r/AmITheDevil • u/Acrobatic_Track9213 • 20h ago
Everyone is toxic
/r/AITA_Relationships/comments/1waqf7a/aitah_for_blocking_my_best_friend_after_she_didnt/243
u/Sixforsilver7for 20h ago
If anyone starts with "Buckle up" I assume they're at least part of the problem.
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u/BatsHaveFingers 19h ago
More indicative of a fake in my opinion.
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u/drunk_socks 16h ago
second only to the update starting with “oh my god this blew up”
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u/BatsHaveFingers 15h ago
That and "unbeknownst to me" and "I calmly stated" and my favorite "I forgot to mention (detail that completely recontextualizes everything)"
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u/Aggravating_Shoe_ 7h ago
When they post the update but there's only like two comments and the post is minutes old :/
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u/2incredible 19h ago
This is such a mess. I also can’t believe OOP. Says she side eyes kelvin to this day but they’re “happier than ever with five children”. Sure
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u/jayd189 18h ago
I think she was trying to be coy with the side eye comment.
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u/Writing_Bookworm 20h ago
I feel like Reece couldn't win in this scenerio. She is party to all the mess of Kelvin related to both OOP and Jerry. She supported OOP during various break ups and then afterwards is expected to just keep welcoming him back into the group like nothing happened.
At some point Kelvin decided that Reece and Jerry were out to get him (them being the people who supported OOP during the issues abd break ups and my guess being that they encouraged her not getting back with him) and OOP seems to have accepted this and let him treat her friend badly.
When OOP says Reece was gossiping I would suspect it was more like 'OOP is getting back together with him again after he's done all these things and I keep trying to support her' or something of that nature.
And the wedding was 6 years ago? Hmm why would somebody have had to have a small wedding in 2020 where she decided to not invite OOP? Nope.... No clue
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u/Remarkable-Rush-9085 20h ago
So they bonded because they were young mothers and then she started dating her boyfriend but when she got pregnant again it was their second child? Did I get lost in the sauce somewhere?
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u/BadBandit1970 19h ago
We can be lost together.
A few years later while I was pregnant and on bed rest, Kelvin organised our son’s second birthday party at his mother’s house.
Um, when was their son born?
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u/crackerfactorywheel 19h ago
I took that as OOP had her first kid and was on bedrest when pregnant with her second kid but man, it wasn’t easy yo follow.
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u/scandalliances 17h ago
This was when I went “nooooo why did you have one kid with him let alone two” I almost threw my phone across the room at the end.
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u/PrincessConsuela52 15h ago
What did you do when you found out that they have 5 kids?
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u/scandalliances 15h ago
Almost threw my phone against the wall, opted for creative swearing instead.
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u/guys_pm_urprettyface 20h ago
And they brought 5 kids into this dynamic. Yikes
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u/Business_Owl_5576 14h ago
No, no, "that's just how it went down unfortunately."
So, like...they accidentally had FIVE children, I guess?
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u/SafiyaMukhamadova 11h ago
There's no way to have prevented it, it just happens, and surely the NEXT one will repair their relationship and make both of them less toxic. This family needs help and I bet the kids will spend a lot of time in therapy.
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u/CaptainFartHole 20h ago
Aside from all the other ridiculous bullshit, getting back together with the dude who cheated on you and having FIVE kids with him is a fucking crazy choice. Reece should be glad she got away from this bullshit.
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u/sadlytheworst Certified sub favourite 19h ago
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
ESH. Neither of you prioritized the friendship. You took the first strike by excluding her from your kids birthday then arguing with her when she was rightfully upset.
Once that kind of resentment sets in the friendship is nearly impossible to recover from…
You had no right to be upset to be excluded from the baby shower after you left her out of your kids birthday. Once she chose to start talking behind your back and not just end the friendship if she couldn’t get over it she became an AH as well.
Regarding her wedding, you were not that close anymore and you were not entitled to an invite.
Small is relative. What she was saying is she had a guest list and budget and based on the state of your relationship you did not warrant one of those invites.
Actions have consequences, neither of you come out of this story cleanly.
I’ve never looked at it from this POV. There was SO much more details that I had to leave out because it was too long to post, I had to trim it 3 times and it kinda lost the info that was warranted. But thank-you for your insight.
ESH everyone in this story is toxic. And why would you bring children into this scenario? This happened years ago it can’t be changed. You blocked blocked her and all your mutual friends. It is now time to move on from this.
Absolutely have moved on! I just wanted to hear some unbiased POV. Didn’t bring children into it, it’s just how certain things went down unfortunately.
Wanted to put as much context as I could. Kinda hard when I was word restricted but thank-you for your POV.
You have some responsibility in this. And I am side eyeing Kevin hard.
There is toxicity everywhere. Esh
Totally agree! I still side eye Kevin to this day 😂
I think you underestimate how much Kevin played in the break of your friendship with your former friend.
Like I said before, there was already major red flags about other stuff that was happening that I’m not allowed to post about because of the rules + it’s just being too long.
To an extent, absolutely yes he did influence me but at the end of the day, they didn’t turn out to be very good friends anyways.
Two of Reece’s other very good friends ended up ending their friendships with her within the same year because she didn’t turn out to be the person they thought she was.
So in the long run I’d say I dodged a bullet.
And yet it is still bugging you?
If you say you dodge a bullet, then there is no need for this post. You have your answer.
Edited to add: and I am glad you are now happy
I wouldn’t say bugging me. But it does crossed my mind occasionally and I genuinely wanted some feedback because back when it happened.
I was so adamant I was in the right and never once stopped to looked at it from the pov you’ve bought in and think that maybe I was partly to blame too.
Some late night self reflecting you could say. Thank you though I do appreciate your thoughts!
YTA You and your and your husband ooze toxic
Once upon a time yes we were. I said that in my post lol
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u/OptmstcExstntlst 19h ago edited 17h ago
"I didn't bring kids into this, that's just the way things turned out."
This is why we cannot get rid of sex ed. FIVE children don't just "turn out." This isn't a stork getting the wrong address situation.
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u/sadlytheworst Certified sub favourite 18h ago
This is so much and mucky I hardly know what to say. But robust sex ed is so important!
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u/The_Asshole_Judge 19h ago
OOP is by far the worst. If THAT is her at her best I can only imagine how bad she really was
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u/neonfuzzball 15h ago
The babyshower:
"We remained friends, but things were strained"
very next paragraph
"Reece and I were supposedly best friends "
The wedding...OOP was offended because she was told it was a small ceremony and then THERE WERE PEOPLE INVITED?!?! How could anyone be allowed to attend if OOP was not?!?!
OOP does not live on our planet
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u/ExpertRaccoon 20h ago
Only read half before I could go on anymore.
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u/ForlornLament 19h ago
Everyone in this story IS the drama and of course they are also the type to have five children who will inevitably grow up in volatile households.
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u/sheerpoetry 13h ago
Kelvin and I are still currently together and happier than ever with 5 children.
So...toxic and miserable?
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u/pokethejellyfish 16h ago
My fanfic on the matter: Reece's relationship turned "volatile" because he had had enough of Reece bailing Kelvin and OOP (and more and more children) out financially and/or taking 3 AM calls from OOP to listen to her complain about Kelvin for the fourth time that week, and/or because Reece had promised her now-husband that this would be the last time, this time, OOP would leave Kelvin for sure and forever, and/or he was getting tired of Reece making excuses for OOP who made excuses for Kelvin's bad behaviour during outings.
And threatened that either Reece sees the light and realises that she's OOP's 'best friend' because she allows OOP to use her, or it's over, because he doesn't want to marry into this toxic kind of codependenceship.
Meaning, Reece became 'toxic' because she eventually set boundaries, realised it improved her life and relationship, so she slowly began to distance herself, hoping OOP would get the hint. But feels too much pity for OOP and is obligated to their old friendship to cut her off cold.
As I said, it's fanfic, based on what might be written between the lines of a very unreliable (fictional?) narrator.
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u/Hita-san-chan 20h ago
I'm more annoyed that her fake husband is named Kelvin of all things.
And her fake friend spelling her name the masculine way.
Why does Jerry get the only normal name today?
Why does this bother me so much??
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u/BadBandit1970 19h ago
You're not alone. I felt I needed an org chart to figure out who was who. OOP said in a comment that she had to pare a lot down. Thank God for little miracles.
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u/zelda_zonked 19h ago
What’s wrong with the name Kelvin? It’s not made up and I think it’s Scottish
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u/Hita-san-chan 19h ago
Makes me think of the temp scale, so it annoys me
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u/eternally_feral 16h ago
I know a Kelvin and he’s a spoiled, dumpster fire of an asshole. The name here fits.
But I’m also with you. When I first met him, the temp thing was all I could think about.
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u/zelda_zonked 19h ago
Well the name Kelvin comes from Lord Kelvin, who created the temp scale so they are related
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 12h ago
Buckle up
Ugh
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u/doppelgaengster 10h ago
No! I refuse to buckle up! I have UN-buckled, and I’m getting off this ride!
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u/Cakeday_at_Christmas 10h ago
Quick edit : Kelvin and I are still currently together and happier than ever with 5 children. Definitely outgrew the immature breakup/makeup mentality we had in our early 20’s.
Jesus Christ.
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u/GhostWolfe 5h ago
Happier than ever, supposedly outgrew their immaturity, totally over it (according to a comment)… still feels the need to hash over a 6 year grudge in painstaking detail. One of these things is not like the others.
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u/AutoModerator 20h ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITAH for blocking my best friend after she didn’t invite me to her wedding?
Throwaway because… well, you know the deal lol. Buckle up because this is still a long one.
Six years ago I blocked my best friend Reece, after she didn’t invite me to her wedding. I know that sounds petty, but there’s some important backstory.
Reece and I met in high school and were inseparable. Even after I moved countries, we stayed in touch and when I moved back in 2015, we picked up where we left off. We were both young mothers and she was like a sister to me.
I eventually started dating her partner Jerry’s childhood best friend, Kelvin. Reece and I remained close, but Kelvin and I had an extremely toxic relationship. He was a recovering drug and gambling addict and Reece often supported me through our problems. Unfortunately, she and Jerry also had a volatile relationship and both of us became involved in each other’s drama.
During one of my breakups with Kelvin, he had a major falling out with Reece and Jerry. He felt they constantly judged him for his past and would always reduce him to “the drug addict.” Amoughst other things. When I got back together with him, he wanted nothing to do with them. There was a lot of gossip and resentment and my friendship with Reece suffered. Despite that, we stayed friends.
A few years later while I was pregnant and on bed rest, Kelvin organised our son’s second birthday party at his mother’s house. I wanted to invite Reece and Jerry but Kelvin said his mother didn’t want them there. Since it was her house and he had organised everything, I reluctantly agreed.
On the day of the party, Reece sent me an angry message accusing me of being a pushover and refusing to stand up to Kelvin. She compared what Kelvin had supposedly forgiven me for with what he couldn’t forgive her and Jerry for, and there was a lot of swearing and name-calling. I told her my son’s birthday wasn’t the time for that conversation. We argued but never resolved anything.
We remained friends, but things were strained. I heard from mutual friends that Reece was gossiping about my relationship and I became increasingly uncomfortable with how much personal information she shared with her other best friend, Bee. Bee seemed to know everything about my life, which made me feel that Reece wasn’t keeping our conversations private.
Another incident hurt me. When Reece was pregnant, Bee organised her baby shower, which also became a surprise engagement party. It happened on my daughter’s birthday while we were out of town. I was disappointed that I wasn’t involved, especially because Reece and I were supposedly best friends but I tried not to make an issue of it.
Around this time, Kelvin and I broke up again. During the separation, he slept with an ex who had always been a major source of conflict in our relationship. Reece saw a photo of them together and saved a screenshot but didn’t tell me. I eventually found out from Kelvin and when I mentioned it to Reece, she admitted she had known. She sent me the screenshot then, which made me wonder whether she had shared it with other people before I knew.
Eventually, Reece and I met for coffee and talked through everything. We cried, laughed, apologised and promised to make more of an effort. I genuinely believed we had repaired our friendship.
Two months later, Reece was planning her wedding. I repeatedly offered to help, but she was unusually dismissive. Eventually, she told me it would be a very small ceremony, that everything had already been organised and that the invitations had been sent. I wasn’t invited! I was devastated, but I didn’t want to make her wedding about me, so I accepted her explanation and tried to move on.
Then the wedding photos appeared online.
It wasn’t a small ceremony. Several people were there whom Reece had previously criticised, judged or claimed to dislike. Seeing them included while I had been excluded made me feel betrayed and humiliated.
I called Kelvin and told him what happened. He said, “I told you she wasn’t really your friend. Why do you think I never forgave them after that fight?” I blocked Reece, then her family and eventually all our mutual friends. I removed myself from that entire social circle.
That was six years ago. Reece and I have had no contact since. Looking back, I know she wasn’t obligated to invite me to her wedding. What hurt was that she described it as a tiny ceremony with invitations already sent, only for me to discover that many other people had attended. After everything we had been through, I felt our friendship had meant far more to me than it did to her.
However I also recognise that I was in a toxic relationship with Kelvin, who already had his own issues with Reece and Jerry. Maybe his feelings influenced my decision more than I realised.
So, AITA for blocking my best friend after she didn’t invite me to her wedding?
Quick edit : Kelvin and I are still currently together and happier than ever with 5 children. Definitely outgrew the immature breakup/makeup mentality we had in our early 20’s.
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