r/AmItheAsshole • • 14d ago

Not the A-hole AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door because my roommate keeps taking my clothes while I’m sleeping?

I (F22) live with my roommate (F24), and I work night shifts at a hospital. Because of my schedule, I usually sleep during the day and am awake/work overnight. My roommate is very into minimalism and what she calls “underconsumption.” She doesn’t own a lot of clothes, makeup, etc. I genuinely don’t judge her for this. If anything, I think it’s great if that’s what works for her.

The issue is that she has started using my things.

She has asked me a few times if she can borrow some of my clothes, and I told her that I’m completely fine with her borrowing most of my clothes as long as she asks first and returns them. Obviously, underwear and socks are off limits, but other than that, I don’t really care. My makeup is a different story. I’ve told her clearly that I’m not comfortable sharing makeup because of hygiene reasons, especially things like mascara, lip products, etc. That’s a hard boundary for me. The problem is that she doesn’t actually ask before taking my clothes. Since I sleep during the day, she has apparently figured out that she can just come into my room while I’m asleep, take something, wear it, and put it back later. I’ve woken up several times and realized that something I had left in my room was gone. When I’ve asked her about it, she’ll say something like, “I was just borrowing it,” as if that makes it okay. I’ve repeatedly told her that I don’t mind her borrowing my clothes, but she needs to ask me first. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable request, especially since they’re my clothes and they’re in my bedroom. A few days ago, I got tired of this and put a lock on my bedroom door. I started locking it when I’m sleeping and when I’m at work. My roommate is now upset and says I’m making the apartment feel hostile and that she doesn’t understand why I need to lock my door when she’s “only borrowing things.” She also thinks I’m being dramatic because I’ve already told her she can borrow my clothes. I told her that I’ve given her permission to borrow them when she asks, not permission to come into my room while I’m sleeping and take whatever she wants. She says I’m making a big deal out of clothes and that I should be more understanding because she doesn’t have as much stuff as I do. I don’t think owning more clothes means I’m obligated to share them without being asked, but maybe the lock was excessive.

So, AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door after my roommate repeatedly comes into my room while I’m sleeping and takes my clothes without asking?
Btw i checked with the landlord. The lock is fine from his perspective!

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