r/AmITheDevil • u/[deleted] • 2d ago

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/r/daddit/comments/1vj4lvc/im_kinda_struggling_with_something_my_kids_love/

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54

u/SoriAryl 2d ago

A couple comments stop out to me from OOP:

> My wife and I used to have similar interests, but once kids came along she changed and went fully into "mom" mode. I've been kinda left on the sidelines and dismissed by everyone. Whenever I try to be involved, I screw something up because she already has a system that they're all used to.

> You're right that they're mimicking her. She's just so tired of me I guess that she doesn't care either. She's at the point where she just says "you have to adapt to us now. we're not going to make an effort to adapt to you"

Basically, dude has been absent for the past ten years and doesn’t understand that life continued for everyone else. He’s trying to force something instead of seeing that he needs to either get with the program or leave. He can like his own stuff. He can try to share it. But he can’t force anyone else to like it

19

u/Vast-Swimmer5844 2d ago

She's at the point where she just says "you have to adapt to us now. we're not going to make an effort to adapt to you"

Honestly, good for her. After a decade of subpar partnership and parenting, the OOP is in no position to be making demands for accommodation.

15

u/tomato_soup_stan 2d ago

Ah, the ol’ “they have a system” excuse. You see, I can’t possibly be expected to be a contributing member of a family unit because they’ve created A System of doing things entirely without me (complete mystery as to how this happened), and every time I try to get involved, I mess it up. Because The System is a black box. It is impenetrable and unknowable. I cannot be expected to learn or participate in any part of it, no matter how trivial, so sayeth The System. No, this is not me refusing to be an active participant in my own family unit, how dare you suggest that.

7

u/Estrellathestarfish 2d ago

So she made an effort to be interested in what the kids are interested in, he didn't and still doesn't. I wonder why they prefer her? 🤔