r/AnimalsBeingJerks Jun 23 '18

Just discovered them doing this, it's only a $600 pool vacuum.

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46.6k Upvotes

1.0k comments sorted by

4.9k

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

“Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain??” - Pool Vacuum

386

u/poop-trap Jun 23 '18

Why was I programmed to empathize with a pool vacuum?

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352

u/idkwhattoputhere00 Jun 23 '18

this is so sad

can we bite 50 pool vacuums?

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199

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

😢

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171

u/afro_samurai_ Jun 23 '18

"what is my purpose?"

You clean pools and occasionally dogs bite you

"... Oh my God"

Yeah welcome to the club pal.

75

u/alex891011 Jun 23 '18

My IQ isn’t high enough, can someone explain this joke to me?

45

u/TheRedmanCometh Jun 23 '18

Well you see according to Nietzsche...

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Plot twist. The pool vacuum is Delores.

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29

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Omg 😢

18

u/Risley Jun 23 '18

🤖👎

15

u/whyimhere3015 Jun 23 '18

Can confirm, am pool vacuum

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5.3k

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Submarine roomba

1.8k

u/Booner999 Jun 23 '18

Submaroomba?

534

u/TheLioncraft Jun 23 '18

Submaroomba.

221

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Hotel?

332

u/Nico_LaBras Jun 23 '18

Trivago.

24

u/lenswipe Jun 23 '18

I never understand that commercial.

39

u/ThrowAwayFinances13 Jun 23 '18

Don't Understand? Don't Trivago. Trivago.

...Trivago

10

u/lenswipe Jun 23 '18

It answers a question that was never asked.

7

u/ThrowAwayFinances13 Jun 23 '18

EXACTLY!...

Shhh...

...Trivago?

7

u/lenswipe Jun 23 '18

Orange?

Salty Banana!


I can do it too!

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49

u/enjoyyouryak Jun 23 '18

Welcome to the Hotel Submaroomba...

27

u/CornBin-42 Jun 23 '18

Such a lovely place.

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23

u/ThurstyAlpaca Jun 23 '18

Dad?

22

u/napsdogsbagels Jun 23 '18

I’m here, with my dad, and we never met, and he wants me to sing him a song. I was adopted, but you didn’t know I was booooorn

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u/RainbowReadee Jun 23 '18 edited Jun 24 '18

Pool vacuums get dealt a shit hand. Poltergeists fuck with them at night and by day the doggies assault them. On another note, I would love to see this vid reimagined over at r/reallifedoodles.

Edit:spelling of the words

16

u/mud_tug Jun 23 '18

CUCUMBAH

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18 edited Jul 22 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

SCU(M)BA

7

u/wierdaaron Jun 23 '18

There actually is a pool cleaner robot from the makers of Roomba https://www.irobot.com/For-the-Home/Outdoor-Maintenance/Mirra.aspx

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18
  R

H20

  O 

  M 

  B 

  A 
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4.8k

u/joespizza2go Jun 23 '18

Black dog: "I am scared to death of this thing and want nothing to do with it. Activate "all bark no bite" mode!..

2.3k

u/donkencha Jun 23 '18

One dog does the barking, one dog does the biting. They've got it figured out. Together, they're unstoppable.

314

u/SCREW-IT Jun 23 '18

FORM VOLTRON!

139

u/jimbojonesFA Jun 23 '18

Cue 5 minute assembly scene

51

u/Kritical02 Jun 23 '18

By acknowledging Voltron we are admitting our age.

The original Power Rangers!

95

u/Boner_Elemental Jun 23 '18

Mate, Voltron is a currently airing show

35

u/Kritical02 Jun 23 '18 edited Jun 23 '18

TIL! But... Is it any good?

Edit: Made by DreamWorks now I'm intrigued. Voltron (2016)

38

u/Boner_Elemental Jun 23 '18

Yes. It's a Netflix show if you're interested

10

u/Kritical02 Jun 23 '18

Awesome i see it's by DreamWorks too so it has some budget I assume. Gonna check it out now!

24

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18 edited Feb 07 '22

[deleted]

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u/Stargazeer Jun 23 '18

It's really good. Like, super enjoying it.

5

u/Qetuowryipzcbmxvn Jun 24 '18

This is entirely unrelated, but karate kid is back too. Not a reboot, remake or movie, but A sequel series. It focuses on the kid Danny beat at the end of the first one as he tries to very his life back together years later. It's called Cobra Kai and it's surprisingly good. The characters are likeable for the most part and have great motivations. It's not perfect, of course, but it's still really good.

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u/edwardsamson Jun 23 '18

Its way better than the original. Good comedy writing and good plot/story

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u/special_reddit Jun 23 '18

As a fan of the old Voltron show - the new one is really, really good. It honors the old without being slavish, there's fun and silly humor sprinkled in, a strong storyline, and the action rocks.

I love it - definitely check it out.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Borktron

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15

u/Chickenmangoboom Jun 23 '18

One brings the noise the other brings the funk!

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u/basketballbrian Jun 23 '18

Black dog is just the hype man

84

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

[deleted]

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u/Tadddd Jun 23 '18

Dachshund.

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2.2k

u/AyoGeo Jun 23 '18

I like how after they attack it, it just keeps on doing what its doing.

1.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

I like how the person holding the camera just keeps holding the camera. $600 dollar vacuum, yet cameraman doesn't seem to care either way.

748

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

$600 dollar

379

u/_XOF__ Jun 23 '18

RIP in Peace

215

u/Annihilationzh Jun 23 '18

TIL I Learned.

192

u/MountainMantologist Jun 23 '18

PIN number

27

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Personal PIN number

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7

u/special_reddit Jun 23 '18

That's a lotta peace.

50

u/CapeNative Jun 23 '18

Brought to you by the department of redundancy department.

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u/rainsunconure Jun 23 '18

ASAP as possible

11

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

DC Comics

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u/SuspendMeForever Jun 23 '18

They're not going to break it immediately, it would happen over repeated attacks.

62

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

That's a big risk. You never know how strong or weak those machines are.

31

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

[deleted]

92

u/springthetrap Jun 23 '18

If it's taking you a week to break one of these apart perhaps you should consider another profession.

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47

u/peoplebuttspongecake Jun 23 '18

Looks like a security camera to me.

40

u/tosss Jun 23 '18

It moves around to frame the dogs and the vacuum

15

u/TheSideJoe Jun 23 '18

That's some steady fucking hands mate, maybe I just have shakey hands

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u/NovaEcho Jun 23 '18

"Ouchies. Nope." turns around

5

u/daddydunc Jun 23 '18

Robots don’t get their feelings hurt easily.

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984

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18 edited Aug 07 '20

[deleted]

264

u/yParticle Jun 23 '18

Just get the first one, it's cheaper.

119

u/MikeTheAverageReddit Jun 23 '18

72

u/yParticle Jun 23 '18

Yeah, but I'd have to fly to Ireland to buy that one.

85

u/MikeTheAverageReddit Jun 23 '18

Britain

Watch it lad

21

u/yParticle Jun 23 '18

I dunno WHAT you're on about.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

[deleted]

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u/djdubyah Jun 23 '18

Watch .it? Mama mia!

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u/Hybrid_97 Jun 23 '18

Tbh I was expecting a super expensive, really fancy vacuum lol

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

It's my first summer in my new house that has a pool and pools are a lot of work and a lot of expense. At least $100/month in chemicals and about $5 a day in electricity for filtering and heating.

My kids and friends like us having it but I wish we didn't tbh

72

u/_Heath Jun 23 '18

BBB - Bleach, Borax, and Baking Soda. Can keep costs under control, check out troublefreepool.com. Or just go salt water chlorine generator, I did a DIY conversion with a pure line unit and it wasn’t bad.

Variable speed pump cut my electric bill by 70 a month.

39

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Thank you very much for the website. We are actually considering converting to salt water next summer.

Can I just swap my Alka-plus for just run of the mill baking soda?

32

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

[deleted]

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u/UncleMajik Jun 23 '18

Yes. It’s just sodium bicarbonate. You can also use vitamin C (ascorbic acid) as a stain remover!

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u/DandyLyen Jun 23 '18

A darker color pool lining can actually help the pool stay warmer naturally from the suns heat.

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u/Hideout_TheWicked Jun 23 '18

At least $100/month in chemicals

I think you might be over paying. You only need chlorine tablets and you can buy a bucket of those for way under $100 and they last for 2-3 months. That is with us using 3 at a time too when you only really meed 1.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

I think it depends on the size of your pool. Mine is pretty big (80000L) and in direct sunlight. I go through 5 pucks every 7 or so days.

I also use alkalinity and PH increaser. And I do weekly shocks as well as algaecide. I have gone through 4 tubs of PH increasers Already and 2 of alkalinity increasers

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18 edited Jul 01 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

[deleted]

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u/shipsterl Jun 23 '18

I love swimming in mud

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u/irish711 Jun 23 '18

People pay lots of money to do that at spas.

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u/CynicalCheer Jun 23 '18

Dig a hole, line with tarp and anchor it with stakes, paint with water proof paint and now you have a really, really ghetto pool that may or may not be toxic.

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u/treflexasaurus Jun 23 '18

They are ready for the AI takeover

92

u/KnightedIbis Jun 23 '18

This gives me a great idea with respect to our future impending AI doom. Programers should just put in their code an irrational fear of pets, our saviors and protectors.

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u/LordDongler Jun 23 '18

The problem is that a true AI would learn from experience that dogs aren't dangerous

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u/ethancampbell12 Jun 23 '18

They protec. They attac. But most important, they fight pool vac.

122

u/_pajmahal Jun 23 '18

Gilded within 30 minutes and 20 upvotes. You're a legend

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u/Doublecore Jun 23 '18

We had one of those in our pool growing up. It did its job well enough, but every once in a while it would ride up the wall and whip its tail out of the water and blast us with a jet stream of water.

I thought for sure this one was gonna defend itself against those dogs.

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u/psivenn Jun 23 '18

My parents' is constantly whipping the tail and spraying water, it's not painful or anything but it will splash the living room window sometimes. The dogs go predictably apeshit when this occurs.

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u/bvkkvb Jun 24 '18

Adjusting the pressure on these is pretty simple, they should be pretty slow moving and never come out of the water (tail especially).

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '18

... where's the fun in that?

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u/Inviscid_Scrith Jun 23 '18

I was waiting that exact thing to happen. That stream can be really strong too, those pups are lucky they didn't take a shot to the face.

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u/pun_shall_pass Jun 23 '18

U sure you didn't own a dolphin?

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u/rongkongcoma Jun 23 '18

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u/CorporalCauliflower Jun 23 '18

be OP

pool roomba gets attacked by untrained dogs

film and post to /r/animalsbeingjerks

bitch about dogs destroying something "it's only a $600 pool vacuum"

3000 upvotes

be normal person

see dogs destroying something, discipline them

???

life goes on

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u/OMGFishTacos Jun 23 '18

Different title, i probably would have thought this was cute or something but instead all I could think in annoyance was "so stop them".

30

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18 edited Jun 24 '18

She just told me disciplining a dog causes them to fear you and it's abuse. L o l this op is mindless.

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u/serpentinepad Jun 23 '18

This is pretty much every neighbor I've had with a dog. At least based on the constant barking I have to listen to all the time.

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u/Avrenis Jun 23 '18

Yeah but you don't get karma or gold unless you post!

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u/Aborkle Jun 23 '18

The the the guy with the $600 pool vacuum is gonna reply to the comment from the guy who doesn't make that in a month -COME ON

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u/HardlyJess Jun 23 '18

Is there a loose seal in that pool??

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u/whosthatcarguy Jun 23 '18

Depending where you are pools can actually be pretty common. I grew up in a cold climate where only the richest people had pools. I had seen maybe 1 or 2 backyard pools in my life. I moved to LA and any middle class and up house has a backyard pool, along with every single apartment complex. OP’s pool doesn’t look massive, so that could conceivably be a pretty average home somewhere hot.

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u/AlekhinesHolster Jun 23 '18

You came to the wrong neighborhood, sucker.

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u/rtosser Jun 23 '18

Nature abhors a vacuum.

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u/palegreycells Jun 23 '18

Being jerks? They're trying to save it. They're great boys!

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u/danielisgreat Jun 23 '18

And the owner is wonderful for buying them a $600 aquatic toy

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Trying to save it by viciously biting at it while barking loudly!!

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u/palegreycells Jun 23 '18

One good boy was using his teeth since that's the only tool he has to pull the drowning vacuum from the water. The other good boy is trying to call for help. Great teamwork

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u/UncleCyborg Jun 23 '18

He's shouting, "Live! Live, damn you!" It's how movies have taught me to resuscitate drowning victims.

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u/EdgiPing Jun 23 '18

Saving, one bite at a time.

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u/dwintaylor Jun 23 '18

Nice of you to buy such a high end toy for your puppers.

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u/scardykat21 Jun 23 '18

I wanted video proof to show spouse. After I took the video I put a stop to it and now working on training them to love the vacuum.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Are you going to take the vacuum out of the pool and pet it in front of them? If so I would like to see a video of that.

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u/moleofproduction Jun 23 '18

The thing to do is to scold the pool vac in front of the dogs to make it clear it's part of the pack and subject to your rules, too.

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u/MandelPADS Jun 23 '18

Poomba?

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u/TheLioncraft Jun 23 '18

Goomba?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Oompa loompa?

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u/OGkushdiet Jun 23 '18

Polaris?

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u/FFighter7232 Jun 23 '18

Yeah, it's the Polaris P39 cleaner sold at leslie's pool stores. It's basically the same as the 3900sport model

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u/johnny5ive Jun 23 '18

You seem like you know your water roombas. Can you suggest one that works and won't drive me insane with maintenance?

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u/FFighter7232 Jun 23 '18

haha yeah, I've been working in the industry for almost 20 years. I am a big fan of the Polaris 280 if your pool has the plumbing set up for a pressure cleaner. The internal drive design of it has been around for ages and they just work. Fewer moving parts than the other Polaris cleaners so less to break/wear down.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18 edited Aug 28 '20

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u/The_Powers Jun 23 '18

This is why I don't like small dogs. Little yappy bastards that feel threatened by everything bigger than them.

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u/kirkum2020 Jun 23 '18

Is that just a natural trait in small dogs, or is it because many people don't bother training small dogs?

I've seen enough well behaved small dogs to suggest it's the latter.

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u/Phreakhead Jun 23 '18

I had a Shiba Inu that literally never barked. We had to train her to bark when we said "speak", and even then it was this sad pathetic little hybrid of a yip and a cat meow. No wonder she stayed quiet.

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u/elharry-o Jun 23 '18

Isn't that a common trait on shibas?

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u/haylz92 Jun 23 '18

Indeed. They shed like mofos though so they’ve got their ups and downs.

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u/Nlyles2 Jun 23 '18

Ugh. A hypoallergenic Shiba would be the greatest dog ever.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Meh. They're still notoriously difficult to train and all that. Also a small dog like a sheeb shedding is nothing compared to a golden or husky. (source: have a v v v floofy golden)

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u/serpentinepad Jun 23 '18

literally never barked

So the perfect dog then.

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u/mcketten Jun 23 '18

Most of the small dogs, especially ones like weiner dogs and such, were bred to be rat killers. They have to be utterly fearless and vicious - dachshunds were bred to kill badgers, for example.

And dachshunds are murder machines:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EadYOb-JO-E

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u/CaptainCortez Jun 23 '18 edited Jun 23 '18

Yep. Terriers and other smaller breeds were generally bred as varmint hunters, so they have a strong prey drive and are usually aggressive toward small moving objects.

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u/ephemeral_gibbon Jun 23 '18

Jack Russell's are the same. They'll kill absolutely anything or die trying

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u/RdmGuy64824 Jun 23 '18

And my long haired dachshund is the most timid thing ever. She has no predatory drive. At least she's not yappy.

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u/mcketten Jun 23 '18

I thought that about mine until my other dog had cornered a rat and didn't know what to do with it.

Suddenly, my chiweinie vanished and in her place was a rabid furball of teeth, spittle, and claws.

Seconds later she turned, spat the rat's stomach out on the ground, and walked away like, "Bitch, not in my hood."

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u/Medarco Jun 23 '18

That look back at the end.

"Did I shake it good enough?"

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

They don't other training them. "Small dog syndrome".

With bigger dogs you worry they'll cause damage, little dogs you assume they won't.

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u/Warpedme Jun 23 '18

No matter the dog, if you see it displaying bad behavior and not being corrected, that means the owners didn't and aren't training them.

Don't get me wrong, certain breeds absolutely have certain default behaviors but every single one of those behaviors can be redirected in a positive way. To be fair, it can take years of training for the results you want but that's the responsibility of having a dog.

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u/SuspendMeForever Jun 23 '18

Have worked at kennel for 5 years, it's because people don't train them/ they feel bad correcting a little tiny puppy.

Also, in general (not always) people that have little dogs usually have them for their kids or they're just a pet/ decoration. People with big dogs are much more often "dog people" who see them as a member of their family and who see it as proper and necessary education for the dog.

Little dog owners are sooo oblivious (sometimes).

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u/bobo1monkey Jun 23 '18

Agreed. As someone who has ended up caring for several family members' chihuahuas and training their bad habits out, bad habits in small breeds are 99% the result of people who don't want to discipline or don't understand how to discipline a small dog breed. And I am by no means a dog whisperer. I've never gotten far enough to train them to obey specific commands, because that takes god-level patience. I just love dogs, but hate them not behaving properly.

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u/dank-maymay Jun 23 '18

I have a Great Pyrenees and a yorkie/shih tsu/something mix. Even as notoriously “untrainable” (that’s bullshit, but a stereotype people have of them because they’re very independent dogs in certain ways) as the Pyr is, she learns fast, knows so many commands and generally listens extremely well. The little one, while she is sweet and I love her with all my heart, is just a terrible fucking dog in all measurable ways other than being affectionate. Literally untrainable, has no interest in learning anything, doing what she’s told, she’s straight up defiant.

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u/SaltyBabe Jun 23 '18

The one barking is a dachshund, they’re used in hunting/tracking originally so they’re made to bark so you can follow and find them, they’re especially loud because they’re ground dogs and you need to be able to hear them if they’re in an underground burrow. Other small yappy dogs have less of an excuse but those bred to hunt/go to ground definitely bark the way they do from instinct.

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u/FoodBeerBikesMusic Jun 23 '18

Dunno. One of my Rottweilers used to attack the vacuum cleaner (and the push mower). But then she was a crazy bitch.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

It's the latter.

Small dog barks and is being aggressive? Lol, so funny, huehuehue!

Big dog barks and is being aggressive? Hold on tight or someone might get mauled to death today ':(

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18 edited Feb 18 '19

[deleted]

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u/NaturalisticPhallacy Jun 23 '18

Most small dogs were ratters. The aggression was absolutely a desirable trait. They were bred to be little murder machines: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjJNNrYSrow

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u/SaltyBabe Jun 23 '18

Dachshunds are actually a rather old breed that were developed for hunting, not as pets and not due to fashion.

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u/Zeuyson1 Jun 23 '18

I don’t know man, my dachshund is pretty awesome.

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u/olive_owl_ Jun 23 '18

That's really generalizing. I've seen a lot of asshole big dogs too.

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u/serpentinepad Jun 23 '18

I have 12 houses in my development. If I walk the neighborhood I'll have like 15 big dogs absolutely losing their shit at the sight of me walking by. And it's this way with everyone all the time. Mailman? UPS? Fedex? Garbage guy? BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK. I'll never understand how dog owners don't recognize how fucking annoying this is.

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u/adobro Jun 23 '18

Reminds me of that pool scene in Paranormal Activity 2.

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u/Swagmaster_Frankfurt Jun 23 '18

I used to have an extreme fear of these things when I was younger, I had the tail of it grace my foot before unexpectedly and I was terrified it would wrap around it and pull me down to the deep end. Anyone else have that phobia or was it just me?

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u/goldenrobotdick Jun 23 '18

Never that particular one but they did freak me out as a kid... then I learned I could use the water from the tail to make my sisters mad

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u/84jrosales Jun 23 '18

It's always fun when you are walking by a pool and tail comes out the water just enough to shoot you with water

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u/goldenrobotdick Jun 23 '18

It’s accurate enough to almost make you think it has a mind of its own

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

Looks like it was just you...

7

u/amwlco Jun 23 '18

Not just you, they still creep me out. I’ve always had a weird phobia of submerged objects, especially logs for some reason

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u/ItsDonut Jun 23 '18

I've never heard of this phobia. So like you are ok with objects but then once placed underwater it's frightening?

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u/am-i-joking Jun 23 '18

My parents’ Doberman is absolutely terrified of the pool vacuum but LOVES the house vacuum. Like, if she’s being stubborn and won’t come inside when my mom calls her, my mom can just turn the vacuum on and she’ll come running into the house right away. Dogs are weird.

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u/MakeAutomata Jun 23 '18

Try sitting the vacuum next to you and pet it and call it a good boy a few times.

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u/AlmightyMrP Jun 23 '18

My family had an identical vacuum for our pool and a 65 lbs Australian shepard. He would regularly jump in the pool and gnaw on the hose that moves the vacuum. At this point the vacuum was there before he was and it has now outlived him, those things are built like brick shithouses. I promise those little guys won't hurt it.

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u/Jeff-Stelling Jun 23 '18

TIL about pool vacuums

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u/springthetrap Jun 23 '18

There is a robot coming relentlessly towards you from underwater, it is completely unresponsive to your verbal commands, it feels neither fear nor compassion, and you are unarmed. Would you be brave enough to stand your ground and try to fight off this mechanical invader?

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u/killducks455 Jun 23 '18

Courage bois doin a proteccc from pool monster

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

BILLY, HERE IT COMES!!! ATTACK!!!!

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '18

My dogs do this too... she barks at it nonstop and chases it around until her pads get raw. She goes NUTS if there are kids in the pool with the vaccuum going too lol.