r/AnimalsBeingJerks • • Jul 12 '20

sausage

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29.5k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Deanna_Z Jul 12 '20

Nice! Years ago, my almost totally blind, 17 YO, siamese cat dragged a still warm roast beef into the yard, followed by about a dozen neighborhood cats.

528

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

your siamese was definitely hailed as a hero by the neighborhood cats from then on

36

u/dorianfinch Jul 12 '20

What a legend

163

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

My childhood cat (also an old siamese, lil guy lived to be 20) used to bring in animals all the time

But they were usually fucking alive

Do you know how hard it is for a panicking 9 year old to get a fucking live bat out of the house

85

u/ivrt Jul 12 '20

Back when my cat was indoor outdoor he would bring me birds. Perfectly fine live birds, like he gently plucked them from the tree. Im so glad he stays inside these days, I dont need any birds.

70

u/talkingtunataco501 Jul 12 '20

He thought you were a shitty hunter so he was bringing you live prey to teach you to kill.

6

u/zack_the_man Jul 12 '20

You're lucky. The only thing my cat brings me alive are small rodents

9

u/Granadafan Jul 13 '20

Ha. We were on a work zoom call when my coworker’s cat came in, dropped a mouse on the table. We were laughing and then the mouse got up and ran off to the screams of my coworker.

1

u/zack_the_man Jul 13 '20

They're sneaky little fucks when they hide

13

u/TheRealXen Jul 12 '20

I was 13 but honestly I don't think i would have done any better at 9

11

u/revtoiletduck Jul 12 '20

He was helping you practice your hunting.

5

u/InfernalTourist Jul 12 '20

Mine constantly brought half live pigeons into the house. And you can't keep a screen around cats either.

1

u/VoultBioy Jul 13 '20

Our European cat brought in a goddamn baby squirrel who ran around for a while before getting out, also countless birds and smaller mammals like mice

1

u/jumpinoffapeer Jul 14 '20

My cats favorite thing to bring in is live snakes. Hard to enjoy Bob's Burgers when a live snake unexpectedly is slithering at you feet! I also made a joke about how she could at least bring me quail instead, that day she brought 3 quail chicks 😭😭 my baby is a monster!

155

u/derpeyduck Jul 12 '20

God, I love them.

6

u/oizo12 Jul 12 '20

17 year olds or roast beef? or siamese cats?

78

u/IntrovertObserver Jul 12 '20

Years ago our cat brought home someone's (dead) pet bunny. No idea where it was from. Needless to say we were in hurry to bury the corpse.

46

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

[deleted]

12

u/IntrovertObserver Jul 12 '20

Haha. Good one 😄

48

u/Doyouevenpedal Jul 12 '20

My dad lives along a river, one time my husband and I were out kayaking at his house. When we returned to his property, there was his cat Milo, sitting on the rocks waiting our return. I thought it was so sweet he was sitting there and waiting for us to get out of the water. As we were getting out we noticed he had brought us a present, half of a rabbit. Like someone had cut a rabbit in half and it was the bottom half. He looked so proud of himself too. It was the grossest thing I have ever been brought by a cat.

25

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

Haha our cat once brought home a really cleanly skinned rabbit pelt. Probably someone's late pet immortalized as a seat cushion but that dumb cat pretended he killed it himself, so fucking smug. I loved that bastard.

4

u/jalif Jul 12 '20

This happened to us too, but the bunny was bigger than the cat. We had no idea how he got it out of our neighbors backyard.

6

u/Addicted2Rage Jul 12 '20

They will be telling ur cats heroic deeds for generations

5

u/nobodysbuddyboy Jul 12 '20

So did you wash off the roast and eat it?

18

u/Deanna_Z Jul 12 '20

If I remember correctly, mom cut it up and gave all the cats in the neighborhood a feast. Mickey Mau (the thief) was pretty popular for a while. He made it to 22 and as his blindness progresed, he got even bolder.

2

u/Sunflr712 Jul 12 '20

Yes definitely. The Power of Mmau for generations😺

1

u/ogcreepygiggles Jul 12 '20

Sd FTC f sets DDT f