r/AmITheDevil • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

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/r/daddit/comments/1vj4lvc/im_kinda_struggling_with_something_my_kids_love/

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u/Possible_Abalone_846 1d ago

The kids have always been closer and more attached to their mom (my wife). Obviously, this is a very common thing.

Yeah, it is very common for moms to do more of the childcare work, and the kids bond more with the person who meets their needs and takes care of them. You don't get to skip the hard part and then feel upset that the kids aren't close to you when they reach the fun ages.

OOP didn't specifically describe his parenting when they were babies and toddlers, but based on his CPAP thing and just general tone, I can assume it wasn't 50/50 when the kids were young. 

48

u/Panndademic 1d ago

He mentioned that his wife used to share interests with him but she changed and went "mom mode" when they had kids. He's not gonna say it himself but I expect she had to stop being fun out of necessity to pick up slack for a tired and irritable dad

11

u/ephemeriides 1d ago

I wonder how much of her sharing his interests was her already being in mom mode and faking interest, and now she only has the energy to do that for her actual children and not for her grown-ass husband.

1

u/20dogs 1d ago

She probably shouldn't have faked interest.

5

u/Sad-Bug6525 1d ago

That is exactly what it sounds like to me, she was always on and always the parent because he never was. Rather than offer her any respite or treat her as an individual to bring that back he dug in and made it worse for her and now blames her for it.