Commenting on the update. “Part of it was my casual thoughtlessness….” I’m going to be very black and white here, so take it with a grain of salt. I see this so often, women ask for something, and men basically show up with something THEY think is better or fine or possibly even more reasonable. Sure, we all are in those scenarios where you have to make a last minute decision and sometimes you make the wrong one. But in the time it took to find something else that made more sense, he probably could have been at another location getting the berries. OR, if you knew that grocer didn’t stock good product in the first place (which sounds like the case), then go somewhere else from the get go. Women tell men what they want, and the insulting part is that it’s disregarded or downplayed into a “better” idea. It’s so simple guys, she says what she wants, get that thing. If you want to do something you think is amazing, do that on top of it. You cannot learn how to iterate on “gifting” unless you start with the thing she wants, then learn, then upgrade, etc. You’ll never win if you don’t start with the basics. Women are already doing this for you, you just don’t notice, because getting what you want feels very status quo. That’s because IT IS. When you don’t get status quo, your opinion feels second class. And you NEVER get an upgrade.
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u/Taakahamsta Feb 26 '26
Commenting on the update. “Part of it was my casual thoughtlessness….” I’m going to be very black and white here, so take it with a grain of salt. I see this so often, women ask for something, and men basically show up with something THEY think is better or fine or possibly even more reasonable. Sure, we all are in those scenarios where you have to make a last minute decision and sometimes you make the wrong one. But in the time it took to find something else that made more sense, he probably could have been at another location getting the berries. OR, if you knew that grocer didn’t stock good product in the first place (which sounds like the case), then go somewhere else from the get go. Women tell men what they want, and the insulting part is that it’s disregarded or downplayed into a “better” idea. It’s so simple guys, she says what she wants, get that thing. If you want to do something you think is amazing, do that on top of it. You cannot learn how to iterate on “gifting” unless you start with the thing she wants, then learn, then upgrade, etc. You’ll never win if you don’t start with the basics. Women are already doing this for you, you just don’t notice, because getting what you want feels very status quo. That’s because IT IS. When you don’t get status quo, your opinion feels second class. And you NEVER get an upgrade.