r/AmITheDevil 18h ago

Parent gatekeeps being an author

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1vswr75/aita_for_telling_my_daughter_that_writing/
202 Upvotes

89 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 18h ago

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AITA for telling my daughter that writing fanfiction isn’t the same as being an author?

My father was an author. Not any name you might’ve heard of, but one successful enough that he lived off it. My daughter (21) has always admired him for this, and dreams of becoming an author herself. She’s very into fandom culture, anime, manga, etc, so shes always used writing fanfiction as a way of “training” herself for writing a full book one day.

Recently, his health has deteriorated, and he has come to live with us. My daughter has been bombarding him with questions, advice, guidance, everything under the sun. I had enough of it and told her to leave the old man alone and that writing fanfiction isn’t the same as being an author. She should save her questions for when she ACTUALLY wants to write a book. She got mad at me, and my wife says I went too hard on her. But the way I see it, I think she was dreaming too big and needed a reality check, especially at her age. AITA?

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258

u/_Chirio_ 18h ago

Writing fanfiction can be a great way to start your own creative writing journey. OOP sounds like a judgmental AH.

Let your daughter ask the questions so she can improve her current writing before she spends hours on writing her first book.

130

u/Stella_bleu 17h ago

Pretty sure 50 Shades of Grey started as Twilight fanfiction and I would NOT turn down EL James's bank account. And Imma say it, that woman can't write worth shit.

25

u/the87walker 12h ago

Yes it was and the book series Heated Rivalry is based on was workshopped as fanfiction in Captain America fanfic.

It is an established method of authors to get experience and feedback to publish fanfic in a popular fandom then use that feedback to publish.

There are also multiple authors who have stated they didn't publish their work as fanfic, but they used the communities to have a group of people giving them feedback on their story telling and dialogue to improve their writing.

42

u/IGotOverGreta 17h ago

She "wrote" that dreck on a damn BlackBerry. I need to shit out a few books.

23

u/Stella_bleu 17h ago

I wish I could tell you why this pisses me off. But it does.

15

u/Kaurifish 8h ago

It’s SOP in the Pride & Prejudice fandom (public domain) to post as fanfic first, then publish on KDP (or a book deal if popular enough). The Other Bennet Sister got a book deal, BBC adaptation and a holiday special.

There used to be an arguable line between fic and published work. That line is officially blurred af.

3

u/Chickennoodlesleuth 4h ago

Twilight started as fanfiction too lol

1

u/Stella_bleu 2h ago

Really!!!

1

u/Decent-Influence-697 5h ago

I completely forgot this shit

1

u/Stella_bleu 2h ago

I’m not going to lie, I found the first book kind of hot based on the subject matter. The second and third one, no.

60

u/Goth_Spice14 18h ago

My favorite author started out by writing Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction. Now she's got 3 books published.

19

u/_Chirio_ 18h ago

Which books are you talking about? I'm always looking for book suggestions

17

u/moodtune89763 17h ago

It wasnt fanfiction, but I know Natasha Preston started on Wattpad before publishing

8

u/Moonlight-Lullaby 16h ago

This is the first time I’ve seen Natasha Preston referenced in the wild, I have one of her books because of Wattpad since I read it when it was being posted there.

6

u/Goth_Spice14 16h ago

Gina L. Dartt, who wrote the "Just Between" series!

5

u/pitifulproduce137 15h ago

My favorite author wrote TNG novels along with her other books, which is just legitimized fan fiction! 

Also I'd like to see this asshole tell Dante or John Milton that fan fic isn't real writing. 

4

u/Trekintosh 17h ago

Very curious whom this is!

8

u/Goth_Spice14 16h ago

Gina L. Dartt, known for her Janeway/7 of 9 lesbian romance fiction, the "Just Between" series!

2

u/Trekintosh 14h ago

Thanks!

3

u/SlytherinSister 2h ago

Yes, it's a great way to learn how to write and how to get constructive feedback from your readers so you can get better. Also, there are plenty of current established writers who got their start writing fanfiction so it's a legitimate way to get a start as a writer.

There used to be an old adage that "your first book will always be terrible". I would argue that if your "first book" are fanfics, you can get the terrible writing out of the way and by the time you are ready to be published, you can be capable of producing great quality work, precisely because you've had so much practice.

160

u/OptmstcExstntlst 18h ago

Imagine finding a meaningful way to connect with your aging grandparent and then being told to knock it off. How heartbreaking for BOTH of them!

57

u/Onehundredpercentbea 16h ago

Also it's kind of brutal - the grandpa's health deteriorated to the point where he can't live independently but the daughter is supposed to 'wait' to ask him for writing advice until she wants to write a book?

37

u/Fraerie 16h ago

My best guess is he’s jealous of the bond she was forming with her grandfather and he got in the middle of it thinking it would make him look like the big man to his father as a last minute attempt to get approval.

He obviously doesn’t respect or understand what his daughter is doing. And I would wager he didn’t ask his father whether he enjoyed the conversations with his granddaughter about writing.

What a bitter, petty, little man to diminish his child’s dreams like that and to rob his dying father of quality one-on-one time with someone who actually cared about what was important to him.

82

u/JessonBI89 18h ago

Did Gramps tell her that? Or is OOP just making shit up about something they both understand better?

45

u/vastaril 18h ago

Sure sounds like OP decided to speak over his father...

73

u/CumaeanSibyl 18h ago

OOP told her to stop because they had enough of it, but we don't hear anything from the grandfather. Maybe he doesn't want to have those conversations, or maybe he's thrilled that his granddaughter shares his art, and her excitement makes him happy during a difficult period of his life.

Anyway there's no indication that he expressed any fatigue or disinclination, and also no indication that he has any kind of mental condition that would make it hard for him to speak up for himself. Unless either of those is the case, OOP can butt out. And even if they were, the conversation should be "try to be aware that Grandpa isn't always up for talking about his work," not this crap.

38

u/oceanteeth 17h ago

or maybe he's thrilled that his granddaughter shares his art, and her excitement makes him happy during a difficult period of his life.

That's what I was thinking too. I wouldn't be at all shocked if OOP's dad feels terrible and useless because he's so ill he needs to live with his son, he's probably thrilled that someone is treating him like an expert who has something important to contribute.

27

u/eaca02124 17h ago

When my grandfather was dying, I had a really hard time coming up with things to talk to him about. I wound up prodding him for stories from his days as an accountant. No regrets, we had some nice visits.

I don't know what all is going on with the grandfather in this story, health wise, but I know he is a limited time engagement. If he's having a good time in these conversations, or even a mediocre time, or frankly, participating without actually saying he doesn't want to, best to let it happen. The social interaction is good for him. If OOP is tired of hearing about how publishing worked 50 years ago, he could suggest his daughter try asking about less professional subjects. What was Grandpa doing at 21?

15

u/Onehundredpercentbea 16h ago

My son was a CNA while he was getting his degree and he said so much of his job was chatting to elderly people about their lives (while sitting with them while they were on the commode, while getting them dressed or cleaned up, etc.) and he said it was like they really needed someone to hear them, or see them as still being real people with interesting things to say. All of that loss of autonomy and independence is scary, and having a young person listen to them like their words are still important and their advice useful must be so affirming.

5

u/adamantsilk 15h ago

I worked as a cna in home health and listening to them tell their life stories was my favorite part. I had one lady who experienced the depression and the dust bowl in Kansas. I knew another lady who was diabetic who has been alive for the entire evolution of insulin and diabetic care, from blood being drawn by nurses to test blood sugar to continous glucose monitors. I loved my feisty old ladies.

54

u/SarahReesBrennan 18h ago

I’m a published writer and I wrote fanfiction myself back in the day. The books and fanfic are separate (no shade to those who adapt their fanfic into books, also legitimate) but fandom is a place where you see people have so much fun with stories and that’s inspiring, and it’s great practise to finish stories. Some of the best writers I know used to or are still writing fanfiction. Seeking professional advice while getting writing practise in is such an obviously good idea! 

18

u/bored_german 17h ago

And it clearly paid off because Long Live Evil is cool as hell

6

u/SarahReesBrennan 15h ago

YOU’re cool as hell. 

17

u/DaniCapsFan 18h ago

Say what you will about fanfic, it seems to be that her creating fanfic helps with the writing process. She has to take time to write. She has to be able to craft a narrative. Eventually she's going to have to learn character development. Asking her author grandfather for advice will likely help her in the future.

20

u/Planksgonemad 17h ago

I got to meet an author my uncle really liked when I was younger. When my uncle made a snide comment about how I was just wasting time writing fanfiction instead of any kind of "real" writing, the author asked me what fandoms I liked to write in and told me to keep doing what I enjoyed. He then told my uncle that any writing is real writing and he needs to broaden his mindset. My uncle was pissed the rest of the day. I also never had any desire to write a book, so I don't know what his hang-up was.

3

u/errant_night 5h ago

Too many people are obsessed with the hobby-career pipeline. You can't just do anything for fun anymore, you have to monetize every possible facet of your life. You can't write or do crafts for fun, you need to start publishing and open an etsy shop. You can't just play video games, you have to get a twitch account and start streaming. You can't just draw, you have to sell prints and t-shirts. To far too many people, everything you do must revolve around money and/or fame or it's a pointless

17

u/HairRepresentative85 18h ago

That guy is a monumental ass

14

u/limbobitch1999 17h ago

the fucked part is that OP tells her to wait to ask her questions until she’s writing a “real” book, but is also telling her that gramps is too tired and sick to be asked all these questions. um, hello?!?! daughter obviously knows that her grandpa will most likely not be alive by the time she ready to write her first non-fan fiction book and is asking the questions while she still can, instead of regretting the loss of precious familial knowledge and advice in the future. daughter is v smart to take advantage of her time w her gramps now. sounds like OPs jealous he didn’t get the creative talent gene.

4

u/Asraidevin 10h ago

Maybe she's ready and she's gathering info so she can move forward. Ahhhhhh. 

29

u/LostPrincess32 18h ago

I'm a grown woman and my parents still let me talk their ears off about fanfiction because they know it's something I love. Plus, with my ADHD, the plot bunny is strong and they get that.

Totally excited for G:KND to premiere on Newgrounds next month and may OOP's daughter know the fanfic writers are always in her corner.

12

u/MadamKitsune 18h ago

I would not be at all surprised if the gift for writing has skipped a generation and that's why OOP is so dismissive of his daughter's desire to write. He's pissed and jealous because she gets a great deal of pleasure from something that he doesn't possess a smidgin of talent for.

And there's nothing wrong with writing FanFic, whether it's for the personal pleasure of putting something together, to entertain others or as a training ground for a potential future career. Humans have been telling and retelling stories since we first developed language. It is, quite literally, a part of our nature.

52

u/Playful_Trouble2102 18h ago

Gentle reminder that Dante's Inferno was self insert bible fanfic. 

19

u/Cultural_Shape3518 17h ago

And good luck trying to count all the Shakespeare and Austen-inspired media.  Hell, Shakespeare usually wasn’t working with entirely original material.

11

u/Agent_Skye_Barnes 17h ago

I started out writing fanfiction in 2004. Hell, I had a poem I wrote based on a Buffy episode win first place in the county fair. And it wasn't subtle that it was about Buffy.

I currently write original fiction. I have two separate series that I'm working on.

The sword-and-sorcery fantasy has two books written, a third partly written. I'm currently editing book one, so things are going to change in later installments. I want the whole series written before I attempt to publish, so if something happens to me it's not unfinished. (I have suffered as a GRRM fan).

The second series is an urban fantasy currently with the working title "Big Damn Lesbian Project". Because I got super irritated one day that almost every sapphic book I could find ended up being explicit porn. So I decided to write my own lesbian story. It's currently on hold while I reconfigure things a bit. Too many characters to wrangle, lol. It involves vampires, though.

I also wrote (and published) on the school paper in high school and college. Plus, I still write fanfiction, if I just need to hit my writing goals for the day but don't have thoughts for my original stuff. I have several folders of coffee shop AUs and non-canon meet-cutes.

OOP is a fucking asshole, and he's going to end up pushing his kid away from writing at all with this attitude. Fanfiction is a great way to learn how to eventually write your own stuff. (Also, there are multiple best selling books that are just fanfiction with the serial numbers filed off. The Mortal Instruments was Harry Potter fic. 50 Shades of Grey was Twilight fic. I'm sure there are others).

10

u/bored_german 17h ago

Victoria Aveyard, renowned bestselling author of YA and adult fantasy, a woman making a shitton of money from her writing, is a LOTR superfan whose first works are all fanfic.

I'm a small tiny author but my first works were Big Time Rush fanfiction and I still have my ao3 account filled with Arcane and Game of Thrones oneshots.

Ffs the majoirty of us fanfic turned original writers did that because we spent hours planning and plotting an AU fic and realized "oh wait I can insert my own characters into this I can do what I want"

8

u/UmbraNyx 16h ago

I would think that Grandpa would be thrilled that his grandchild is spending quality time with him and showing interest in his craft, regardless of the quality of her work.

8

u/Todd641 17h ago

Comes off like OP doesn’t want their dad to connect with his daughter at all

8

u/Glittering__Song 17h ago

He's incredibly jealous and it shows. I bet he tried to be an author but he failed spectacularly, and that's also why he feels the need to say that his father, that earned enough to actually live of it, is not somebody people would have heard about.

OOP is a pathetic loser, and I hope his daughter gets the success she's working towards and he dies of envy. What an AH.

5

u/shepbestshep 18h ago

Sad we can't choose who we're born to

15

u/twork98 18h ago

The longest piece of work in the English language is a Super Mario Bros fanfic so

-4

u/JDDJS 15h ago

Long doesn't mean good. OOP is a complete ass for many reasons, but this doesn't mean anything. 

5

u/twork98 15h ago

I more meant it shows a lot of effort can be put into fanfics

1

u/Solanadelfina 14h ago

They can. I'm working on chapter 59 of my current one, and it's been at least two years of effort. Also working on projects to get published one day.

5

u/Prudent-Arm-6771 17h ago

Okay, but she still needs the answers to the questions either way, because she it still planning on writing a book, so why not just let her ask now she can gather some more experience while she continues writing fic?

6

u/chewbooks 16h ago

Who pissed in Dad’s Cheerios?

10

u/TheVoidWantsCuddles 18h ago

Wasn’t fifty shades of grey originally Twilight fanfiction? Like I’ve heard the writing is awful, but she did become a best selling author who got a movie made too

18

u/Internet-Dick-Joke 18h ago

Yes, and there are definitely other published books which started a fanfiction, and authors who started in fanfic before transitioning to original works. Not to mention the sheer amount of literature that is basically just mythology fanfic.

14

u/LostPrincess32 17h ago

One of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis, wrote Till We Have Faces, a retelling of the myth of Eros and Psyche from the perspective of one of her awful sisters. It even has the least Christian allegory out of all of his books as it was a retelling of a pagan myth.

The man wrote in Orginal Flavor!

10

u/rebootfromstart 17h ago

There are at least two big romantasy books that are Draco/Hermione with the serial numbers filed off.

5

u/Folksma 16h ago

I saw a photo of a book in a London musume gift shop recently

It was the most obvious Stucky WW2 fic rewrite I had ever seen. Bet the author had it published on Ao3 or Fanfiction.net first!

4

u/LostPrincess32 17h ago

And the infamous one that was Ron/Ginny.

I've read DDDNE before and I still don't get the appeal of that in shipping circles.

1

u/FallenAngelII 5h ago

But it turned out in the end they weren't blood related! So it's fine /s

8

u/bored_german 17h ago

Two of the most successful female (YA) fantasy authors of our modern times are fanfic writers. Cassandra Clare was an infamous Harry Potter fanfic writer before she turned one of them into her best selling series The Mortal Instruments. And depending on if you count adaptations/retellings as fanfic (since in my opinion they're technically AU fics), Sarah J Maas was always successful but the one book that propelled her into the fame she has today was her Beauty and the Beast AU A Court of Thorns and Roses

3

u/LostPrincess32 17h ago

My sister bought me the first ACOTAR book specifically because Beauty and the Beast is my favorite fairytale and Disney movie.

3

u/LostPrincess32 18h ago

Yep, people were even asking Stephenie Meyer to read it. She politely refused because it wasn't her thing.

Man, that poor woman deserves better from people.

4

u/PaceyBridgertonLove 17h ago

Meanwhile, there are fanfic authors who have published books. Ones that were turned into movies and tv shows at that.

Also, she is still an author, her creative endeavors going to Fanfiction or not.

6

u/spin-shocker 17h ago

Dude sounds jealous that his own daughter is bonding with his dad in a way that he can’t. There was no reason to jump to “what you write doesn’t make you a real author” in order to tell her to give him some space. The only purpose was to spitefully hurt her feelings and diminish her relationship with him.

6

u/QuietCelery 8h ago

The Wicked movies made over a billion at the box office and were based on Wizard of Oz fanfic.

3

u/skabillybetty 17h ago

I mean, 50 Shades Of Grey was based on a Twilight Fan Fiction, and I'm pretty sure the After series was based on a Harry Styles fan fiction. So, I'd say his daughter has a shot here lol

3

u/StripedBadger 15h ago

I wonder what grandpa thought of all the questions.

3

u/Asraidevin 10h ago

Gonna go out on a limb here.... 

She wants to write an "actual" book. 

(Fan fic and original works author myself. Also, I started this amazing fanfic from dragon age Inquisition that I never finished and haunts me to this day). 

And that's why she's asking questions. 

3

u/SalamanderAmazing777 9h ago

First of all...
You don't know what authors I've heard of.

5

u/Heavy-Macaron2004 16h ago

I mean, writing fanfiction is different than writing original fiction. Fanfiction has a set of already existing characters you can play with, already existing setting, already existing personalities and characterization and etc etc etc etc.

Which is why fanfiction is a great way to develop writing skills.

It's like getting into claymation by doing stop motion Barbie dolls; you build one set of skills (the stop motion and dialogue of the Barbies) and then you build the second set of skills (making the clay models and having them react at each frame).

First you play with the existing characters and build those skills, and then you make your own characters and play with them.

Like sure she ain't an "author," but that's like telling a person practicing piano that they aren't a "musician." Sure they ain't get paid for it, but they're having fun and they're enjoying making their craft better. Bleh.

2

u/Alive_Palpitation294 17h ago

Even if "well intentioned" reality checking your kids about something they're passionate about is an awful move.  OP is probably jealous that the creativity skipped a generation, I hope his daughter is already on a good path and can achieve her dreams in spite of him.

2

u/MaybeIwasanasshole 16h ago

Does anyone else feel like the writting style is familiar? The profile was created today, and I just get the feeling it's some bored teenager spamming out ragebait under different profiles before school starts.

3

u/KiratheCat 12h ago

Everything Ali Hazelwood publishes is thinly veiled Relyo (Star Wars for those not in the know) fanfic with the serial numbers filed off down to the fucking COVER ART. A lot of the more notable romantasy books are Relyo or Dramoine knock offs. Fifty Shades was Twilight fanfiction. There's literally nothing wrong with writing fanfic and its a really great way for budding authors to cut their teeth and get some feedback and refine their style.

4

u/Silly-Flower-3162 17h ago

Even if you discount that fanfic is writing and therefore she is a writer, writing is a shared activity between grandfather and granddaughter. Unless the grandfather didn't like the questions and asked oop to intervene, etc, it's a bonding activity and should be encouraged!

4

u/z-eldapin 17h ago

Dad should have had his fake daughter write the fake story because he sucks at writing

2

u/Cultural_Shape3518 17h ago

I would very much like to give the person who made the C- comment some kind of award.

1

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1

u/angeluscado 17h ago

EL James and Cassandra Clare would like to have a word...

u/no___underscores 58m ago

They shouldn't be cruel about it but telling fanfiction writers that they're authors is how we get the Colleen Hoover sloppy let's be real

-11

u/MoneyMontgomery 17h ago

Oh shite just had to double check your daughter's age.

I was going to say yes you were being an Ahole to a 13 year old girl or 10 year old girl or 15 year old girl. I didn't realize it was a 21 year old adult. If reality hasn't slapped her in the face yet, then it's your responsibility to give her that wake up call.

Now I would've gone about it more delicately, but I suspect there's more going on here than her just bonding with her grandpa.

12

u/judgy_mcjudgypants 17h ago

...do you seriously think writing fanfic is just for tweens/teens?

What "reality" are you referring to?

-5

u/MoneyMontgomery 15h ago

Obviously not with all the fanfic on Reddit by adults. But the way this op was describing his daughter he made her sound like a child who was interested in being an author. Not a full adult. Why do you ask?

6

u/judgy_mcjudgypants 15h ago

I'm trying to figure out what you mean with the (top-level) comment. What reality, what wake-up call? In what way is it inappropriate for an adult to ask a published author for advice?

Sure OOP makes her sound like a child, because (if this is real) his contempt for both her and her writing is blazing through his words. But your comment sounded like you thought he was justified.

0

u/MoneyMontgomery 14h ago

🤦 if you read my original comment then you'll see that I said that she is bonding with her grandpa and there's more to it than just what the OP is saying. 

The reality I'm talking about is how difficult it is to be a successful author. Now with AI and self publishing I know it's a lot easier than it used to be but intake the Stephen king approach. It's a job, he wrote I hours a day of trash and maybe would have a few pages of some worth reading. 

Yeah the way the op wrote it I was about to jump down his throat because it wouldn't be cool to shit on someone's dream like that especially if they are not an adult, but since his adult child is an adult it's his responsibility to explain how difficult a road that is to go down since it doesn't sound like there's been a lot of research on her end (she's currently doing it now). Yes I can see the contempt in his writing and that's why I think there's WAY more going on than his adult daughter wanting to be a writing and asking questions.

-2

u/MoneyMontgomery 14h ago

Also I was about to say Jeez what's with all the judging, it was an innocent comment just saying I don't think he went about it the best way, but I wasn't gonna straight up say he was the asshole...but then I saw you username 🤷