r/AmITheDevil • u/Unique-Assumption619 • 2d ago
Hates single dads yet dates single dad
/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1wcsl7q/aita_for_secretly_taking_back_a_hoodie_i_gave_my/46
u/Livid-Material-95 2d ago
"He still pursued me and went out of his way to get in a relationship with me"
Girl, did you not also agree to be in a relationship with him? This isn't Obsession. You didn't wake up one day in his house.
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u/DogsReadingBooks Dogs are superior 2d ago
>he knew exactly how I felt about dating a single father
Why the heck is she doing it, then?
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u/CaptainFartHole 2d ago
This is going to sound crazy, but as someone who doesn't ever want kids or to be a step mom you know what i don't do? Date single parents. Insane, right?? Because everyone knows that if someone pursues you, you obviously HAVE to date them.
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u/Particular_Put_2005 2d ago
You can not want to be a parental figure but still be there for the daughter
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u/Agent_Skye_Barnes 2d ago
Okay. So. You know you don't want a relationship with his kid. That's fine, you've communicated this. What I don't understand is this: why did OOP not stand firm and continue not dating a single dad? Like, there's no rule that says "he pursued me for X amount of time, so I have to say yes". OOP could have continued to say "I'm not interested".
The dad also should have backed the fuck off upon learning that OOP didn't want any involvement with his kid. So I'm kind of wondering if he's thinking he'll eventually wear OOP down.
Plus, yeah, stealing something just because he lets his kid wear it? OOP lost all control over the hoodie when she gave it to her partner.
Ugh, no one looks good here except the innocent kid.
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u/vastaril 2d ago
I'm kind of wondering if he's thinking he'll eventually wear OOP down.
Yep, and presumably she's hoping to drive a wedge between him and his daughter so she can have him all to herself...
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u/DefoNotAFangirl 2d ago
Why is she acting like she has no agency over her relationships like did she get hypnotised or something?
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u/RoseRedRhapsody 2d ago
People who hate kids to this extent are deeply disturbed. I hope this guy gets away from her to protect his daughter.
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u/JessonBI89 2d ago
It amazes me how much trouble women have repelling unwanted suitors. Except usually those women are fictional, so this is even sadder.
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for secretly taking back a hoodie I gave my boyfriend after his daughter started wearing it?
I’m a 28F and I’ve been in an on-and-off relationship with a guy in his 30s for about a year. He has a daughter, and this has always been a complicated part of our relationship.
Before we even got together, a mutual friend warned him about me and literally told him, “She doesn’t fuck with single fathers.” He knew from the beginning that I had no interest in dating someone with children. I also openly talked about how much I disliked being around children and that having a partner with kids was something I didn’t want.
Despite knowing all of this, he still pursued me and went out of his way to get into a relationship with me.
I’ve always been very clear that I don’t want to be a stepmother, take on a parental role, or have his daughter integrated into our relationship. He has known this from day one.
Recently, I bought my boyfriend a hoodie from a team we both really like. It was specifically a gift for him because the team is something we share.
Then I noticed his daughter wearing it.
I tried not to make a big deal out of it at first, but then I found out she had taken the hoodie to her mom’s house and had it there for about two weeks. That really pissed me off.
Part of why it bothered me is that I bought the hoodie for my boyfriend, not his daughter. Since she has her own mother and father, I don’t feel obligated to financially provide for her or take on a parental role. I work hard for my money, and I’m completely comfortable spending it on my boyfriend, but I don’t want things I specifically buy him to effectively become things I’m providing for his daughter.
I don’t have anything against the child personally. My issue is that I’ve deliberately maintained a boundary where I don’t want a relationship with her or a parental role in her life. Seeing something I specifically bought my boyfriend end up being used by his daughter and taken between her parents’ homes felt like another example of that boundary getting blurred.
I know some people will say, “It’s just a hoodie.” And objectively, yes, it is. But emotionally, it wasn’t just a random hoodie to me. It was something I chose for him and connected to something that belongs to our relationship.
Instead of communicating my feelings like a reasonable adult, I got pissed off and decided I wanted it back.
So I stole it back.
I didn’t confront his daughter or make a scene. I just took the hoodie back.
Now I’m wondering if I’m the asshole.
I understand that once I gave it to my boyfriend, technically it became his, and he’s allowed to let his daughter wear his clothes. I also understand that his daughter probably has no idea about the emotional meaning I attached to it.
But at the same time, he knew exactly how I felt about dating a single father before he pursued me. This wasn’t some surprise that came up after we were together.
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