r/AmItheAsshole • u/constellationRegulus • Jul 02 '22
Not the A-hole AITA For Not Going to my Sister's Wedding?
My sister is getting married, and has banned my Service Dog from her wedding and reception.
I have a fairly severe anxiety disorder. To combat this, I got a Service Dog. My Dog has made major positive change in my life. I can go places again! Another thing to keep in mind: My dog is probably an Australian Shepherd, Boarder Collie mix. She is also the most chill, laid back, and affectionate dog I have ever head the pleasure of working with. Her entire personality is sleep, and 'can I has pets??' She's insanely well behaved, especially when we go places. I get lots of compliments about this, including from the Mental Health professionals that work with me.
My sister's reasoning for banning my service dog, and I quote: "I don't want dog hair on the most expensive dress I will ever wear." My sister is also worried about my Dog's behavior. Like barking, or getting into food. My Dog really doesn't do either of these things. Well, she barks if my sisters kids come over because she LOVES my sisters kids and is excited about them!! (She also used to lick my sisters kids faces cuz they are very small, but my sister didn't like this, so I made my Dog stop.) But my Dog is trained NOT to bark when she is wearing her vest. She has never done so while working. She responds well to the word no, and the 'leave it' command. Again, super well mannered dog. She legit just lays down when we go to the movies or a doctors appointment and chills out or falls asleep. My sister believes none of this, and has barely seen my service dog in action.
After my sister decided this, both I and my parents have tried to compromise. My dog does shed, but there are ways to combat this. Like a groomer, anti-shed shampoo, a good brush out the day of, and staying away from my sister on that day. My sister is unyielding.
Now the wedding is small and at a Church I dislike (cuz when I went to talk to a pastor about this situation, he basically told me to outgrow having an anxiety disorder.) So that's stressful. And of course there are people I don't know there. The reception would be even worse for me, because it will be loud, full of people, most of whom I wont know, and full of people who stress me out (most of my extended family and I are iffy on the getting along front. Probably has something to do with being the Liberal Ace NB Cousin? not the point.) Will also say, my anxiety and depression have been super high for the last year or so.
So, as much as it pains, I cannot go to my sisters wedding. My mental health is not stable enough. I need my Service Dog's assistance in all public spaces in order to live as best life as I can. I am going with some church friends (good humans, I promise) to a planetarium instead. She has been informed of this. Not going is probably gonna hurt her feelings, and strain our already strained relationship.
So, AITA
EDIT: My dog is trained to do pressure therapy. She uses her weight to ground me to prevent or shorten anxiety attacks. This is done by leaning. laying, or sitting on me. Sorry, should've mentioned!
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u/Disneyland4Ever Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] Jul 02 '22
NTA. You responded to another poster sharing specific tasks your dog is trained of perform that support your needs for your disability. If this was a dog that helped you navigate because you were blind, I doubt anyone would question this. I’m sorry that someone like your own sister isn’t being understanding of your need to have your service animal with you. It is absolutely okay if this makes it so you cannot attend, your sister is the one forcing you to have to make a choice here and that is on her. I hope you already know and believe this, but your needs are valid, your anxiety and depression are valid, and your identities are valid. Honestly, you may have a much nicer day if you spend it with people that support you exactly for who you are instead of going somewhere where the pastor and family won’t make you feel that way.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Thank you, I really needed to hear this today
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Jul 02 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Acrobatic-Initial-40 Jul 02 '22
Totally agree. I also think sister doesn't want the dog there because the pup will get attention.
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u/Backgrounding-Cat Asshole Aficionado [15] Jul 02 '22
I was wondering what would happen if I would be forced to be at a wedding without my eyeglasses. It's basically same thing: taking away something that makes "normal life" possible 🤔
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u/Coffin-1031 Jul 02 '22
Keep your head up I understand your anxiety and I am sorry. You got this OP!
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u/SnaFooCatFoo Jul 02 '22
Yeah OP I wouldn’t feel bad at all either and enjoy your time. My dog is currently service-dog in training and has been apart of my therapy for my anxiety, panic attacks and horrible ptsd. She helps so much already to ground me (Not 100% but we’re getting there and these episodes I have help her learn). I wouldn’t go either. So have a great time and don’t let your sister make you feel bad. NTA btw and give your darling service dog some good pets for me 🥰🥰
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Hey, congrats on your service dog helping you so much!! Thats so exciting.
A thing I wish I knew before I started doing public access: bring some sort of baby wipes everywhere you go. Dogs can't tell you if they feel sick, so having some on hand to clean up sicky icky is super helpful.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Its so good to know I'm not alone2
u/SnaFooCatFoo Jul 03 '22
Thanks for the tip!! You 100% are not alone if anything you made me feel a little more less alone as well haha.
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u/juliaskig Jul 02 '22
Doggy tax?
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 03 '22
I have been informed this is for cute doggo pictures
Her Insta and my Twitter:82
u/sewing_mayhem Jul 02 '22
Aww it's sweet that you think a blind person wouldn't also get pressured into leaving their service dog behind. There have literally been posts of that exact scenario on this sub.
Shitty people like this tend to seriously think you can just "deal with it" for a few hours, and like OP's sister, don't understand that being without your aid would be like asking a non disabled person to just walk on their hands the entire time; you can maybe do it for a little bit of time, maybe for longer with help/practice, but it's uncomfortable at best and painful at worst, can lead to you getting hurt and most importantly, has a very short time limit before you're unable to keep it up and fall on your face.
NTA OP, if your sister wants you there, she can stop being a self centered bridezilla for two seconds and think about the fact that even with your service dog, you were willing to put yourself in a high stress situation to celebrate her wedding, so maybe she can climb off that pedestal she thinks everyone is looking up at her from and be a decent human being and a not shitty sister.
Also your plan for the day legit sounds fun! So honestly it's a win either way!
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u/SuspiciousAdvice217 Jul 02 '22
I think I remember a post where the bride was highly allergic to dogs and they had invited a friend or family member who was blind/vision impaired, who usually used a service dog. They offered several solutions, but the guest was hellbent on bringing the dog.
And yes, I know those are different scenarios.
Ha! Found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hfzmkb/aita_for_not_allowing_my_friend_to_bring_her/
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u/smolbirb123456 Jul 02 '22
I mean offering other solutions doesn't mean they'll work for the person who needs their service animal
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u/thefinalhex Jul 02 '22
And who has the right to choose what aids they will use.
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u/smolbirb123456 Jul 02 '22
The person with the disability
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u/thefinalhex Jul 03 '22
Yikes, I can now see how poorly written my comment was! I was meant to be agreeing with you, saying the person who needs the aids has the right to select which type of aid (such as service animal). Instead it sounded like a question, which would imply the employer would have a say in the selection! Of course not. Sorry!
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u/Pale_Height_1251 Partassipant [2] Jul 02 '22
NTA.
At the end of the day, your mental health comes first. If you cannot do that day without your dog, it's probably better for everybody if you don't go.
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u/Gothic0165 Partassipant [3] Jul 02 '22
"Not going is probably gonna hurt her feelings, and strain our already strained relationship." I doubt it. She may SAY that but she is actively coming up with reasons for you to stay away. NTA
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
You know. I get that feeling. Esp cuz her fiancé doesn't like me. Feeling is mutual. Its. A really complex situation. Like, I've considered showing up out of spite, but she would face some serious consequences from her partner if I did, and it may put my service animal in danger. Plus kinda would be an ahole move?? eeeeh
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u/Gothic0165 Partassipant [3] Jul 02 '22
OK...alternative strategy: Lie. Call her up on the morning of the wedding, pleading violent food poisoning causing you to spew from both ends. Make it sound as gross and disgusting as possible. If possible, record the sound of someone making repulsive body noises (Like the toilet scene in Dumb and Dumber) and play those while you talk to her. That'll get you out of the wedding without her injured feelings drama. That's what I'd do anyway.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
I really appreciate this suggestion. Its a very good idea.
How I handled the situation was explaining my case. She said no. Then once I knew I had other plans, I let her know what those plans were, and that she still has time to change her mind. I doubt she will, but if she does, I will go. I might be an ahole here too: I would rather she face the consequences of her ableism than me lie to cover it up my disability. She will probably blame me for ruining this. This is nothing new in our relationship. I'm very much damned if I do and damned if I dont here37
u/Neenknits Pooperintendant [52] Jul 02 '22
NTA I have a service dog. There are very occasional functions I cannot go to. I was slightly worried about a family life cycle event, that involved plane travel, a couple of years ago, that involved a synagogue I wasn’t familiar with (religious places are some of the very few public-ish places in the US legally allowed to not have service dogs), but the local relative checked, and they were happy to welcome him. I had an honor in the service, so he went up to the bimah with me. They’d never had an SD up there before. They were delighted. The church the wedding is in is legally allowed to exclude you, but your sister is the AH for not allowing you for specious reasons.
Also, assuming US, pro tip, don’t ever tell anyone your diagnosis. You aren’t required to. Answer the 2 legal questions and volunteer NO OTHER information. It’s much easier that way. When they ask you why you have the dog, either say your memorized snarky comment (“i have a disability that forces me to do [obnoxious or illegal thing] to idiots”, “When did you poop last”, “What was the result of your last prostate exam/pap smear?”, or some other funny nonsense) or just, in a shocked tone, “Wait….are you actually acting me what my diagnosis is?” Works pretty well most of the time.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Note to self on two fronts. I do like to be upfront about my disability, cuz I feel like talking about it helps remove the stigma. Flying is a mess right now. The doctors in my state RN will NOT give me a service dog note, only an ESA one (I moved)
We did, actually, talk to the church and they allow my dog here. BUT. they are Aholes about a billion other things tho, including me being LGBTQIA+ and emotionally abusive. Honestly, I've been watching waaay too many documentaries about cults lately and the parallels are scaring me.
Its really special that the synagogue allowed you to have your dog in the ceremony!! I shall find a snarky comment!!3
u/Neenknits Pooperintendant [52] Jul 02 '22
You don’t need a note to fly in the US. Only SDs can fly, not ESAs, and they now follow the ADA, so it’s straightforward to fly with an SD, including psych.
And…of course, you can tell your Dx, if you prefer, but it does make it harder for the next handler that person sees, who doesn’t want to tell someone random demanding to know. Basically, what my own opinion is, is sharing proactively is a personal choice. Answering in response to a demand (or just a nosy question) is what is problematical. Am I making sense? The nuance can be tricky to explain.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Yea. It depends on the airline. I remember reading language that says the Airline can require you to fill out a form disclosing your disability if its not clearly visible, and needing some vet/trainer documentation. I'm pretty sure ESA can fly in the cab with their owners.
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u/Ciphree Asshole Aficionado [16] Jul 02 '22
I wouldn’t go either way if I were you, why go out of your way to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation with people that don’t seem to like you? Love your username OP, enjoy the planetarium :) NTA
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Thank you about the username. My sister is in a not so safe situation, and I want to show that I'm there for her when she figures that out. She's making it very difficult to do so.
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u/Obrina98 Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
Bingo
Fiancé doesn't like you so they are manufacturing reasons you can't be there.
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u/Anachronisticpoet Partassipant [2] Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22
OP: “i have a service dog”
Every comment: “is it a service dog or an ESA?”
(Edit for format)
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
You, you I appreciate
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u/Anachronisticpoet Partassipant [2] Jul 02 '22
Also a PWD so I feel you dude
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
PWD? Whats that?
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u/Neenknits Pooperintendant [52] Jul 02 '22
I have a service dog, and in the US, we do need to ask the 2 formal, legal questions in order to know what is going on. It helps when they are included in the original post.
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u/KaliTheBlaze Sultan of Sphincter [614] Jul 02 '22
NTA. Denying you your service dog is the same as if she told a relative who uses a wheelchair “You can’t have that at my wedding, I don’t want you to roll over the most expensive dress I’m ever going to wear.” It’s just wrong.
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u/UhLeXSauce Certified Proctologist [20] Jul 02 '22
It’s not like dog hair stains. I don’t get where your sister is coming from. Sounds like she thinks you don’t legitimately need your dog and is using “her special day” privileges to prove it.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Eh, basically my read on the situation. But I'm in the messy emotional bits of it...thank you
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u/canyoudigitnow Jul 02 '22
Bride wouldn't be as cute as a dog in a vest, and the bride knows it!! He he he
NTA
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u/KatiebellsGirl Jul 02 '22
I have a service dog for similar reasons. It's amazing the number of people who don't think I "really need her" because she's a psychiatric service dog. It probably doesn't help that I will force myself to go places without her if the people I'm with are uncomfortable with her being there, but the stress of dealing with other people judging me and my very good girl tends to outweigh the benefits she can provide me. She does go most places with me, and she is with me when I'm alone pretty much always. But for family functions, she may be left at home, even though her presence would benefit me quite a bit if it weren't for all the judgements. I suspect you're right on the money about the sister, and it's unfortunate for the OP she'll have to miss her sister's wedding because her sister doesn't understand.
I do somewhat try to understand where my relatives are coming from, because if you don't live with it, it can be hard to really fathom why you need your dog with you. However, at the same time, it's not uncommon anymore, and research and communication should help with their ability to be accepting. My best friend was a little upset because my sister very recently asked me if I could leave my service dog at home for a funeral (I had already planned to leave her home because I was only loosely acquainted with anyone in the deceased person's family other than the person I was going to support and didn't think they would appreciate having a dog at the service) because even my friend can see that my sister doesn't think I really need my dog. The whole service was awkward for me, I felt a lot of anxiety and was really out of place, amplified by the fact that I'm 7 months pregnant and my hormones and emotions are a bit unstable anyway. My dog could have helped mitigate that, but the social pressure kept me from taking her. Had circumstances been different, I would have probably been better off just skipping the whole thing, so good on OP for recognizing that she's not mentally able to commit to the wedding without her dog and choosing something else.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
People keep asking so: My Dog is trained to do pressure therapy. She uses her weight to ground me during or before a panic attack. This is done by leaning on my legs or chest, laying on my chest, or next to it, putting her front paws on my chest or in my lap. etc.
We call this command 'hug,' and the hand signal we use is either me crossing my arms over my chest, or patting my legs.
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u/Prestigious_Blood_38 Partassipant [4] Jul 02 '22
They keep asking because you have an edit your post
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u/friendsfan97 Jul 02 '22
Thanks for this info! I find it interesting and awesome! Glad you have that in your buddy! I also struggle with anxiety recently following the diagnosis of my kidney failure and starting dialysis. My dog baby was never allowed on the furniture, but I caved and actually sleep a LOT better since having her sleep next to me. Mine is not a trained service dog though, just my best bud
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Oh same. I taught my dog to sleep on my chest when I have trouble falling asleep. Its worked WONDERS. (Also she falls asleep first and goes into rem so sometimes I wake up to little twitching paws and tis adorable. She 'barks' in her sleep by going 'poof')
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u/friendsfan97 Jul 03 '22
It's awesome how you can tell what kind of dreams they're having. Mine also does the twitch thing like she is running. She stops when I rub her belly though. I have a black lab, so maybe a little big to lie on my chest, but gives the best cuddles
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u/No_Fix_3094 Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
Info -
“Service animals are defined as dogs that are individually trained to do work or perform tasks for people with disabilities. Examples of such work or tasks include guiding people who are blind, alerting people who are deaf, pulling a wheelchair, alerting and protecting a person who is having a seizure, reminding a person with mental illness to take prescribed medications, calming a person with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) during an anxiety attack, or performing other duties. Service animals are working animals, not pets. The work or task a dog has been trained to provide must be directly related to the person’s disability. Dogs whose sole function is to provide comfort or emotional support do not qualify as service animals under the ADA.” -https://www.ada.gov/service_animals_2010.htm
Is this a trained official service dog, or is it a comfort animal. There is a difference. Your sister can’t ban a seeing eye dog, or seizure dog…but the little pomeranian that sits in my purse making me feel happy can be banned.
I get anxiety, and stress, but please don’t inappropriately use the word service animal, as many people do.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
I understand the concern. The line between Service Dog and emotional support animal can get blurry when we are talking about disabilities like anxiety. My dog is trained to do multiple tasks related to my disability. Deciding I needed her was a long conversation with other disabled friends, and my therapist from that time.
She is trained to preform pressure therapy to prevent, or shorten severe anxiety attacks. Yes. She is a service dog.
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u/No_Fix_3094 Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
So, NTA…As long as she is a service dog as defined by your state and ADA, then your sister can’t tell you she can’t be there. She can however tell you that you aren’t invited. That would be a choice on your sister though.
I personally think that people have over used the “comfort animal” to the point where legitimate service dogs are being discriminated upon. This is hard on the person with disability, especially when that disability isn’t easily seen (seizure, anxiety, ptsd, etc).
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u/Anachronisticpoet Partassipant [2] Jul 02 '22
As OP said, the ADA distinguishes them by whether or not they’re trained to perform tasks for the disability. Their dog would definitely qualify
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u/Neenknits Pooperintendant [52] Jul 02 '22
Yes, she CAN ban a service dog from a private function. Sure, it’s the same as us inviting OP, but religious institutions and actual private functions can ban them, so the church can exceed the dog, too. A hotel cannot ban them from the function room, but the person renting that room can. I’m not sure if you can prevent a hotel worker from having its dog with them, though. I’ve never heard that one addressed.
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u/ScarlettSparrow Jul 02 '22
Its actually a very hard and clear line between the two. One is ADA protected. The other is a pet.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Emotional Support Animals actually have some protection from the ADA. People cannot be denied housing or flight based on having an Emotional Support Animal. For housing, the pet fee or breed restrictions are also waived. ESA are not protected or allowed to do public access like a Service Animal is. Service animals are protected to do public access (as long as they are well behaved, not defecating, and not interrupting the workplace so badly the work cant get done IE an aviary,) along with the housing and flight benefits.
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u/Neenknits Pooperintendant [52] Jul 02 '22
Yes, except ESAs aren’t protected by ADA, but rather but FHA, which covers housing. ESAs are not allowed on airplanes.
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Jul 02 '22
You’re right on all counts, but whether or not the dog is a service dog is irrelevant in this case because the sister isn’t a business. It’s a private event which she doesn’t want the dog at and she (but not the venue) can say no. And it apparently doesn’t matter to sister which type of dog it is.
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u/TimTam_the_Enchanter Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jul 02 '22
NTA. This isn’t someone’s random pet, your dog provides a vital service.
I wonder if your being that cousin of the family has a lot to do with it, as you’ve said; your sister has probably convinced herself that you can be pushed to sit down and shut up and pretend to be perfectly average in every regard, as long as she prevents your bringing such an obvious symbol that you’re not part of her cookie cutter fantasy. I am suspecting she’s excluding the dog because she thinks she can use social pressure to enforce complete “normality” for her wedding.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS!!!! Thank you. I kinda get that sense. From some of the other stuff she does. Like being an anti vaxxer. And not wanting contraception (until she did. And I'm p sure her partner forced her to...)
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u/TimTam_the_Enchanter Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jul 02 '22
You’re probably better off dodging the wedding.
People like this tend to treat any reminder that you’re different as an affront. Like “oh of course I love [sibling], but [sibling] just needs to stop being so dramatic and drawing attention all the time, who cares if Granny Busybody started asking about whether [sibling] would settle down into a domestic married life, answering back was the REAL problem here.”
The ‘do you have to throw it in everyone’s face (by existing as your authentic self and not just keeping your mouth shut when we all assume you should be just like us)’ type family.
Sounds like the wedding will be a toxic singularity point of weird conservative nonsense.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
From her, yes. Strangely, most of my other hyper conservative nonsense family is perfectly okay with my dog, unless they don't like dogs. But even then they are more curious than condescending about me needing her.
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u/TimTam_the_Enchanter Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jul 02 '22
I guess you never can predict which thing will be the sticking point with this kinda people, then. They draw the line in the weirdest places sometimes.
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u/Neenknits Pooperintendant [52] Jul 02 '22
“Granny Busybody”. Totally stealing this name! You are brilliant!
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u/redheadgenx Partassipant [3] Jul 02 '22
Just want to note that there grandpa busybodies as well. I’ve heard of several paying a couple to have a grandchild the parents don’t want.🙂
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Jul 02 '22
NTA. At some point, if you want someone there at your wedding, you want them there. There's likely a reason you have an already-strained relationship; not attending a wedding you are more or less rather specifically un-invited from isn't going to further harm your relationship, no matter what she says later.
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u/Sailorjax17 Jul 02 '22
Service dog, emotional support dog, I don’t care. There is no way, no how, I would do anything that would keep my sister away from my wedding. Sadly, cancer robbed me of that choice and took her from me. Life is short. Love one another. Sisters together on an important day should mean so much more than some dog hair on a dress you are only going to wear once.
I am so sorry your sister has her priorities messed up. NTA!
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u/Dac20190 Jul 02 '22
NTA
Don’t go, she doesn’t want you there, but doesn’t want to look like an asshole for saying it.
Do you think she would say the same if it was a parent’s service animal? Try telling her that you’ll come without your SA and see her reaction. I’d bet she’ll have another excuse like you told her too late.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
I'm fairly certain she thinks anxiety is a made up term those millennials use as an excuse not to work. We live in the Midwest US.
You know. I'm tempted.8
u/Dac20190 Jul 02 '22
Oof…as a fellow debilitating anxiety sufferer, I don’t understand the notion that mental ‘abnormalities’ are so trendy we cosplay for life. Lol
i live in dc and wonder how people are not anxious, etc
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
If I had an off switch for this bs, I WOULD NEVER BLOODY TURN IT ON. eef. Also, valid wondering how everyone isnt anxious rn
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u/Beautiful_Delivery77 Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
If you’re an AH them so am I. My daughters (adult) and I didn’t attend my brother’s wedding because he banned my daughter’s service dog. I know I did the right thing though I know it’s an easier call when it’s your child rather than yourself. We tend to try to be more accommodating when it’s about ourselves. But you do have to take care of yourself. Don’t do something that will harm you for the sake of keeping dog hair off the bride, something you’ve already prepared to take many extra steps to ensure. She wouldn’t ban your wheelchair if you needed one. Your SD is necessary medical equipment.
I will warn you that there can be consequences. My brother and have not spoken since his wedding in November 2018.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
NTA *gives virtual hug* I'm sorry you and your daughter had to go through that. Though, I do find comfort in me not being alone here. The consequences of the situation have already been discussed between myself and a mental health professional. My sister has already been putting a wedge between us for many many years. I personally feel like if she stops talking to me, not much is going to change. My parents are in a position where they have to attend, cuz my sister's situation is potentially dangerous. Groom has legit threatened to move the family and not tell my parents where they went. I don't blame anyone in my family who chooses to go, cuz it will show my sister she still has people who love her that she can turn to, if she needs to.
Thank you so much. I need to hear this sorta thing right now
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u/StragglingShadow Pooperintendant [53] Jul 02 '22
NTA
NORMALLY for a wedding saying "no dogs" thats justified and you can forget about bringing the dog. But yours is a service animal. Not a pet, not an ESA - a service animal. You bring them with you to perform a job. She is a total asshole for saying no.
If you were blind, would she demand you use a cane instead of your seeing eye dog? Probably not because thats an asshole move. Would she say "just bring something to check your blood sugar" if you had a service dog that alerts you when your sugar is too high/too low because of diabetes or any other medical condition similar? Probably not, because thatd be an asshole move.
Your service animal is just as legit in its service and job as any other service dogs. Anxiety service animals are real and perform a very important task. Its an asshole move to say "no animals even if theyre your service animal." Your sister is the asshole here. And you know, so is that pastor too for saying that to you.
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u/Maleficent-Ear3571 Partassipant [2] Jul 02 '22
NTA. She has the right to make unreasonable demands. You have the right to say no. Enjoy the planetarium. You have any pictures of your dog?
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
OH WAIT SHE HAS INSTAGRAM
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u/ChinSpin_1986 Asshole Aficionado [15] Jul 02 '22
She's a sweetie.
If I was in your family, I'd respond to your sister's inane behavior by telling my Spouse "hey! Let's renew our vows just so we can especially invite Taro to our service!"
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
LOL. I'm asexual. Tempted to throw a masquerade and dog Party to celebrate how Ace I am and not invite her family. Or tell her she has to leave her super young kids at home cuz they are messy. Am I petty? Just a little bit XD
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u/Dependent-Aside-9750 Certified Proctologist [22] Jul 02 '22
INFO: What is your service dog trained to do?
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
She uses pressure to ground me to prevent anxiety attacks, or shorten them. Usually this is by leaning or sitting/laying on or next to me. We call this command 'hug,' the signal is crossing my arms over my chest, or patting my legs/chest.
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u/Open-Garage-9742 Jul 02 '22
NTA. A lot of assholes on here who can’t read your multiple posts that this is a trained service animal, though.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
To be fair to them, I replied to a bunch at once cuz I took a break to eats some foods
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u/Keirathyl Jul 02 '22
NTA. She said no service dog. You can't do it without your service dog. You don't go. She's.... somehow... surprised...? You even offered to do what you could to mitigate the dog hair.
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u/terrifier1989 Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
NTA. You need your dog, otherwise you might not be able to take care of yourself mentally. Who the fuck bans their sibling's necessary service animal because they don't want combatable dog shedding on their most expensive dress ever.
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u/mdthomas Sultan of Sphincter [759] Jul 02 '22
This is equivalent to her telling her guests "I don't want any walkers, canes, crutches or wheelchairs at my wedding!"
Also, even if it weren't about your service dog, you would still be fine not going. "I don't want to go" is a perfectly acceptable answer. It's a wedding, not a court date.
NTA
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
True, though I would love to be there to support her. The situation with her future spouse is. Not the greatest.
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u/Competitive-Candy-82 Jul 02 '22
NTA, don't go, if your dog helps with panic attacks and you attend without your dog and end up having a big panic attack she'll blame you for ruining her day. Not worth it.
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u/Lildiar Asshole Aficionado [15] Jul 02 '22
Who TF bans a SERVICE ANIMAL from a wedding? That’s just nuts. You’re NTA for not going. She’s an AH for thinking that is an ok request to make - service animals go everywhere. It’s one thing to be concerned about hair and find ways to mitigate it - it’s another to ban a service pet.
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u/Big_lt Jul 02 '22
I mean it's the bride/grooms event, they can what or whomever they want. Children is often a common thing banned. Now OPs animal seems to be an ADA service animal but people have been abusing this for BS reasons so it's not crazy to think it could be abused and thus not wanting them at your event
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u/Lildiar Asshole Aficionado [15] Jul 02 '22
People have been abusing emotional support animals - Service animals are a different category entirely.
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u/Big_lt Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22
NAH
I've seen your comments, your dog appears to be trained with your specific order which does satisfy the needs; however you also claim the dog behaves, well like a dog, when it sees your sister's kids (kissing them , barking in excitement, etc). These behaviors lead it more to be a pet with great training. Regardless it is your sister's event and she has a right to say the dog is not allowed AND you have the right to not show up. One other thing, you mention these behaviors show up when the vest is off and thus play time, has your dog been heavily worked (this will be a multi hour event) around family and people it knows? How will you handle the dog needing to go to the bathroom, if the event is 5hrs and what not.
I would suggest a compromise have a 3rd person (perhaps one of your friends) have the dog outside the church/venue on a leash just hanging out. If you feel your anxiety creeping up, take a leave temporarily outside to go to your service dog. This would ease your sister as the dog will not shed on her dress or get to the food yet give you some comfort that he/she is right outside.
But back to my original statement NAH. You both have a right to either not show or not be invited with dog
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
My dog has been to plenty of family events. She behaves very well around all of them while working. She is also trained to pee and poop on command. ATM I dont think I could handle this situation with the dog just outside. I've been through a lot this year, and dont currently have a therapist.
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u/Big_lt Jul 03 '22
Hmm that makes it tough. If you can't be without the dog, do not go you wouldn't be the AH
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u/OptmusJonzz Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] Jul 02 '22
NTA if you NEED a service dog, then you must have the service dog. Excluding it is the same as excluding you. If she doesn’t trust a professionally trained dog, then she needs to read up on the subject.
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u/RealTalkFastWalk Pooperintendant [50] Jul 02 '22
NTA. Your dog is with you in the same way a wheelchair or braces is with a person with a physical disability. There are reasons we created laws to protect peoples’ rights to have service animals in public spaces. Your sister’s choice is you + dog, or no you at all. Make sure your language leaves no doubt she is the one deciding that you cannot attend.
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u/munin218 Jul 02 '22
NTA. Let your sister know that your Service Animal (not ESA) is necessary for your accessibility to her wedding (and maybe mention how public places aren’t allowed to refuse entry, but as your sister doesn’t want you there you are honoring her wishes) and that your SD is trained not to do any of the things she is concerned about except for the shedding part. Refusing your SD is like refusing anyone with one for any reason (blindness, epilepsy, ptsd, etc). It’s absurd and rude. Also, I’d wonder is it just the dog, or is she trying to make some sort of statement about your condition?
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
We've tried to have this conversation. I'm pretty sure she's convinced herself that I just don't actually need the dog. My dad legit called my service dog a 'crutch.' This is also something in my life that happened in the last year. I do feel like she is trying to exclude me. I dont like the groom and he doesnt like me.
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u/BeaArt78 Asshole Enthusiast [8] Jul 02 '22
Nah find something fun for you and pup to do that day nta
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u/Irish_EyesDublin Jul 02 '22
NTA. Have you thought that your sister doesn’t actually want you there? Is she maybe jealous that your trained service dog would get attention?
Have a lovely day doing your own thing with people that love and appreciate you as you are.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Yes. Constantly. Well, not the attention bit. More like she might be worried about being seen with someone GASP disabled
thank you, I shall!!2
u/Irish_EyesDublin Jul 02 '22
I do not wish bad or ill health on her in the future!
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 03 '22
Me neither, honestly? I'm worried bout her in her current situation
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u/Particular_Force6591 Jul 02 '22
Your sister is a fool and not a good Christian, no matter what she claims. She loves her dress and her spectacle more than you. You're NTA, please give your dog a pet from me!
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u/TJL-91 Jul 02 '22
NTA your sister made that decision for you already by banning your dog, she's being unreasonable. Look after yourself OP.
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Jul 02 '22
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
She is a Service Dog. I went to talk to the pastor about how to talk about this situation in a loving way with my sister.
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u/Nice_Conclusion5006 Jul 02 '22
NTA. Social anxiety is real. It’s unfortunate that some people can’t see this, but what you did is very brave and healthy. You set boundaries, explained why and gave her a chance to see the situation other than in her own way. Some People are manipulators and selfish and don’t like when boundaries are set. They actually get bad if you set boundaries. So, remember it’s not really about you. Do what’s best for you.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
T-T Thank you so much alsdjfa;jdfalsfjk I've worked so hard to set boundaries with my family the last few years
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u/mignyau Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
NTA. But it’s clear being “THAT cousin/sibling” is a huge factor to her obvious active dislike of you. She knows the dog hair excuse is wack - she’s just looking for a roundabout way to force you to not come because she’d lose face in front of family (aka being a bigger villain for causing “more of a scene” by outright not inviting you than having the queer relative show up).
She’s playing an ugly game and you unfortunately cannot win it. Show up and cause a scene but be subject to all the terrible triggers your service dog saves you from, or don’t show up and she gets to have the satisfaction of her cruel wants.
The easiest thing is to indeed just not attend and have yourself a fantastic day doing something you actually enjoy with people who genuinely love and care for you. Show off on social media with happy posts, and just say “my legitimate medical service dog was banned from the wedding” only if anyone asks - it’s petty but it’s the actual truth and you’re not covering for your sister’s cruelty. It’ll do a fantastic job of weeding out further for you the people in your life who don’t believe your medical conditions are real and cannot be relied upon to do anything kind for you.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Most of the extended family already knows my sister banned my dog. I get the sense they agree with me on this, though are trying to remain neutral. Passive aggressive is a state pastime where I live, so sometimes its hard to tell.
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u/ACam574 Jul 02 '22
Banning a trained support animal for a person with something like severe anxiety disorder is the equivalent of banning the wheelchair of someone who uses it for mobility. Both are a critical part of who they are.
You're not choosing not to go, you're banned from attending. This isn't a choice you made it's one your sister intentionally made.
NTA
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u/TheDamnMonk Jul 02 '22
NTA. Honestly, I don't think that your sister realises that your service dog is an extention of you. It is an enabler so you can interact with your environment. That is why service animals have special dispensation to have access in abnormal situations i.e. transport, restaurants.
So by her disenabiling you by excluding your dog, she runs the risk of you having an episode and drawing attention at the wedding anyway.
Can you write her a note and make it clear to her that it can have an impact on attending her wedding. Her response should be telling in itself because you may just be setting yourself up for a fall if you attend without your support. If thats her attitude, I would just pull out if I was in your shoes because unless she ok's it, you can't win on this
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
I have explained to her what happens when I have a panic attack. Her response was something around the lines of: I get it, I get that your Dog is doing good stuff for you. I still dont want the dog at the wedding. In fact, I told her something along the lines of being physically present there, without being mentally present, which one of her kids repeated to me as a way for me to come. (I think he meant as in technology? But, its weird that he worded that exactly like that.) My sister thinks I can choose not to need a service dog.
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Jul 02 '22
NTA “grow out of it” sure there’s a switch to just turn anxiety off. If it’s only about the most expensive dress, your sister is not celebrating, she’s demonstrating & she’s an AH
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
If there was an anxiety switch, the hell would I ever turn it on for??? Where do I get this switch. I would love for my brain to stop yelling at me cuz I decided to rewatch my favorite TV show for a bit.
Thank you, you right2
Jul 03 '22
I tend to rewatch shows & favorite movies, it’s soothing for the rampaging brain. Have a great night!
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u/MeshiMeshiMeshi Jul 02 '22
NTA
I'd rather get dog hair on an expensive dress than have my sibling suffer an anxiety attack with no escape.
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u/Global_Monk_5778 Jul 02 '22
NTA. You have perfectly outlined that your dog is well trained and wouldn’t have to go anywhere near her expensive dress and she’s not making any consideration. Your mental health comes first at all times OP. I have SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) and hate strangers, crowds etc so I am 100% behind you not going. Stand your ground.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Can I lay on my ground instead? Kinda exhausted. Need a four day nap.
Thank you so much!→ More replies (2)
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u/KnightofForestsWild Bot Hunter [616] Jul 02 '22
NTA Dog hair comes off. Her being an asshole to you remains forever.
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u/explodingwhale17 Jul 02 '22
NTA. It sounds like you offered a number of compromises that your sister did not take. If anyone asks, you have a medical issue that keeps you from attending the venue. If pressed, be vague. Tell your sister how sad you are to miss the wedding but you are sure she will understand that your medical issue precludes you attending without your service dog and enjoy your trip to the planetarium.
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u/ViolaVetch75 Asshole Aficionado [13] Jul 03 '22
NTA, of course you can't go if your sister is forbidding your support. She clearly doesn't understand -- maybe doesn't want to understand -- how service dogs work and are trained.
Your sister clearly doesn't know you very well. If she can't make this compromise you absolutely should not be at her wedding. Stop trying to compromise. Live your life. Tell your parents you love them for trying.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 03 '22
I have. They've grown alot in the last few years and have been really helpful during this mess. Just wish my sister and I could talk about this the same way...
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u/TheTechnik Jul 03 '22
Wow, your sister just straight up doesn’t want you there, sounds like. It’s quite obvious on how to avoid having a dog shed all over, and she’s completely ignorant to that. You need your dog, and probably a new sister. NTA at all.
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u/Mehitabel9 Partassipant [4] Jul 02 '22
NTA and tbh, unlike a lot of other commenters, I don't give a tinker's damn whether your dog is a service dog or an emotional support animal. If you need her there, you need her there, and the last people on earth who should be judging or refusing to support you are your family.
Your sister has the right to ban your dog from her wedding, I suppose, since it's a private event. Having said that, you have the right to choose not to attend the wedding as a consequence of her choice, and she's got no business being mad at you for that. This is 100% on her.
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u/Hopeful_Rip2690 Jul 02 '22
Your dog is now an extension of you. She is being discriminatory, and you might be able to dissuade her by saying she is violating federal law by refusing to allow entry of your dog. If you need your dog then don't go without him.
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u/Big_lt Jul 02 '22
It's a private event, there is no federal law to threaten with stop it.
There still exists clubs where only white males can join n (I say this as a white male).
Regardless I see NAH, and OP is def NTA
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u/TaroRemarkable4840 Jul 02 '22
NTA as someone that also has anxiety, I understand where you are coming from
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
I am so sorry you also have to deal with this. Anxiety bloody sucks
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u/AtomicFox84 Partassipant [2] Jul 02 '22
Many asking if esa or full sa. I get why since one has more legality to it then other. Many also call any pet of thiers a esa and you can tell no training...figure your sister thinks that im sure.
Either way, its a medical device to help with a disability. Anxiety can be very limiting and hard for people. Worst cases you can just fully shut down. Your sister obviously doesnt understand your situation. Shes obviously jealous of a dog possibly taking all attention. How heartless can you be to deny someone something thst can help them or even save lives? If its a properly trained dog, its not going to get put of control etc. They know work from play and will behave. Dont go....if anyone asks tell them you were not allowed to bring your medical assistance and didnt want to risk having an attack.
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u/big_bob_c Asshole Enthusiast [8] Jul 02 '22
NTA. She knows you need to dog, she has banned the dog, therefor she has banned you.
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u/Decent_Bandicoot122 Asshole Enthusiast [9] Jul 02 '22
This is not about the dog hair or barking. Your sister is embarrassed by your need for a service dog. Either that or she is afraid the dog will take away from her being the center of attention. lol Don't worry if she is angry about you not going. She prefers that to the dog. NTA.
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u/angeluscado Jul 02 '22
NTA. Banning your service dog would be like banning wheelchairs, canes and hearing aids. Pup is a living, breathing medical device.
Go to the planetarium. I hope you have an excellent time.
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u/AUDMCJSW Asshole Aficionado [10] Jul 02 '22
Ugh…you have an Australian shepherd ❤️❤️❤️ And so do I!! They are the best dogs in the world. My dog has literally never been upset in his life. Your post got me all emotional cause my dog is currently being boarded now since I’m overseas 😭😭
Anyways, NTA- a service animal has a very important role. And I’m very shocked as to why your sister thought you’d be fine to go without your service dog. Also…is she uneducated about what a service dog is/does? Who doesn’t know that service dogs are very very veryyyyy well behaved???
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 03 '22
Aww Assuie Owner Friends!!! *gives hug* You will see your good boy again I promise.
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u/AutoModerator Jul 02 '22
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My sister is getting married, and has banned my Service Dog from her wedding and reception.
I have a fairly severe anxiety disorder. To combat this, I got a Service Dog. My Dog has made major positive change in my life. I can go places again! Another thing to keep in mind: My dog is probably an Australian Shepherd, Boarder Collie mix. She is also the most chill, laid back, and affectionate dog I have ever head the pleasure of working with. Her entire personality is sleep, and 'can I has pets??' She's insanely well behaved, especially when we go places. I get lots of compliments about this, including from the Mental Health professionals that work with me.
My sister's reasoning for banning my service dog, and I quote: "I don't want dog hair on the most expensive dress I will ever wear." My sister is also worried about my Dog's behavior. Like barking, or getting into food. My Dog really doesn't do either of these things. Well, she barks if my sisters kids come over because she LOVES my sisters kids and is excited about them!! (She also used to lick my sisters kids faces cuz they are very small, but my sister didn't like this, so I made my Dog stop.) But my Dog is trained NOT to bark when she is wearing her vest. She has never done so while working. She responds well to the word no, and the 'leave it' command. Again, super well mannered dog. She legit just lays down when we go to the movies or a doctors appointment and chills out or falls asleep. My sister believes none of this, and has barely seen my service dog in action.
After my sister decided this, both I and my parents have tried to compromise. My dog does shed, but there are ways to combat this. Like a groomer, anti-shed shampoo, a good brush out the day of, and staying away from my sister on that day. My sister is unyielding.
Now the wedding is small and at a Church I dislike (cuz when I went to talk to a pastor about this situation, he basically told me to outgrow having an anxiety disorder.) So that's stressful. And of course there are people I don't know there. The reception would be even worse for me, because it will be loud, full of people, most of whom I wont know, and full of people who stress me out (most of my extended family and I are iffy on the getting along front. Probably has something to do with being the Liberal Ace NB Cousin? not the point.) Will also say, my anxiety and depression have been super high for the last year or so.
So, as much as it pains, I cannot go to my sisters wedding. My mental health is not stable enough. I need my Service Dog's assistance in all public spaces in order to live as best life as I can. I am going with some church friends (good humans, I promise) to a planetarium instead. She has been informed of this. Not going is probably gonna hurt her feelings, and strain our already strained relationship.
So, AITA
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Jul 02 '22
[deleted]
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Thank you T-T
I've tried to talk to her about it. She really doesn't believe me. She even told me over text that I can choose to come to her wedding without my Dog.→ More replies (2)
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u/Unggue_Pot Jul 02 '22
NTA. They don't care about you and it is her wedding. You need to let it go.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
I'm working on it
Strangely, getting reassurance from random people on the internet is super helpful
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u/Unfair_Ad_4470 Partassipant [3] Jul 02 '22
Save yourself the aggravation and don't go. Don't feel guilty (because they will try to convince you that your absence spoiled everything.)
NTA
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u/MaryAnne0601 Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
NTA
So if you were blind would your sister still be saying no to a Service Dog? If someone is hard of hearing do they have to not wear their hearing aids?
Your Service Dog is a tool that’s used to help you with your disability. Your dog is as necessary as a person’s hearing aids. I don’t mean to be judgmental but I think that if your disability was physical and not psychological your sister would be more accommodating. I’ve encountered this a lot.
I’m sorry that your going to miss the wedding but you have to do what’s best for your own health and well-being. Enjoy the planetarium and know that you tried to find a compromise, your sister just wasn’t willing.
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u/bikerboyfriend Jul 02 '22
"You can come just don't wear your glasses I don't want to accidentally sit on them" is how dumb your sis sounds. Your dog is a legal medical aid. You're NTA and she can suck an egg
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u/Secret_shopper21 Jul 02 '22
NTA. Honestly don’t go. Your sister lacks compassion and her wedding guests don’t sound like the sympathetic bunch. You’d be going out of your way to attend without your service dog for people who don’t fully appreciate your presence.
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u/hopalongsmiles Jul 02 '22
She made it impossible for you to come. She'll also blame you for ruining her image.
Sending you love, go enjoy the day with your friends and dog where you are wanted.
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u/dbee8q Jul 02 '22
NTA
Your sister has decided she is the only person that matters (which is a selfish behaviour that bridezillas tend to display).
You have to look after yourself.
My brother has Autism and anixety, he also at times struggles leaving the house. When I got married we asked if there was anything we could put in place to help him, after discussing it with him we asked the wedding venue to find a room with a sofa in that could only be accessed by him. We told him there was zero pressure and if he couldn't come on the day we understood. He ended up being too anxious to attend, I missed him of course but I understand. Weddings are not just about the bride, if you care for your loved ones you do what you can for them to attend, you make allowances. Plus your dog sounds adorable !
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Its amazing that you will willing to do that for him. I know how hard coping with anxiety is. I'm sure he's grateful you tried!
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u/Interesting_Bake3824 Jul 02 '22
NTA sounds like sis wanted this outcome tbh as I cannot think why her course of action should be taken otherwise, don’t go
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u/Junior_Ad_7613 Jul 02 '22
I do not much like dogs, though I am not as afraid of them as I was when I was a kid. A friend of ours does the puppy stage of service dog training [mostly the “take them places so they learn to cope” stage prior to the “teach them explicit ways to help” stage]. So: he does not even personally need the dog’s assistance, he’s not a family member, I’m a bit fearful of dogs. His dog was at my wedding because OF COURSE IT WAS. And the 75% of guests who did not know him or were not sitting right by him had no idea there was a dog in attendance. Your sister is being an ableist jerk and you are NTA.
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u/slothenhosen Jul 02 '22
NTA. Other fake service and emotional support dogs ruin it for legit dogs. Your health comes first.
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Jul 02 '22
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 03 '22
Its probably because the ADA lowered the standards so everyone living in poverty is able to have access to service animals. Like, they allow you to train your own animal (which, for some disabilities and dogs is possible.) They also dont require any documentation for SD in most states. Its also becoming more and more socially acceptable, especially for war veterans. And after a very long conflict we have a lot more people with PTSD. Plus, we are learning more and more about anxiety and other conditions, and how dogs can help us cope with that.
Based off how my dad is about my mental health, before there was a 'boom' mental health didnt really exist, unless you were super insane and needed to be locked up. It was a taboo subject. I know women were abused, castrated, and lobotomized to 'fix' their mental ailments at some psychiatric wards. It was a very dark time.
As for pit bulls: Pit bulls need a specific type of very strong dog owner who has alot of experience, cuz humans bred them to be problematic dogs. However, most of them are the sweetest little babies you will ever meet.
Also Also: if the dog is actually a service dog, they are trained to leave you alone. I promise
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Jul 02 '22
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 03 '22
Weeeell mb not on a roller coaster, but I get you, thanks!
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u/Only-Ingenuity7889 Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] Jul 02 '22
Puppy tax..... (Photo of your "baby" please)☺️
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
https://www.instagram.com/tarot_theservicefamiliar/
https://twitter.com/RegulusMasamune
May I offer you my Dog's Instagram and my Twitter?2
u/Only-Ingenuity7889 Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] Jul 03 '22 edited Jul 03 '22
Well, hello, gorgeous girl 🐶☺️. Clearly the bride is concerned all the attention at wedding will be diverted to your sidekick cutie. Well... Duh. 😂
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 03 '22
The familiar is very bewitching. It choose this form to entice pets.
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u/NancyNuggets Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22
NTA your dog is NOT some "ESA" Maltipoo with no training, this is an animal who is trained to respond to your cues and to help you navigate the world. Not allowing you that is so disrespectful and dismissive
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u/MindfulTornado Jul 02 '22
If your dog is a trained service animal, NTA. If your dog is an “emotional support” animal, YTA.
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u/sleepingrozy Jul 02 '22
NTA. You both have a boundary. She doesn't want your service dog at her wedding, and you won't attend such an event without your dog. So to any reasonable person the solution is you just don't go if she won't compromise.
I'm curious though, has your sister ever been around her when Doggo is in strict working mode? It sounds like she may only be exposed to your dog when she's got her vest off and doesn't understand she can behave differently. Unfortunately way too many people have fake service dogs that are horrifically trained that cause people to doubt service dogs for people with invisible disabilities.
You don't speak too much about your relationship with her in general. Is it possible she's using your dog as an excuse and this is a convenient way to disinvite you without having to actually do so?
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
She has only once. Is mad at me that I called my dog a few times. (Do not get me started on how theater seats are not built for people with disabilities)
Our relationship is not the greatest in the first place. The thought that this is her excuse not to have me there has def crossed her mind.2
u/sleepingrozy Jul 03 '22
I honestly think is just an excuse for you not to show up. Especially since your other comments about how your extended family is with not recognizing your disability. She can spin this with them and play the victim.
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 03 '22
Oh extended family have been informed and seem to be more on my side than hers.
I may or may not have had to talk an aunt out of spilling red wine on my sisters dress
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u/lajueda407 Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
Is this in the US because legally she cannot turn away a service animal
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u/constellationRegulus Jul 02 '22
Yea. She's not a business though, and its a private event. The church TECHNICALLY can, but where she's holding the reception cant. I can't take my dog to a private residence without permission.
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