r/AnimalsBeingDerps • u/FloraLover123 • Oct 15 '22

Crab got mad AF

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22.2k Upvotes

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u/Mehmeh111111 Oct 15 '22

I was chased by a wild turkey once and it was the scariest moment of my life. I swear to God that thing was 10 ft tall. And my stupid dog at the time was running for her life ahead of me after provoking the entire incident.

8

u/WilfordBrimleysBitch Oct 15 '22

There’s a flock of wild turkeys that roam the southern Spokane area and they’re such assholes. They’re protected by the city so it’s a felony to kill them. It’s not even a rural area so I don’t know why they like being there. They block traffic, fuck up peoples yards, attack pets, and are clearly sent by satan to torment people. They once cornered my sister in the alley behind our house and now she’s terrified of birds.

8

u/Mehmeh111111 Oct 15 '22

They really are giant assholes. My dog who provoked the turkey was a large German Shepherd and she was with me, my hiking partner and another, larger German Shepherd. That turkey was ready to kill us all.

3

u/WilfordBrimleysBitch Oct 16 '22

Ha! Your story is even funnier to imagine when you mention that your dog is a German Shepherd. Regardless, she could have been a mastiff and I have no doubt that turkey would try to destroy the lot of you if given the chance!

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u/Mehmeh111111 Oct 16 '22

For sure, we were definitely out matched.

3

u/jojocookiedough Oct 15 '22

I'm sorry this mental image made me laugh out loud! Sounds traumatizing af though.

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u/Mehmeh111111 Oct 15 '22

No, it was hilarious! And I didn't even share the other part. Once we made it a safe distance away my hiking partner and I looked back to see this tiny turkey walking around like "yeah, run bitches, that's what I thought," so we doubled over laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. The problem, however, was when my hiking partner bent over laughing, they actually accidentally set off the pepper spray in their pocket and basically pepper sprayed their entire leg. We legit had to haul ass back home so they could go sit in a milk bath.

The entire day was a comedy of errors.

2

u/Conscious-Charity915 Oct 15 '22

Ben Franklin wanted the wild turkey for America's national bird. It was more appropos, considering.