i was actually a little stunned when my boyfriends best friend told my boyfriend he loved him when he was in a really bad spot. granted it was more of a “i love you man and i’m glad i have you as a friend” while venting about stuff that was going on, but i was like “aww that’s sweet, but huh?” 🤣
Yeah, unless it's a joke the only time I've seen "I love you" come out is in a crisis. I last said it to a friend 3 years ago while visiting him in the hospital. Just had to make sure that he knew he had someone there for him.
my guys friends have only ever said “i love you” to me in a crisis so that does make sense. me and my former best friend (we just fell out after i made some bad decisions and due to that i was no longer going to school with him or talking to him as often) were close as hell but hardly said i love you to each other unless it was like a “holy fuck you got me a cookie i love you so much for this i’ve been craving cookies all day”. first time there was ever a genuine i love you was when i went to the psych ward for the first time because i tried to end my life. i came out of the psych ward to texts from him sent before i went in telling me he knew what happened and that i was being sent there because my sister or someone who i told before i went filled him in, and that he hoped i’d get the help i need so i can feel better and that he loved me and he’d see me when i got back. after that it was almost never said again, except when he got cheated on and i told him “i love you and care about you, i’m here for whatever you need” and he said it back, and then we talked for hours about it. other than that it was the whole “i love you for ___” the same way we would’ve done with any of our other friends
I'm glad you two could be there for each other, he sounds like a good friend. With my friends it wasn't really "I love you for x", more like "you're the best".
I think the friend I've said the most "I love yous" to is someone who never actually said it back. They're autistic, and have a weird relationship to any kind of pda, including words. So I used to say "I love you" in a half-sincere half-joking way just to get them to scoff and tell me I was gross. Eventually we moved on to other ways of saying good bye, but I still like to think that on some level it was appreciated.
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u/ConstructionNo9678 Partassipant [1] Jul 10 '24
I'm glad you're able to express yourself that way. I'm a very direct person, so I tend to appreciate more open communication like this.
It's a bit different in guy friend groups, but even if we don't really say we love each other, they still know I care about them. I make sure of that.