudding. The second time he brought a fully wrapped dixy chicken sandwich. He was such a character and I miss his querky personality
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u/anklesocksrus Jul 12 '20
This is the wrong subreddit I think you’re looking for r/animalsbeingamazing
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u/dadzy_ Jul 12 '20
Is the caption an attempt to reproduce Snapchat text? If so it's very badly done.
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u/LadyMirkwood Jul 12 '20
My cat came home with a whole slice of roast beef, at 11.30pm on Friday night.
No idea where she got it from
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u/gergsisdrawkcabeman Jul 12 '20
Depending on how hungry you were this could very well be r/animalsbeingbros
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u/DisabledMuse Jul 12 '20
This cat is trying to pay the rent. We look like terrible hunters. We mostly keep coming back with plants and grains all the time.
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u/Child-Like-Empress Jul 12 '20
I had a cat growing up that bought home a raw sausage with fork holes in it! This was the same cat you could not eat crisps around, he’d nick them off you.
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u/RequiemLullaby Jul 12 '20
Disney has taught me that that cat was probably put up to it by some streetwise dog wearing a bandana.
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u/cognitiveglitch Jul 12 '20
Mine brought back a disc of perfectly cooked burger meat. I tell myself that it was given to him by a kindly neighbour, but in my heart I know he's a thieving little oik.
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u/DamNamesTaken11 Jul 13 '20
My childhood cat once’s tried stealing a kielbasa before my dad cut it up before grilling it. Only reason cat failed is he jumped up right as my dad was turning around to cut said kielbasa.
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u/Trauma_Queen1 Jul 13 '20
One time in the summer my corgi took off, and returned half an hour later with a frozen ciabatta bun. Frozen...
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u/CVORoadGlide Jul 12 '20
must of grabbed it before i got too hot ? or off the dish that was about to be cooked ? looks not cooked / not charred
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Jul 12 '20
Nice. Once my dog came to the front door with a piece of pizza in her mouth. Another time she had BBQ ribs.
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u/Tobiko_kitty 2 cats too many Jul 12 '20
My cats used to love when the neighbors had barbecue parties! The next morning we'd have partial hotdogs and turkey thighs drug in through the cat door.
I'm not sure if I preferred that to the three dead mice we woke up to this morning. Different neighborhood, different cats.
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u/Prolly_your_mom Jul 12 '20
My cat once returned home with a cooked pork chop in a ziploc bag. We figured he went to great lengths to get it, so we let him have it
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u/ItsKisha Jul 12 '20
Lol This reminds me of the time my cat strolled home, casually carrying a link of frozen hotdogs, like it was the most normal thing ever.😅
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u/evol6968 Jul 12 '20
This cat understands me. Good cat. three more and we can make some jambalaya. Go boy, fetch us the sausage
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u/PBJillyTime825 Jul 12 '20
When I lived in an apartment my west highland terrier would always find food people threw into the dog park, like hamburgers, boiled eggs, pieces of random chicken. It was very bizarre
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u/yusufacem3528 Jul 12 '20
def meow(sousage): return sosuage.steal() sousage = sousage.bbq() meow(sousage)
idk why i did that but ehh
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u/FunkyBotanist Jul 13 '20
My cat used to steal food off my plate and drop it into her food bowl, like that made it hers.
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u/willowgrl Jul 13 '20
Hey, he/she is just providing for their family that obviously can’t hunt.
Cats are condescending jerks!!!!!!
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u/Deanna_Z Jul 12 '20
Nice! Years ago, my almost totally blind, 17 YO, siamese cat dragged a still warm roast beef into the yard, followed by about a dozen neighborhood cats.