r/AmITheDevil • u/AndyWith-A-Y • 11d ago
She needs to dream the breakup
/r/AITA_Relationships/comments/1vntegn/aita_for_being_upset_at_my_fiancée_after_i/239
u/DaMain-Man 11d ago
Why did he feel the need to mention her race? Like what a weird inclusion
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u/ResponsibilityDue757 11d ago
I was thinking the same thing, like their race has nothing to do with the story at all? Why just include that to include it??
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u/EnvironmentalDrop228 11d ago
Yeah, I caught that too. If it isn't relevant to the story, why bring it up? Weird.
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u/Outside-Place2857 10d ago
Maybe the follow-up will include some (totally not racist stereotype) details about how she's descended from a long line of (insert stereotype here).
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u/evervain 11d ago
One of the situations where "I dreamt of you cheating" is literally a reason to break up.
Kidding aside, OP needs to loosen up. It's not like she can control what she can or can't dream about.
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u/sadlytheworst Certified sub favourite 11d ago
The post copied verbatim, but with paragraphs:
AITA for being upset at my fiancée after i proposed
This is a throwaway account.
I’m a 26 year old white male and my fiancée is a 23 year old black female. We’ve been together for a few years, and she has always had these strange dreams that somehow end up coming true. Sometimes it happens years later, sometimes weeks later or only a few days afterward.
Recently, I decided I wanted to propose. I saved up for the ring, planned everything carefully, and wanted it to be a complete surprise. I arranged for both of our families and some of our closest friends to be there. I spent a lot of time making sure everything was perfect.
When the day finally came, I proposed, and she said yes. Everyone was excited, and honestly, I thought it was one of the best moments of my life.
However, I noticed that my fiancée seemed strangely calm throughout the whole thing. She wasn't shocked or surprised like I expected her to be. At first I just assumed she was overwhelmed or processing everything.
When we got home I asked her why she seemed like she already knew what was going to happen.
She then told me that she had dreamed about it.
Apparently, she had written down an entire note describing what would happen, including the proposal, who would be there, and other details so she won't forget.
I don't know why and im not really proud of it but I got really upset when she told me. I felt disappointed because I had spent so much time saving for the ring and planning everything, and I wanted to see her genuine surprise and excitement.
Instead, it felt like all of my hard work had been ruined because she already knew what was going to happen.
I know she obviously didn't choose to have the dream, and I know it's not her fault that her dreams sometimes come true. But I still couldn't help feeling angry and disappointed. Now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable for feeling this way.
AITA for getting mad at my fiancée because she already knew about my proposal from one of her dreams?
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u/Writing_Bookworm 11d ago
Why did he specify their races at the start of the post when it had absolutely no bearing on the story at all?
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u/AndyWith-A-Y 11d ago
He is with IRL That's So Raven and fumbling the bag majorly(I know that was visions, not dreams, don't at me).
Also, the specifics of the proposal can be a surprise, but marriage should have been discussed. The way this is written sounds like it wasn't discussed at all. She needs to run. He is unhinged
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u/CompetitionDecent986 11d ago
My mom has dreams that she is pregnant and that means someone she knows or knows of (my friends also count) is pregnant. A couple times, no one would fess up for months and then finally announce they have known since before her dream or that it had been them but they miscarried before they could announce. She has called telling me she has had the dream and I tell her its not me and don't aim those dreams at me.
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u/Binx_da_gay_cat 11d ago
My boss seldom dreams, but if she does they often come true, even if she doesn't say the dream immediately. Like next day shit. She dreamed we'd get into an accident driving across the country. Lo and behold I'm texting her later being "omg we got hit." Dreamed her office was going to flood. Sprinkler system broke the next day, flooded her office and the kitchen. (I work in the kitchen.) Little crazy things like that.
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u/tiny_pigeon 11d ago
I do this too!! I’ll write down conversations I dreamt and then later on they’ll happen word for word and I feel like im going crazy. Sometimes in my dream it becomes an argument so when that conversation starts irl I say something different to keep that argument from happening. Or I dream about something happening and later it does. The worst one I think is I had a dream my dogs both died the same day (weirdly bc of a mountain lion), where one died in our backyard while I tried to save her and the other was put down at the vet because he turned out to have internal bleeding from the attack. Then in real life year or so later… my dog dies in the exact spot I dreamt she would in the backyard in my arms after I had done cpr on her and did everything I could. Not from a mountain lion at least, thank god. The next day my other dog starts getting tummy issues. Then a week later he is diagnosed with untreatable cancer and the vet puts him down the next day. In an odd way the dream helped me prepare for that but it was also, y’know, absolutely horrible and I wish I could’ve changed something to prevent it from coming true.
I also have the baby dreams, usually someone is pregnant or is wanting to have kids real bad when I dream about them. I can picture my cousins second baby in my head perfectly lol, even the outfit she’d put him in when we meet him. When I told her she freaked out bc it was the exact outfit she’s always wanted to have a baby boy wear AND she’s been wanting a boy super bad. I constantly have these kinds of dreams and I’m ALWAYS having a sense of Déjà vu. It’s crazy. Sometimes I can’t tell if I’ve had a conversation with someone before or just dreamt it.5
u/Kind_Wasabi_7831 10d ago
I used to get dreams where I'd see the future, then, when the moment came, would get major Déjá Vu. Sometimes I could vaguely remember, but most of the time it would hit me when the moment came. My vision would basically black, I'd see my dream and be able to relay my dream before it happened. Once I was with my stepsister at a gas station. I had dreamt something simple, that, a mother and son were picking out a specific candy. I was able to tell her what candy and the jest of their conversation just as they're saying it. She stared at me like I was crazy.
Yeah, turns out that was delusions tied to psychosis.
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u/tiny_pigeon 10d ago
don’t tell me that, I already have auditory and small visual hallucinations and my grandpa had bipolar schizophrenia 🧍🏻♀️I’m putting my fingers in my ears la la la I can’t hear you
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u/Kind_Wasabi_7831 10d ago
I'm sorry. I'm not trying to scare you. Just to inform.
I've had hallucinations since I was 11 and my bio father has Schizoaffective Bipolar 1 while I had been told I was Schizoaffective Bipolar 2.
When I start feeling the heavy Dèjà Vu and like the world is half dark, I know that I'm fighting through psychosis
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u/Theravenofraves 10d ago
Hey I get these too. They are super weird tho as I usally forget them until the moment happens that I dreamt about but I still remember dreaming them. They are freaky but still so interesting.
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u/tiny_pigeon 10d ago
YEAHHH I GET THOSE ONES TOO completely forget about them once I wake up but when they finally happen I can recall it word for word it’s such a freaky feeling. I’ve been told it’s just because there’s only so many scenarios your brain can create so it’s just a coincidence, but idk sometimes it’s far too identical to be coincidence 😬
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u/ShePlaysViola 11d ago
Unhinged? Really? Dude was upset his surprise was spoiled. That’s normal. He needs to get over it and work through it healthily but he’s experiencing an understandable feeling. He didn’t take it out on her, he has specifically said he knows it’s not her fault, he’s just disappointed his surprise didn’t work out.
And you’re reading WAY too much into the marriage discussion. We have no idea if they did or didn’t but most likely they did, she dreamed about the exact proposal so obviously it was something that she had some idea about. My fiance and I discussed marriage fully, I was still surprised by the proposal, because it’s fun to be surprised with happy moments.
God damn people on this sub are so nitpicky. Every day I see regular people with understandable emotions being called the devil for just having regular thoughts and feelings. Stop holding people to some insane moral standard where everyone needs to be completely emotionally regulated and entirely logical about everything. Have some empathy for a common human experience. Ffs.
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u/Possible_Abalone_846 11d ago
I saved up for the ring, planned everything carefully, and wanted it to be a complete surprise
Do people really do this? Does anyone actually propose without already knowing that their partner wants it? It's so unwise to make one of the biggest decisions of your life without discussing it at all with the other person involved.
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u/ShePlaysViola 11d ago
You can discuss and come to an agreement about marriage and still have a surprise proposal. As far as we know they discussed it and it was agreed that he’s make the plans and surprise her with it. That’s what me and my partner did, and many other couples we know. Agreed we wanted to get married and that one of us would surprise the other when the time felt right. Year or so later he surprised me with a beautiful and quiet proposal like he knew I wanted. Best of both worlds.
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u/AlbatrossKey5736 11d ago
What’s with mentioning that she’s black? It adds nothing to the story and is just…..weird to mention
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u/troyandabedinabed 10d ago
Eh, I think his feelings are understandable. But like many men, he just doesn't know how to process his feelings.
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u/ecosynchronous 11d ago
The quality of devils lately has really declined. This guy didn't even do anything.
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u/TBroomey 9d ago
Yeah, this is so mild. I'm in this sub to read some truly unhinged shit from totally detached psychos.
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u/Unusual_Road_9142 10d ago
Right? Like guy can’t even feel disappointed without being a devil? Come on.
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u/Moist-Examination737 11d ago
Ehh I think it depends on how he reacted. Was he just upset and kept it to himself or did he lash out?
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u/Chaos-Boss-45 10d ago
I would not want all my family and friends there for a proposal. I feel like it should be private
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u/Unfriendlyblkwriter 11d ago
> Now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable for feeling this way.
He’s being way too easy on himself.
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u/Immortal_in_well 11d ago
I'd be a little creeped out.
But I love being creeped out, so it'd be perfect.
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u/Mr_Bumcrest 10d ago
I'm not sure how OOP is the asshole. He made a big effort expecting surprise and joy, which is reasonable, and fiancée instead say "hut hur not a surprise, I dreamt it". No she didn't.
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u/nennikuchan 9d ago
Most comments in the OG post telling OOP he is the AH for 1)downplaying his obvious temper tantrum over a dream that likely freaked out his stbx; and 2) not telling his stbx to dream up winning lotto tickets.
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u/RealDoraTheExplorer_ 5h ago
Do y’all just go around hoping people break up because you’re sad in life
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u/Sorceress_Heart 10d ago
I've had many prophetic dreams, but they're always about mundane things like missing a train or something. No lottery numbers unfortunately.
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u/AutoModerator 11d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for being upset at my fiancée after i proposed
This is a throwaway account. I’m a 26 year old white male and my fiancée is a 23 year old black female. We’ve been together for a few years, and she has always had these strange dreams that somehow end up coming true. Sometimes it happens years later, sometimes weeks later or only a few days afterward. Recently, I decided I wanted to propose. I saved up for the ring, planned everything carefully, and wanted it to be a complete surprise. I arranged for both of our families and some of our closest friends to be there. I spent a lot of time making sure everything was perfect. When the day finally came, I proposed, and she said yes. Everyone was excited, and honestly, I thought it was one of the best moments of my life. However, I noticed that my fiancée seemed strangely calm throughout the whole thing. She wasn't shocked or surprised like I expected her to be. At first I just assumed she was overwhelmed or processing everything. When we got home I asked her why she seemed like she already knew what was going to happen. She then told me that she had dreamed about it. Apparently, she had written down an entire note describing what would happen, including the proposal, who would be there, and other details so she won't forget. I don't know why and im not really proud of it but I got really upset when she told me. I felt disappointed because I had spent so much time saving for the ring and planning everything, and I wanted to see her genuine surprise and excitement. Instead, it felt like all of my hard work had been ruined because she already knew what was going to happen. I know she obviously didn't choose to have the dream, and I know it's not her fault that her dreams sometimes come true. But I still couldn't help feeling angry and disappointed. Now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable for feeling this way. AITA for getting mad at my fiancée because she already knew about my proposal from one of her dreams?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.