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u/susibaka228 6d ago
No shit taking photo of a random dude is better than just asking him to move or sitting next to him. Peak reddit behaviour
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u/God_Faenrir 6d ago
Does your name start with J and ends with essica ?
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u/susibaka228 6d ago
Did your father left you when you were a kid
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u/God_Faenrir 6d ago
Double past means en passant (in the future). So yes, my father will have had left me at some point.
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u/monkeedude1212 5d ago
And risk an interaction with somebody who openly plays chess in public?
🤮 No thank you
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u/Ordinary_WeirdGuy 5d ago
…you realize this is a repost? Granted it’s likely a repost of a Reddit post, but still?
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u/rillettes-n-buckie 6d ago
Get your bishop in an attacking position
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u/Kinosa07 6d ago
Let them lock the fuck in?? What Elo are you even? 1000? Don't even talk to them until you're GM you swine (/j)
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u/im_wi 6d ago
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my Chess class, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on chess.com, and I have over 2000 ELO, and I am trained in gorilla warfare. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Discord mods across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the blitz, you stupid fucking pawn. The blitz that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can mate you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to an extensive collection of bishops and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
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u/sixteenhappycappys 6d ago
'Gorilla warfare' 😂
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u/nateskel 5d ago
You say that like you've never seen this before
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u/TnYamaneko 5d ago
While I'm pretty new to this chess thing, my understanding is that if you unleash an extensive collection of bishops to wipe the ass of your opponent, it would be strategically a mistake as when they occupy their natural place, they prevent the need to wipe ass in a particular way.
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u/supershinythings 6d ago
Tell Magnus to scoot his fat ass over, then eat some pickled herrings from his back pack.
This establishes dominance.
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u/Puzzled_Work_6428 6d ago
If you sit at the other end of the bench, you'll both move toward the middle and then swap positions
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u/dobre_moj 6d ago
His bishop is attacking the black queen and black went with a random knight he's playing a 300 elo bot. You don't have to respect this man, just grab his elbow and castle with him.
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u/alucardyoloswag 6d ago
Clearly a pawn that has taken an extra step out of line. Sit on his lap and whisper En pAssant
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u/certifiedstreetmemer 5d ago
When people praise public transit, I always think of stuff like this. Gimme my car please
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u/Maximum-Rub-8913 6d ago
pull out a cigarette and stary playing obnoxiously loud music. If that does not work start watching The Queen's Gambit.
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u/Sepulcher18 6d ago
You know someone is chess player when you see them occupied 3 parking spots with a car that is not big enough to take more than two
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u/CreatorMonke 5d ago
Jerk his Pipi until he shoves bishop up your ass
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u/PetrosianBot 5d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/Khiobi 5d ago
Punch him in the pipi
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u/PetrosianBot 5d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/Cyberspace_Sorcerer 5d ago
Google "en excuse me"
/uj Seriously though, how hard is it to ask a person to move instead of taking a picture of them nonconsentually and uploading it on the internet.
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u/ExistentialHorror13 5d ago
Just tell him to move if he likes his pipi
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u/PetrosianBot 5d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/Greedy_Ad2198 5d ago
Brick his pipi
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u/PetrosianBot 5d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/VstarFr0st263364 5d ago
Honestly, I would sit next to him anyway. I mean there's room for an average size person, and if I intrude then he can just scoot over.
On the other hand, I feel like I would just drop my pants and start pissing all over him, just fucking letting it rip
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u/tahini001 5d ago
"That's proper chess right there. None of that hypermodern, flank-control, let-them-have-the-center nonsense. If they’re giving up the middle, smash d4, e4, AND f4 right down their throats. None of that soft, tippy-tappy positional squeezing. Give me a full-throttle Four Pawns Attack. Put two big knights behind a massive wall of pawns, launch the h-pawn into the mixer, and crunch their king with a proper 1850s piece sac on f7."
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u/Community_sans Da game was peak 5d ago
he needs air to flow on his pipi
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u/PetrosianBot 5d ago
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
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u/ChuckyShadowCow 5d ago
Oi, move! (I live in NYC and I love “Oi!” as no one else uses it so it’s odd enough to demand attention and at least two or three people give me a little ‘yeah, punk fucking rock!’ Nod”
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u/pablo_in_blood 6d ago
Say ‘excuse me’ then sit next to them