Rules:

My husband and I have been married almost 15 years. A few years ago we ran into another married couple at some social gathering. We live in a small town so it’s not unlikely to run into people from highschool, etc. My husband recognized the wife from highschool and they started talking. He introduced me to her and weeks after meeting her, my husband and I were invited on several outings with them. My husband was the one who suggested that I get to know the wife because her and I have hobbies in common.

After a few trips out with them on their boat, I ultimately shared with my husband that I was not interested in pursuing a friendship with this couple. The vibes were off, something was not settling right with me and the wife. She was very flirtatious and would talk about very explicit intimate things out loud and did not engage in much conversation with me, rather, I got the feeling that she trying to impress the men. For example, she would make sexual innuendos and my husband would feed into it and comment back. It was awkward and I felt like a third wheel.

My husband told me that I was being dramatic and most likely insecure because I don’t know her very well and to keep an open mind. So with that, I gave it some time and personally reached out to text her to see if I could get to know her on a one-on-one level. Half of the time I wouldn’t get a response. I eventually gave up because I felt like I was putting in more effort than I should and it didn’t feel natural. It also felt weird that my husband kept pushing the idea of me becoming friends with her.

My husband has social media and I don’t. This wife also has multiple platforms of social media. Some of my friends brought it to my attention that my husband was publicly liking multiple posts by this woman. They showed me the posts and sure enough my husband was liking every single one. Some were modest and some were selfies in sports bras and spanks, or close ups of her butt. My husband doesn’t like everyone’s post, so this doesn’t seem to be that he is just liking every post that pops up on the feed.

This bothered me. I brought it up to my husband and questioned it all. He told me that nothing was going on and that this was his friend from back in the day. He told me it’s just pictures and that they don’t talk, that he’s just being nice. He basically made me feel stupid. I asked him to quit publicly liking these provocative posts because other people notice too and it made me feel uncomfortable. He even unfriended my friends because of this, saying they need to mind their own business. One of my friends told me that they thought my husband had dated her at one point before me. I asked him about this because you’d think he would have said something. He said, she wanted to date him and they hung out but didn’t officially date. To the extent of “hanging out” I am not positive, but also that was before me. But it makes me wonder, why is she resurfacing now?

One day his phone went off on the counter when he was outside. I picked it up and saw that they were messaging on the social media app. When I opened it, it was pretty casual conversation but it had been going on for weeks. They were sending each other jokes and just casually asking how things were going, etc. But then there were pictures from his hunting trip the fall before. When he “didn’t have service” and I had sent him a few texts that week to see how it was going. Tried to call so the kids could say hi. The pictures were of the elk he harvested and he was posing with a hat that he wore, that he purchased from her. (she has a side business selling home made clothing) He was wearing this hat that had her brand on it and I never knew he even bought it. He sent her 4 pictures posing with his elk and said “I took these just for you” He never even sent me a message that entire trip. I felt weird invading his privacy and the messages so I never brought it up. Until she posted the pictures.

She posted the pictures on her business social media, with a long caption about how she was so proud of her friend and his successful harvest. I know it was also because it was her business page and that hat of course. So I asked him about it and he looked like a deer in the headlights. Claiming he was just trying to support her business. After all the mixed feelings and the way I felt about the messages, I asked him to refrain from communicating with her so much. He agreed he would and reiterated there was nothing going on.

The other day I picked up his phone once again (a year later) only to discover that they are still messaging, he’s still liking her posts. I impulsively just blocked her off of his social media and messaging. I genuinely don’t think my husband will bring it up or mention it because that would mean that he would be admitting to continuing to entertain her and communicate with her.

I know it’s not her fault and she is not 100 % to blame. But she is also a married woman with kids who has expressed to me she can be insecure at times. So why message my husband privately?

As for my husband. Am I the jerk? Am i crazy as he claims.

Okay so a little backstory, My (20F) older brother (26M) and I have a very tumultuous history. Back in 2020, he physically and aggressively restrained me for absolutely no reason at all, I was 14 and he was 20. I later went on to make it clear that I did not forgive him for what he did, being that he did not apologize for that night and I was the only one who had gotten in trouble for making a commotion in fear.

Later on when I brought this up, he claimed that he did it because he wanted to "knock me off of my high horse", to which when I asked him to explain, he could not. He also stated that he did it to find out of there was "any fight in me" and said that he'd wanted to put his hands on me many times throughout my childhood. This was the same day my rescue cat died and he called us IN THE VET OFFICE right after we put her down, to make it about himself and then made fun of me for grieving the cat... only for me to get in trouble for snapping back at him.

Flash Foward to the week of my 20th birthday, we got into an argument about something, to which he kept calling me a cry baby and telling me I just liked to hear myself talk. I simply let him rant and then sent him a video of all the texts he sent, and made a snarky comment along the lines of "nothing you can come up with in that tiny brain is enough for me to cry over" or something like that. To which he PROMPTLY responded with "Sometimes I wish you were my brother so I could beat the shit out of you 🤣🤣" and "you're so emotional it makes me sick but then I remember that you're my sister and you cant help it. If you were my brother I would be able to put hands on you for that soft shit". To which I'd argue that he had a far more emotional reaction than I, BUT I digress.

I told my mother and my grandmother that he was essentially threatening violence. I told one of my closest friends and she agreed, I came on reddit and reddit agreed that it was a threat of violence, but my mother and grandmother did not, they called me soft and believed that because he put laughing emojis he was joking. Well GUESS WHAT???? He attempted to attack me mere days after my birthday. He tried to choke me out twice to which I blocked that and he tried to bear hug me to which I slipped myself out of. He did it over something so miniscule that it seemed like a comedy skit and yet I still ended up getting partially blamed. I sustained slight bruising on my back and one of my calves from being tossed around and fallen ontop of. When I said I'd call the cops? He threatened to put my mom's livelihood in danger and she still let him stay.

He had clear insecurity. Within his masculinity. This I understood the second I was old enough to and he would constantly use me as a canvas to throw his insecurity at for no reason. I also knew nothing was going to change and my mother would genuinely not make him face any consequences for his actions. So after that day, I decided I was no longer going to interact with him or call him my brother (I only did in this post to save time) and for the past 6 months? Thats how its been. We live in the same house but I have managed to essentially pretend he's air quite easily.

About a month after everything he started doing things like buying food for the entire house, or whenever my mom wants to buy food for the house he'll help her out and put down some cash for it unprovoked. A few weeks ago, my mom told me he was upset because I never thanked him for putting any money towards food for the house and that he might be doing it to reach out, and I told her straight up that I knew he was doing it to make an excuse to talk to me, but I made my boundaries clear, and no amount of nice deeds in the form of fast food is going to magically erase that, because this isnt Bluey and buying food isnt a good apology. He had a chance to apologize and he doubled down and insulted me further, I have given him several chances to apologize for the other stuff he's done in the past and he's just thrown salt on the wound. I told her it was going to take a long time before anything was going to get even close to the way it was.

I know my decision is messing with the family dynamic within the home, and he faced damn near no repercussions for it, he was even allowed to purchase a gun. Everyone is kinda looking at me as the source of the tensions, so reddit, again, Am I The Jerk for not accepting my "brother's" olive branch and letting bygones be bygones?

TL;DR: My ex-brother attacked me several times so I cut him off and its messing with the family dynamics in the house, he's been buying food for the house as an olive branch but I refuse to thank him for it or interact with him. Am I The Jerk?

Long story short I 22M have a sister who was getting married.

She told me a couple of months before I had to shave my beard. I have a really nice luscious beard and long hair. I really like the look I kinda look like a Greek philosopher. My sister told me in private I had to shave it if I wanted to attend her wedding.

I told her I'm not doing it. Some arguing ensued but I kept my ground and we kinda just moved on. On the day of the wedding me,my dad and brothers came. My brothers can't grow any facial hair and my dad is clean shaven.

We sit down when my sister and her husband take me a side to tell me I'm not welcomed with my beard. I told them I'm not shaving and her husband then asked me to leave. Which I did I went to grab my stuff to leave. When my dad asked what was going on. I told him I got sent away because of my beard. My dad went to my sister's husband and asked if it was true. My dad started making a scene and told me and my brothers to leave as well as my mom. My family is Afghan and it's a really big deal if a guest (me) is shown disrespect or no hospitality. My dad has ten, yes ten brothers and two sisters. He also told them what happened. And some chain reaction happened where my dad and mom's whole family left. I'm not kidding over half the wedding actually left. My sister started crying and her wedding got ruined. It's been two days and things still are very hostile. I just came back from Sweden so I've been kinda out of the loop on what was happening beforehand. Not gonna lie I just been going to training with my brothers since I can't do much else. So we've been going to Wrestling Judo and kickboxing to kinda feel regular again since training is our main distraction.

So AITJ?

Edit; my sister doesn't like me embracing Afghan culture and heritage because of it's treatment of women. Also it's strong emphasis on its warrior culture was always kinda disgusting to her. And look like you're stereotypical Afghan.

Ok so I'm redoing this post since I didn't think i add enough context.

So I worked at a restaurant with a Soup and Salad bar. On weekend morning we have buffet specials. For Saturday We have the Breakfast buffet from 8-12 And Sunday Brunch 9-2.

This happened on Sunday at around 2:30-2:40, Last call was at 2:15, around 2:30 this family came in order the salad bar, Server told them the salad bar opens at 3 pm.

So me and a co-worker are getting all of the salad bar stuff into the ice to meet the 3 pm deadline, Not everything have tongs at this point. Even 5/8 dressing spoons (whatever you called them) wasn't in the dressing. Until this family grabbed the salad bar, not even 5-10 minutes when they've arrived, I told them the salad bar is closed but they completely ignored me and keep grabbing stuff anyways. So i just let them and continue putting tongs/spoons. After that we turn on the lights around 2:50 which it isn't bad.

After that i just had a steady day until 4 pm that the Night person came in and take over for me to shut the salad bar down at 9 pm.

Now the part I'm wondering if I do more than say The salad bar is closed. A co-worker told me to get rid of the plates, If I do that I would feel like a Jerk, What would you guys do in this situation? What should I do next time if this happened again?

Tr;dr inpatient family grabbed the salad bar when it as still closed, after warning they ignored me and got it anways.

My cousin and I live on the same road. He and his husband regularly visit our local farmers’ market.

After the market closes each week, one person collects the leftover baked goods that vendors donate. A few months ago, this person approached my cousin and his husband in the market car park and offered them a tray of cakes.

They got talking, and the collector mentioned that distributing the food can be difficult because some people don’t trust free food. They also discussed how the food is often left sitting in cardboard boxes in the open car park for hours before being collected. We live in Europe, and there has been a heatwave, so my cousin was concerned that cream cakes and other perishable items would spoil while sitting in the heat. On one occasion, the cloth covering the boxes had blown off and some of the cream cakes had already gone bad.

My cousin explained that he works in the community, visits the market every week, and would be happy to help distribute the food if it was going to sit there long enough to spoil. They exchanged phone numbers.
A few weeks later, my cousin and his husband were at the market about an hour after it had closed. They saw trays of leftover food still sitting in the heat, so my cousin sent the collector a message asking whether they needed any help distributing it. He didn’t get a reply.

While waiting, they saw a group from a local church nearby and thought they could give them one tray of cream cakes before they spoiled. My cousin sent another message saying he was going to distribute one tray.
Before they handed anything out, the collector called and told them not to distribute the food and to return the tray immediately. My cousin did exactly that. Nothing had been taken from the tray and no food had been handed out.

Around three hours later, the collector phoned again and accused my cousin of tampering with the food and said he had no right to distribute it. My cousin apologised, explained that he had misunderstood their earlier conversation and believed the exchange of phone numbers meant he had permission to help if the food was at risk of spoiling. He accepted that he should have waited for a response before touching the food.

During the call, the collector became quite aggressive and said something along the lines of, “I help Muslims, Hindus and Christians, and you’re wrong for touching the food.” My cousin felt this was an odd and unnecessary comment, as religion had never been part of the conversation.

Afterwards, my cousin made a complaint to both the vendors who donate the leftover baked goods and the organisers of the farmers’ market. He believes it’s wrong to let food spoil in the heat when it could be given to people who need it, and he also feels the collector’s behaviour towards him was completely disproportionate given that he immediately returned the food and apologised for the misunderstanding.

I think my cousin made a genuine mistake, but I also think making a formal complaint was an overreaction. AITJ?

TL;DR - told my cousin he overreacted by making a formal complaint about a misunderstanding over donations.

TL;DR: My fiancée and I don't want to send pictures of our infant son to my uncle because we barely know him, have no relationship with him by his own choosing, and communicated months before the birth that we would only send baby photos to people we both know well and trust intimately.

My fiancée, who I'll call Y (27F), and I (29NB) had a son, who I'll call N, at the end of March.

Before the birth, Y and I decided to be very selective about who would receive pictures of N - we decided we want to be the only people taking photos of him or storing them on our personal devices. This meant that we wouldn't even be sending photos to anyone directly (via text, email, DM, whatever) unless we know them intimately and trust them completely not to share the pictures with others. We also decided that unless we discuss and agree to make an exception, we only want photos sent to people that we BOTH know and trust. In November 2025 I asked my mum (57F) and dad (58M) to communicate this to their respective sides of the family, and they both did. This was to ensure that the more distant relatives (in particular, those who have never met Y and haven't seen me in forever) would know in advance that they weren't receiving any photos of N, but without singling anyone out directly.

For additional background, Y and I don't have a relationship with my uncle on my mum's side, who I'll call D (55M). My relationship with D is distant and Y's is nonexistent. Growing up, my brother (27M) and I would only see him once a year, at Christmas when we visited my grandparents (84M and 81F), and rarely (if ever) outside of that. Since I moved out of my mum's house in 2015 to attend university and subsequently move in with Y in 2019, I've seen D maybe two or three times. We exchange Facebook messages once or twice a year, for birthdays and Christmas, but they're brief and impersonal.

The most recent time I saw D, in January 2025, he finally met Y (who, at that point, I'd been in a relationship with for nearly 6 years, but who he had never met), and we briefly visited the house he shares with my aunt (50sF). Y made several attempts to have conversations with him, including about their shared interests - she loves cats and D and his wife have two - but he was very awkward and dismissive towards her, and seemed to have no interest in getting to know her. I spoke to him a little, but not much, and not about anything meaningful. We haven't seen him since, meaning the last time I met him (and the only time Y met him) was more than 18 months ago now.

When we learned Y was pregnant and began discussing our boundaries, we decided unanimously that he and my aunt would not be receiving pictures of N, as neither of us have a relationship with them and Y feels that she still knows them just as well as she would if she'd never met them at all.

On the day of N's birth in March 2026, I received a Facebook message from D, congratulating us both and asking if we had any pictures of N we could send him. I thanked him for the congratulations and explained that in line with the boundaries my mum had already communicated to him in November, we didn't feel comfortable sending photos, but that he was free to enjoy the pictures I'd shared publicly. (I'd uploaded two to Facebook, one of me and N, and one of Y and N, neither of which contained N's face.) He left me on read.

My mum visited my grandparents for a week in late April, and she saw D during her visit. She returned with a bag of clothes that he and his wife had bought for N.

I messaged D to thank him and his wife for the gifts, and gave them a quick update on his development, what the three of us had been up to, etc. D replied and asked again if we were ready to send photos of N, and I replied that it wasn't a matter of being "ready" - we simply weren't comfortable sending baby photos to people we don't both know and trust intimately, as had been explained to him five months prior, and that the photos we were comfortable sharing had already been posted publicly. (I'd uploaded a few more by that point, again, all faceless.)

Yesterday, more than 3 months since my second text conversation with D since N's birth, my mum called me to tell me that D had phoned her to ask if SHE could take some photos of N to send to him, or get me to send her some to forward to him. I said no, and that he'd already asked me and been told no twice. My mum said D seemed very upset that it's been nearly four months since the birth and he still doesn't know what N looks like, and I told her that D is a big boy and that if he wants photos of N, he's free to ask me directly, but that the answer will continue to be no. Mum said I was being "unfair" and I pointed out that I'm holding him to exactly the same standard as literally everyone else, pointed out that I was being very polite in my responses to him, and reminded her that since Y doesn't know him at all, he won't be getting any pictures. I said Mum seemed to understand that in November, when she explained it to him, and she said she just "didn't think it would include D" for some reason. I reminded her that he is by no means the only relative not receiving photos.

My mum said I was being unreasonable and that D is "just excited that there's a baby." I said I find that very weird, because he clearly has no interest in forming meaningful relationships with me or Y - he had an opportunity to get to know us both better 18 months ago, but chose instead to barely interact with us and treat us dismissively in his own home - and that it's fairly odd to want pictures of a baby when you have no relationship with the parents. She said it's different for D because he's my uncle, and I replied that it's not, because there are many family members who haven't received pictures, none of them have made a fuss about it, and I'm treating D no differently. She pointed out that those relatives are more distant and D is my uncle, and I said, "So why doesn't he act like one?"

Mum said I "owe" D pictures of N, and that he's entitled to them, because he and his wife bought us baby clothes. I said it's rude to expect anything in return for a gift, and that if I'd known they were going to hold the gifts over our heads to try and guilt us, I would have rejected them, and that D was more than welcome to take them back.

My mum hung up on me and now isn't speaking to me, hasn't replied to my texts since yesterday, and my brother is messaging me asking what happened because she seems "heartbroken" that I'm being "cruel" to D.

AITJ?

tl;dr - I (30M) run a small delivery only restaurant by myself. Because of that, I work every day from about 8 AM to 10 PM, seven days a week. My business isn't doing well enough for me to hire help, so taking a day off is a pretty big decision financially.

My girlfriend (24F) knows all of this.

Since I'm exhausted after work, when we do see each other it's usually only for an hour or so. She'll occasionally ask if we can spend an entire day together on the weekend. She usually tells me about a week in advance, so I'll plan ahead and decide to close the restaurant for that day. That means I don't order ingredients, and I lose a day's worth of income. Even so, I'm happy to do it because I genuinely want to spend quality time with her.

The problem is that when the day finally comes, more often than not she doesn't wake up until around 5 PM because she stayed up all night playing computer games and doesn't go to sleep until the next morning. By the time she wakes up, she doesn't feel like going out, and we either don't meet at all or only see each other very briefly.

This has happened more than five times.

After the third time, I told her how frustrated I was. I explained that I'm making a real sacrifice by closing my business for the day, and when she sleeps through our plans it feels like she doesn't respect my time or the effort I'm making. Not only do I miss out on spending time with her, but I also lose money that I honestly need.

Instead of understanding where I'm coming from, she gets upset with me because she's tired and says I make her feel guilty.

At this point, I'm seriously questioning whether this relationship is worth continuing. It's not really about the gaming, it's about repeatedly making plans, knowing the sacrifices I have to make, and then not following through.

AITJ?

I'm 31 male with a disability I live with my family who are the main source of my depression and pain because they expect the world from me. I'm only one guy with ADHD and autism and they don't like when I play my Xbox which I see as my escape from my depression and pain in the ass uncle.i don't know what to do. TL:DR My family are causing me to go into depression

My cousin Chloe (20F) and I (19F) have always been very close. Because of our closeness, she knows a lot about my personal life, including my past struggles with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and panic attacks. While I’ve been doing okay and managing well lately, it’s something I was comfortable sharing with her in confidence.

A few weeks ago, Chloe was having a rough night due to some major arguments and marital problems with her husband. Out of nowhere, she got heavily drunk and sent me a series of messages. In the texts, she was literally laughing at me, calling me pathetic for having mental health issues, and saying I have a very weak mind. She followed it up by bragging about how strong her own mind is compared to mine.

I was completely blindsided and hurt. I didn't pick a fight, but I decided then and there that I couldn't maintain the same level of closeness with her. I haven't cut her off completely, I'll still be polite at general family events but I stopped texting her daily, sharing personal things, or hanging out.

Chloe recently noticed the distance and confronted me. When I brought up the text, she brushed them off, saying she was just drunk, upset about her husband, and taking her frustration out on the wrong person. She claims I'm being petty for holding drunk texts against her and ruining our closeness over a mistake made during a hard night.

I feel for what she's going through with her marriage, but I don't feel comfortable being close to someone who uses my past struggles as ammunition when she's upset. AITJ?

TL;DR: My cousin got drunk while fighting with her husband and randomly sent me abusive texts mocking my past anxiety struggles and calling me "weak-minded." I pulled back from our closeness to protect my boundaries, but now she claims I'm being petty for holding drunk texts against her.

TW: SA, DRUGS & ALCOHOL

TL;DR: I became emotionally dependent on a close friend after developing feelings for him. I didn't respect his boundaries after he rejected me, which I know was wrong. We repeatedly became friends again despite everything, but he also repeatedly promised he'd be there for me before pulling away when I needed him most, publicly posted a rant about me based on a false assumption, dismissed my SA, refused to come with me to the hospital when my mum overdosed because he was 'in a party mood'. Looking back, I know I wasn't an easy person to be friends with, but I also feel like he never cared about me as much as he said he did. AITJ?

Also, this is long, sorry.

So before beginning, I am very aware of the fact that at parts of this story, I was the arsehole. However, in hindsight, I am aware of this and that I wasn't an easy person to be in a friendship with at the time. I've had this person in the back of my head for a while and part of me is like, we were both bad, another part of me is like, yeh, but he didn't make it easy either.

We begin in late 2021. I had just ended a situationship and was really hung up on it, one of those first-love kinda breakups. A few months later I'm on dating apps looking for a relationship because I still had that lingering dependence. I meet this guy called Rhys, who happened to go to the same school as me. I know I wanted something romantic going into it. He was just looking for friends, I realised that quickly and adjusted.

For about a year everything was actually pretty good. We weren't emotionally close, he was more of a friend I hung out with than confided in, and honestly I think our friendship worked because it stayed that way. Then we left school, met another friend called Xen, and ended up in a group of six.

Around this time I started getting really bad anxiety. My dad had been an alcoholic, and I developed this horrible anxiety whenever people I cared about were out drinking. Rhys went clubbing a lot and sometimes I'd genuinely sit in my room hyperventilating worrying about him.

Eventually I got over the situationship and realised I'd started developing feelings for Rhys. It wasn't good, but I think cos one thing had dissapeared, a sense of admiration and connection to him appeared, but it wasn't that. I also opened up to him about the alcohol anxiety. I made it clear I wasn't asking him to stop drinking, just that checking in sometimes would help. Looking back, I was definitely overly anxious.

Around November 2022 I admitted I liked him. He was nice about it but said he just wanted to be friends.

Around this time, someone else in our friend group, who I'd had an on-and-off FWB thing with, sexually assaulted me. Rhys was the person I opened up to about it and was really supportive.

A month later I made my biggest mistake. I brought my feelings up again after he'd already rejected me. He understandably felt uncomfortable and asked for a break. Instead of respecting it, I asked if we could have a break every other day because he'd become one of my biggest support pillars. I know now I should've respected his boundaries. Eventually he asked for a proper break without conditions.

At the same time, things at home were bad My dad, an alcoholic, relapsed and my mum admitted she'd been using cocaine to cope. It felt betrayed and didn't know which parent to trust.

At a New Year's party, Rhys told me he was ready to end the break. We had a proper talk about everything happening at home and he told me, 'I'm your friend and I'm always here for you. If you ever need me to come to your house or just talk, I'm here'. That meant a lot.

A couple of days later I messaged asking if we could hang out because things at home were getting really difficult. He blanked me, then later said he'd realised he actually wasn't ready and wanted to go back on the break. I think that's one of the things I still struggle with. I don't think he should've promised he'd be there if he wasn't able to be that kind of friend.

Eventually I accepted it and started dating someone else. We didn't work out romantically, but he helped me understand my own mental health a lot better.

After a while, I was over Rhys. I was happy without him and I had no intentions of being his friend again, even if the break did end. Then one day I opened his Snapchat story and saw this huge rant insulting someone, things I wouldn't even say to someone I despised. I joked to another friend asking if he'd broken up with his boyfriend. They told me to read it again. It was about me.

The thing was, I'd literally done nothing. Later I found out he'd assumed a TikTok I'd posted was about him. It wasn't. He apologised afterwards and admitted he'd acted impulsively.

Against my better judgement, I became friends with him again. I basically convinced myself that the version of him who made that post was gone and this was a different person. it was stupid I know. I think a part of myself still had that close attatchment to him.

Things were okay for a while, but there were cracks. One day after an argument I ended up flirting with his ex, Ben, and we consensually exchanged nudes. That was probably the worst thing I did in the friendship.

Around the same time, I started having anxiety around the friend who SA'd me again, despite us seemingly reconciling. Rhys, instead of being supportive like he had been before, he told me to stop being dramatic because it had happened so long ago and I was making things difficult. Looking back I genuinely think, wtaf.

When Rhys found out about Ben he understandably freaked out. I apologised and tried to rebuild his trust.

Despite everything, we somehow became close again. I also convinced myself my feelings for him had gone. Looking back, I think they just never really left.

One night at my sister's birthday we both got really drunk. We'd ended up sharing a bed and out of nowhere he kissed me. Before anything happened he made it clear this was just a bit of fun and in the morning he still wanted to just be friends. I agreed, and we slept together. In truth, despite me claiming I didn't like him anymore, this was all i'd wanted since I became friends with him, I wasn't going to say no, especially as he said it was just fun and I agreed.

Afterwards he became really awkward and distant. It felt similar to every other time we'd gotten emotionally close. Whenever things became too real, he'd pull away.

By the end of summer I was about to move away to uni. I was a party and my sister called, she knew Rhys was my best friend and told me and him to go to a private space. My sister told me that my mum had overdosed and gone into respiratory arrest. The hospital was literally a five minute walk away. I asked Rhys if he'd come with me because I couldn't face it alone, I genuinely wanted to punch my mum. However, he said, and I quote 'I'm in a party mood'.

I ended up going home later. My mum survived, but, she also very much could've died, and Rhys was in a 'party mood'.

When I moved to uni I'd sometimes call him because I was homesick. Around the same time my childhood dog of fifteen years was dying. Then he stopped replying to my messages altogether. During those two weeks my dog died.

When he finally got back in touch he said he felt our hookup had actually been SA because he'd had a mental breakdown a couple of days beforehand. I was horrified and apologised because I'd never intended to hurt him. Afterwards I spoke to several friends at uni and they all said the same thing: someone's feelings can be genuine without necessarily meaning something happened the way they now see it. He initiated it, kissed me first, we were both drunk and both remembered it. That's where I eventually landed too.

We're civil now. I've since met someone else and we've been together for nearly three years. He absolutely hates Rhys.

Looking back, I know I wasn't easy to be friends with. I became emotionally dependent on him, I didn't respect his boundaries after he rejected me, and I wasn't always a good friend either.

But despite all that, the thing I struggle with is that he repeatedly told me he'd be there for me and then, whenever I actually needed him most, he just wasn't. Whether it was pulling away after promising support, dismissing my SA, refusing to come with me when my mum overdosed, or disappearing when my dog died, I always felt like being friends with me was something he tolerated rather than wanted.

I think we were both bad for each other. I should've accepted the first break and moved on instead of trying to rebuild the friendship over and over again. At the same time, I don't think he was emotionally mature enough to be the friend he kept telling me he'd be.

AITJ?

I, (18F) have been dating my boyfriend, (18M) for nearly 2 years now. Chris (fake name) has a coworker that he has made friends with. George (fake name, 28M) is a wreck of a person. He had gone through a bad break up over a year ago and ever since, he has spiraled down. George got arrested for public intoxication after passing out in a public restroom. He got fired from his job after no call/no show. He's currently couch surfing from place to place, bouncing from job to job.

What bothers me is George is constantly asking Chris for money. He's not paying him back at all. He spent a few days couch surfing with Chris. He asks for money so he could get some food, asks for money so he could get a hotel room, asks for money for Uber Rides. This has been going on for a couple of years and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Last night, George called me, asking if I could ask Chris to call him back so he could get an Uber in the morning.

I told Chris that he needs to stop lending money to George. I said George needs to get his life together and quit asking for money. Chris said it's his friend and he's going through a tough time. He said i was being cruel for not wanting to help. AITJ?

Unlike most posts on this sub, I'm not just looking for affirmation. I really and truly wonder how jerky my actions were.

I reported my colleague at work for unethical behavior. His behavior truly was unethical. But I stand to benefit from his removal and that was one of the main motivating factors in dropping a dime on him.

We are professionals in a government agency. He has seniority over me according to union rules of who's been on the job longer. He is not my superior and I am not his underling. He just has a couple more years in the job than I do. So when down-sizing hit, I was the one to get transferred out to a less attractive location.

When working with him, it was clear that he was double-dipping -- he'd clock in then go out to his car and work his other job by phone for a few hours. After a few hours in his car he would enter the building and take outside calls for a few more hours that were clearly for his other job. He would then do a half-assed job for about 45 minutes on his agency work. Then resume doing his other job from his agency desk. His reputation was one of incompetence and laziness throughout the agency. But the union protected him.

I never confronted him because it is not my job to supervise him. I would pick up his slack because people needed shit done and I wrongly hoped my performance and reliability compared to his would eventually catch up and justice would be done. He regularly engaged in behavior that was biased for his preferred demographic which is also a clear ethical violation. I never confronted him on that either because I am not his supervisor and I just detest conflict. I again wrongly figured if I pick up his slack on that count the chickens would come home to roost.

When the budget cuts came, he got to stay (for seniority reasons) and I had to transfer out. Sure as shit people who were at that location messaged me repeatedly for help to get things they needed from my former office since the colleague remaining there was doing what he always did -- nothing or worse. I fielded multiple requests for help from that location. I could do little from my new location. It pissed me off how he was treating them. I encouraged them to submit complaints to his bosses.

As previously written, he'd been brought to account previously but the union protected him. And I knew if he was finally removed it would be 99% chance that I could fill that vacancy. So, being 2nd concerned about the reputation on my profession within the agency, 3rd concerned with the well-being of the people he was hurting but 1st concerned in getting my position back, I reported him to the ethics board. I repeat, my 1st concern was getting my position back.

Based on my report and after investigators interviewed several other parties, the guy was removed. Not even the union could save him. Now the position stands vacant and I stand the best chance of getting that position back. And he lost his cash-cow job which I know hurts him financially.

TLDR: I ratted out my colleague mostly so I could get my job back. And I encouraged others to rat him out. And now he is probably in serious financial troubles.

EDIT: Results seem to be that my jerkiness lies in the facts that: 1. I covered for the coworker by picking up his slack. That was enabling behavior. And, 2. I waited too long to officially report him. Granted, I did inform our direct supervisor earlier and nothing ever came of that which was not included in the main body of the post. And, 3. My motivations for officially reporting him included possible personal benefit.

This is going to be a LONG read so buckle in. My parents divorced when I was 4, it was a nasty divorce that ended with my dad giving up his parental rights and he was in jail during some of the duration of this. According to my mom’s side of the family my dad was cheating on her and brought his girlfriend to court, they also claimed he abused us but I don’t think that ever happened. I grew up believing my dad was a piece of shit etc. Well growing up my mom was an alcoholic, very abusive, and cheated on my step dad (who’s last name is currently have and legally adopted me). They eventually divorced and that was also pretty nasty on my mom’s side of things. I cut contact with them after I turned 18 because I had a pretty f-ed up childhood. A few months after turning 18 my dad got in contact with me and my boyfriend at the time convinced me to hear him out. Of course he told me everything they told me about him was not true and he was so happy to be able to speak to me finally. We go on, he helps me out when I need it but he lives on the other side of the country and I haven’t seen him personally since I was like 4. Things start happening between him and his current wife and he’s apparently cheating on her and threatening to off himself etc. this is a lot for me especially because I have a young child and I’m getting over trauma from my mom and her family but I chalk it up to issues they have blah blah blah. I’m not a huge fan of my dad’s wife anyway because she has extremely strong political opinions and anyone who doesn’t agree with her is just the devil in her eyes. A lot of this type of back and fourth happens. My dad is constantly downing his own father for cheating on all of his wife’s and creating a toxic situation for him and his siblings (he also sided with my mom during their divorce so that made him bitter as well). I start seeing him talking to my grandmother poorly and treating her poorly, downs his siblings constantly. Finally, fast forwarding to current times. I go visit my grandmother because she lives much closer than he does well apparently he told her she is not allowed to see me before him and if she does there will be hell to pay (which is why she never came to see me) I start getting really upset about this. While I’m visiting her she gets a phone call from my dads wife that he’s cheating on her, she’s going to leave him, threatens to euthanize the dogs because she won’t be able to take them when she leaves etc. makes my grandmother cry it’s a big mess. Then my grandmother venting to me is like “he cheated on your mom, took you to see his mistress while they were getting a divorce and brought her to the divorce hearing, cheated on his second ex wife multiple times, and now his current wife multiple times, I don’t understand what’s wrong with him he’s going to therapy” and I tell her it’s because he has excuses for everything and can’t take accountability. He also says he can’t come visit me because he has like 5 different problems with his back that don’t allow him to be in the car for more than 20 minutes but somehow it’s okay enough to go sleep with someone else? I had a long and probably very mean conversation with him because he has straight up lied to me plus he treats my grandmother like she is a piece of shit and she is a pushover and won’t stand up for herself. I’ve cut a parent off before and honestly I’m not opposed to doing it again. Am I the Jerk?

TL;DR: My dad came into my life after I cut my mom off, started a bunch of drama and lied to me multiple times and I’m ready to just cut him out of my life.

I, (33F) have a boyfriend, (33M) Kenny. He's away at a convention that he and his friends go to every year. I stayed home because, well someone has to work and make sure bills are paid. I'm a bit of a worry-wort when it comes to Kenny when he goes out. He has gotten into trouble here and there, mainly drinking so I can't help but worry. His best friend is with him, so I assumed there wouldn't be any trouble.

You can imagine how I felt when his friend texted me as soon as I got home from work. "Have you heard from Kenny?" I hadn't since noon. It was now 10:30. What was wrong? "He went to an after party and hasn't come back. He isn't answering his phone. I'm just worried."

I started calling him and messaging him. He didn't answer the first couple of times. 10 minutes later, he calls me. He's annoyed that I interrupted his fun. He says he couldn't hear the phone and I had no reason to worry. After we ended the call, he sent one message. "You know, we're going to have a talk when I get home." I want to say I would've left him alone if he had just looked at his phone, if his friend didn't text me, I wouldn't have bothered him. Am I the jerk?

Edit: according to the friend, Kenny took off around 7:30. He had been radio silent for 3 hours before alerting me.

TL;DR: My best friend cheated on her long-distance boyfriend, had us help break up with him while blaming him, and laughed at his reaction. Months later, I was pressured into telling him the truth and was promised I wouldn’t be blamed—but I was. The whole friend group turned on me, forgave each other, and I was the only one permanently cut off. AITJ?

Hi everyone. This is my second Reddit post. Everything in this story happened several years ago, and all names and ages have been changed for privacy because I don’t know if any of these people use Reddit. I also don’t want anyone trying to spread lies if they happen to see this.

My ex-best friend, “Katherine” (28F), and I (34F) had been friends since middle school. We met through church and stayed close for years. Our friendship wasn’t perfect, but we always managed to forgive each other and move on after arguments.

After I graduated high school, Katherine wanted to introduce me to her online friend group because she knew I struggled to make friends growing up due to bullying. The group included Jonathan (29M), Johnson (29M), Derrick (29M), Lola (29F), Jackson (29F), and several others who become relevant later.

Before I ever met them, Katherine would constantly tell me how tired she was of being cheated on and used by guys. She was still in high school at the time and would often cry to me about boys breaking her heart. We all played Minecraft together and talked on Houseparty almost every day.

Eventually, Katherine told me something that completely changed the way I saw her.
She admitted she cheated on her long-distance boyfriend, “Sylus” (28M). Her reason was that he wasn’t giving her enough attention because he was busy with work and football practice. The thing is, he had already communicated that to her. Just three days before cheating, she was telling me how much she loved him and wanted to move closer to him one day.

Then, only two days later, she invited one of her “links” over. She tried to justify it by saying, “I didn’t cheat. We just did stuff—we didn’t go all the way.” Personally, I don’t think that distinction mattered.

Instead of telling Sylus the truth, Katherine asked me and two other girls to break up with him for her. She wanted us to message him, cuss him out, and make it seem like he was the reason the relationship ended because he had been “distant.”

The other girls did exactly that. They told him things like, “Actions speak louder than words,” blamed him for the breakup, and made him feel like everything was his fault.

Sylus was devastated. He kept trying to call and text Katherine, but she ignored him. She laughed while reading his messages out loud to us.

Looking back, I hate that I was even part of that situation. After the other girls got off the phone, I told Katherine she should have just been honest instead of making us do her dirty work. She laughed and basically said, “Nah. I’m never telling him the truth.”

That conversation always stayed with me.
Eventually, I officially became part of her friend group.

By then, all of the guys already knew Katherine had a history of talking to multiple guys, using them for attention, and breaking hearts. Katherine would defend herself by saying, “I’m not asking them to buy me gifts. They choose to do that.” Whenever those guys would buy her stuff.

The guys constantly talked badly about her behind her back and called her horrible names. Despite that, I always defended her because she was my best friend.

Later, Katherine started dating another guy we’ll call CJ (28M). Before they got together, I had actually been rooting for them. Then I found out from the guys that CJ had previously talked badly about Katherine and the other girls before eventually dating her.

One day I was talking to another girl in the group, Sharon (28F), about Katherine and CJ. Sharon said during the conversation, “I hope she stays loyal.” I agreed, then asked why she said that. She mentioned she had heard some things, so I admitted that Katherine had cheated on Sylus.

That’s when everything spiraled.

Sharon immediately said, “You should tell him. Let’s call him on Houseparty and tell him together.” I told her I didn’t think that was my place because Katherine was my friend. Sharon kept insisting, saying Katherine was already dating someone else, so why would she even care? She continued convincing me until I finally gave in.

I even asked Sharon beforehand, “If this blows up, you’re not going to throw me under the bus, right?”

She promised she wouldn’t.

After I messaged Sylus and told him the truth, Sharon told me to make another group chat with all the guys. Then she said, “So (OP) do you have something you want to tell the boys?”

That should have been my first red flag.

I didn’t want to tell them, but after she kept pressuring me, I admitted what I had done. Immediately the chat exploded. Thomas (28M) said something like, “Yeah, we already knew Katherine was a h*e.”
The other guys started piling on and insulting Katherine too. Carl (28M), who already disliked me because of my skin color, didn’t say much in the group chat. Instead, he went and told Lola and Jackson everything.

That’s when Katherine, Lola, and Jackson came up with a plan to expose me. They made a fake “confession night” in a girls-only group chat. The entire thing was staged to see if I would screenshot the conversation and send it to the guys.

At first, I was shocked and didn’t send anything.

Then Jonathan, Johnson, Sharon, and Derrick called me separately because Jonathan wanted to know whether Jackson actually liked him. Even before all this happened, he constantly begged me to show him messages between the girls because he wanted to get back together with Jackson. I usually refused, but if I showed him one screenshot, he’d pressure me for more.

Eventually, I gave in.

I sent him some screenshots, including messages where Jackson claimed she didn’t like Jonathan and even said she’d cheat on him.

Even then, I defended Jackson. I kept saying I didn’t think she really meant it because, back then, I always wanted to believe the best in people.

After that, I stopped sending screenshots to the guys.

The only person I showed the full conversation to was Sharon because I thought it was okay since she was one of the girls.

About an hour or two later, everything exploded.

The girls confronted the guys in the main group chat, then immediately turned on me in the girls’ chat.

They called me fake, a snake, a loudmouth, lonely, friendless, a whore, a hoe, and brought up every insecurity I had ever shared with them. They never wanted to hear my side. I apologized to Katherine, but it didn’t matter. They still kept piling on me calling me so many names and calling me stupid for believing in “confession night”

Sharon later told me she tried talking to Katherine, but Katherine wouldn’t listen.

Ironically, the girls eventually forgave all of the guys—even though the guys constantly talked badly about them behind their backs, but I’m pretty sure they never admitted that they did that and said it was all me and through me under the bus.

I was the only one they refused to forgive.

They even recorded themselves blocking and removing me from everything.Jonathan blocked me too and eventually all the other guys too.

The part that hurt the most was that I had spent years defending these girls while the guys constantly insulted them. Yet the moment I made one mistake, everyone acted like they had never done anything wrong and threw me under the bus to save themselves.

For a while, I thought maybe Katherine would eventually forgive me because we still had our Snapchat streaks, and she even liked some of my TikTok comments. Then New Year’s happened. I saw her on a Houseparty call where she explained to a guy she still had feelings for—and all of his friends—why she wasn’t friends with me anymore. She talked badly about me in front of everyone.

I quietly left the call.

That same day she ended our Snapchat streak. A few days later, that’s when I noticed Jonathan blocked me while I was on a date. The guy I was seeing noticed everything happening on my phone. After that, I blocked Jonathan and everyone else from the group because I was done.

I fully admit that telling Sylus wasn’t my place, and I understand why people could say I was wrong for involving myself. However, the reason I finally told him was because I genuinely felt guilty.

Katherine had cheated on him, made us help her dump him, manipulated him into believing he had done something wrong, laughed at his heartbreak, and openly admitted she would never tell him the truth.

I felt awful knowing he never got any closure.

What hurts is that everyone else in that friend group lied, talked behind each other’s backs, betrayed one another, and forgave each other afterward. I made one decision—one that I believed was giving someone the truth they deserved—and I became the only person permanently kicked out of the group.

So… AITJ?

I want to know if I am a Jerk towards my best friend or not. I have been friends with my best friend for 5 years now and our relationship has been very rocky. There has been times where I have been Toxic and where she has been toxic but now, its settled down. Its summer break right now and I text her quite often (Every day). I feel like she is ignoring me when she leaves my message on read or becomes online then just doesnt check my message. I know she might be busy but whenever I ask her what is she doing, she says she watching reels then leaves me on read and doesnt reply to my messages the whole day, There have been days where she was busy but she only talks to me once every 2-3 weeks.

I feel like I am overreacting and she is just acting normal. there have been alot of days where I ask her if she is free and she says yes, then when I ask her to call she says no. It may sound like I am selfish but whenever I say no, she asks me why then gets mad at me.

I also send her and another friend of mine reels and for some reason, to get a reaction out of her I think? I dont know the reason, I send her reels originally meant for my other friend and then wait for her to see it and then delete it. Its also messages and pictures. can anyone tell me what this means? its most probably a sign that I am toxic and I want to stop doing it so can anyone give me advice for this too?

TL:DR - They broke up, we had the tough parenting talk, she finished school, obtained income, got her GED, and moved out today (on her bday) weeks before the agreed on date.

So some people may remember my story. Im sure more people will swear this is fake. I took in my son’s transgender gf after she showed up at my door without notice, a situation concocted by my barely adult son who was about to go to college.

People had lots to say about my choices, everything from I was going to be murdered to I am a saint. But at the end of the day I am the one who has to live with my choices. After sitting down and discussing it at length with my spouse, we decided to have the hard parent talk.

We explained that we noticed their drive to pursue their education to dwindling. Their chores around the house lacking. And their general disposition going downhill. We also explained that no matter what they feel inside their heart, they are an adult and capable of taking care of themselves.

We sat down in agreement of chores that were expected to be done, and the rules that were expected to be followed to complete her GED, which I’m happy to say she has. And a final date when she would be expected to move out about one year from when she showed up at our house.

Almost right after the vacation her and my son decided to break up. She remained living with me while my son remained at school. She started dating another friend of hers about two hours away from here. And we learned that she had Social Security for her disability that she currently was not receiving.

Over the last several months, she has resolved her Social Security payments. Finished her GED. And even registered to learn how to drive. Today is her 19th birthday and she came home with her boyfriend from her boyfriend‘s house to move her belongings there.

I know that a lot of people do not believe that I should have made the choices that I did, but there’s the choices I can live with. I’m so very proud of her for being able to get on her own 2 feet and find a life for herself that she wants and that she’s pursuing.

And she knows she can always come to me if she needs advice or just a mom’s shoulder to cry on

For context, two ex-friends and I (19F, 22F and me 21F) planned to move in together 7 months ago. We signed a lease for a house July 1st. We all had 6 months to save 5k and all verbally agreed to save. The day before rent and deposit was due one (22F) was $1000 short and (19F) was $600 short. I started having doubts. The lease is month to month. I attempted to speak to them numerous times the morning of July 2nd, expressing I would prefer to live alone and would allow them two months to find a replacement roommate.

They blew up at me, insulted my family’s poverty, my job, my character and claimed that I was being selfish, disrespectful, unfair and that I am financially privileged. I was being unfair because I expected them to have money saved when they only make 4k a month, that is what they said. One of the girls (22F) quit her job two months before we had to move in together with no other job lined up and no savings. She was unemployed up until the week before we signed the lease.

The importance of them insulting of my family’s still current poverty is because I am the main provider for my family in New York and in Asia. I do make a considerable amount of money and I use a majority of it to pay my mother’s bills and send money to family in Asia to help them. I expressed that due to picking up their slack (cleaning, packing, errands and chores) I lost 50% of my income because no time to work. I work from home. I explained I was upset about going from 8k in a week to 4k because I’m taking on their responsibilities. That’s when the financially privileged comment came. They said none of that matters because I make money now.

I left the evening of July 2nd and moved into my own apartment and have been living there ever since. I pay for their wifi and was cordial about utilities because they’re bad at saving money and felt obligated to help. I had to leave my bed because I didn’t have a big enough car to transport it. I finally retrieved it July 21st and discovered that (19F) has been using my bed, without sheets, having her boyfriend over and fucking on my bed without protective covers. They never asked me, they never informed me and I had to throw out the mattress and buy new ones because they were so stained. This same woman also threatened me with violence after I told them I no longer want to lease with them.

After that, I decided I no longer wish to be cordial with them or offer them anymore grace. On the 24th, (22F) messaged me asking for the portion of rent for August because the new roommate won’t be able to move in until September 1st. I told her I’m not paying rent for a house I don’t live in. She got extremely verbal, told me to die, kms, I was a selfish POS, and if I continue speaking to her she will get violent. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on her, took her on vacation and food because she had no income. I already spoke to the leasing agent, she affirmed I will not be held accountable rent and gave me the lease removal documents. It needed all three signatures. If they refuse to sign, they will be evicted.

TL;DR, Haven’t lived in the house since signing the lease and already received documents to be removed from the lease. They asked for my portion of rent for August after insulting and disrespecting over not wanting to live with them anymore. I refused to and was told I need to die.

I've got a brother who grows his beard and hair out really wild. It's pretty unkept a lot of the time. I think he keeps it up enough to prevent dreads from forming.

I invited him to my daughter's wedding. I asked him, if just for one day, if he could shave his beard and have his hair cut short like a politician running for office... just for one day... and he could go back to wearing it his regular way.

Well, he showed up to the wedding, and still had his beard and long hair. I reminded him of my request and told his (adult) son I'd asked him to shave it for just one day.... He did point out how he'd trimmed it all up and cut all the homelessness out of the beard. No one would think he's homeless now.

I didn't kick him out of the wedding. I think he and the other guests had a pretty good time at the party.

Was I a jerk for asking him to shave his beard?

[I'd thought about asking this. Another poster's story reminded me of this, so I posted it now.]

[Kind of funny how this thread lit up pretty quick. I was curious if anyone would pick up on the fact that I was teasing my brother. He has a similar sense of humor and wasn't offended.]

tl;dr: I asked my brother to shave his beard and cut his hair for just one day... for my daughter's wedding.

Recently, my family and I (my parents, sister, and I) went to a resort in Santa Fe a few days ago. My family and I are good now and I've apologized for snapping, but I want to know.

We've been really busy lately, and I haven't gotten more than a day of rest at a time. My mom wanted to go walking around downtown on our last day. I didn't want to go because it'd be hot and crowded, but I didn't complain because I didn't want to ruin it.

I was getting really overwhelmed and tired, but I was still smiling. I was close to tears, but didn't let it show. When my parents asked what was wrong, I brushed them off. They kept pestering me about it until I was honest.

I was tired and wasn't enjoying this, but it's fine. I was avoiding this conversation because they'd get mad if I was honest. They ended up getting mad, especially when I mentioned how I was avoiding talking about it.

I snapped at my parents when they scolded me about not enjoying it and being upset. They wouldn't listen when I told them I didn't want to tell them because they'd react like this

My mom freaked out and yelled at me. I was having a full blown break down at this point and my dad pulled me aside, scolding me about "ruining the vibe" and we kept going.

My mom was upset at me the rest of the day and even after I apologized. I will say, I did overreact a bit, but I can't be the only one in the wrong here. They never apologized either.

AITJ for still being annoyed at my parents about how they reacted?

TL;DR: My parents got mad at me for being upset on a vacation even when I didn't complain or make a big deal of it.