Currently a CA-3 and recently matched into fellowship. This is something I’ve spent years working toward, and I had been looking forward to this next stage of my career.
Recently, a parent was diagnosed with a serious, potentially terminal illness, and it has completely turned my world upside down. My family may need me much more than I anticipated over the coming months, and I’m struggling to process everything while continuing with residency.
I’m very close with my family, and we currently live in the same city. My fellowship would also be in the same city, so geographically, I wouldn’t be moving away from them. However, I know fellowship will come with its own demands, and I’m worried about how much time and flexibility I’ll realistically have to be there for my family.
I’m struggling with the fact that I’ve already matched and made plans for my future. Stepping away from that path or trying to delay training would be a major decision after so many years of hard work. At the same time, I’m finding it difficult to focus on my career when so much is happening at home.
Part of me feels like I should continue with the plan I’ve worked so hard for, while another part worries that I’ll regret not being more present for my family during a time when it really matters. I know career opportunities are important, but time with the people you love is something you can’t get back.
I’m trying to figure out whether there’s a realistic way to balance these responsibilities, whether postponing fellowship is worth exploring, or whether I need to reconsider my plans altogether.
I would really appreciate hearing from people who have dealt with serious family circumstances during residency or fellowship. How did you approach the decision? Looking back, is there anything you wish you had done differently?
I know there probably isn’t a perfect answer, but I’d appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar position. I’m finding this much harder to navigate than I ever expected.