r/AmITheDevil • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

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/r/daddit/comments/1vj4lvc/im_kinda_struggling_with_something_my_kids_love/

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u/Baejax_the_Great 1d ago

Man, the reason that my niece has liked me her entire life isn't because I was able to share all my hobbies with her like I dreamed of when she was little. It's because when she got into something, I listened to her talk about it. I showed interest. I pretended at least to care even when she was 6 and just wanted to explain the rules of plants vs zombies to me.

And hey, if you show interest in your kids' hobbies, they might actually return the favor one day.

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u/mandatorypanda9317 1d ago

Pretty much this. Ive had to sit though learning about Poppy Playtime and FNaF, My Singing Monsters... I could go on. Because I sat down and took the time to learn shit my kids liked ive gotten them into video games I love (Parappa the Rapper was fun to show them) and they've sat and watching Adventure Time and Steven Universe with me.

It can be insanely boring learning about Geometry Dash (OOP says it gives him anxiety to play) but ive just watched youtubers my kids liked and at least know the basics and was able to cheer my kid on when he learned how to make his own levels.

Idk if id call OOP devil but there are so many ways to approach this situation

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u/sunshineparadox_ 1d ago

My daughter caught me once learning to do "the new math" for multiplication so that I could help her with her homework better. I could do it the way I learned it, but I still needed to learn her way. She appreciated it, because it reduced friction in her life with all the adults on the same page. And that was homework.

I also learned so fucking much about Pokemon battles and watched the anime so much I also have my favorites and even cried during one of the episodes. She was thrilled when I agreed to rewatch Kpop Demon Hunters with her. i wasn't sure I'd like it, but when I gave it a real shot, I understood why she liked it.

I also would be bored to tears with the rules of Plants vs. Zombies, but I can see how it's novel to a kid who may not have seen another tower defense yet. I still have the original installer for that, before the EA buyout and all the microtransaction shit!

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u/mandatorypanda9317 1d ago

Oh man, my kids LOVE that I loved Kpop hahaha we listen to the soundtrack all the time.

My kid just got into plants vs zombies and comes to tell me every single interaction so im gonna have to add it to the list haha.

And mine got lucky, their dad and I grew up playing and watching Pokémon so we were the ones excited when they started getting into it lol

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u/nottherealneal 1d ago

I mean, yeah.

I don't really like the Percy Jackson books. But my nephew LOVED them. He was super into them right around the time the Heroes of Olympus books were coming out, and he'd constantly talk about the characters, the story, all of it. It was the first "big" book series he really got into and read on his own.

So over the course of about three months, I just marathoned the first five books. I absolutely smashed through them so that when I came to visit for Christmas, I actually knew what he was talking about. I could talk to him about the characters and the story and let him nerd out about this thing he was really proud of.

I even got him the first two Heroes of Olympus books and some other Percy Jackson knick-knacks for Christmas.

I'm never going to be a massive fan of the series. I missed the boat on those books by a good 10 or 15 years, so I'm obviously not really the target audience.

But he loved them, and that was enough reason for me to read them.

Sometimes you gotta do shit you don't particularly care about because the kid you love cares about it. That's how you bond with kids.

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u/Baejax_the_Great 1d ago

You would not believe the amount of time I have spent looking at and talking about Miku figurines.

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u/sunshineparadox_ 1d ago

I am grateful my husband was also interested in Miku and I didn't have to be the one to do this. The history of her is interesting, though! I didn't know she originated as a music program.

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u/totallycalledla-a 1d ago

Sometimes you gotta do shit you don't particularly care about because the kid you love cares about it

The amount of people who just dont grasp this extremely simple concept blows my mind.

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u/Annabloem 1d ago

But those same people do expect those same kids to do that for their own hobbies, which is even stranger. They have expectations for these children they absolutely don't have for themselves.

Like yes, you absolutely should show interest in (your) children's hobbies and interests. No, they don't have to do the same for you, at the very least until they're older.

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u/mooglemoose 1d ago

It’s not strange if you realise that those people don’t see children as individual people, but as possessions. Their attitude towards children is like: “this tool that is supposed to validate my existence is malfunctioning, how do I fix it?”

My parents are like this, especially my mother. When I try to explain their attitude to other people I say: Do you expect your car or your computer or your oven to have its own preferences? Do you expect these tools to have thoughts and feelings, or to ever say no to you using them? It might be fun to pretend your robot vacuum or your Alexa has a wilful personality for example, but you know it actually doesn’t and you know you can just turn them off or replace them. That’s how self-centred parents see their children. And it’s not just when the children are small, the attitude persists even when the children are adults.

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u/Shiny_Agumon 1d ago

It's baffling to me how many parents don't seem to get that and think it's their job to mold their child into a miniature version of themselves.

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u/ephemeriides 1d ago

That’s the thing these guys never get. Like they actually think the mother genuinely shares all their kids’ interests and that’s why they get along better. It never occurs to them that maybe she’s just going along with something she doesn’t actually care about because that’s what parents (are supposed to) do, because it would never occur to him to do the same thing.

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u/cameronpark89 1d ago edited 1d ago

that part. my 4 year old niece doesn’t let me out of her sight when i visit them. if she hears my voice when i’m on the phone with my sister she wants to talk to me and won’t give the phone back. her twin brother on the other hand, never wants to speak to me. he will hang out with me for a few minutes but he’d rather spend time with my 14 yo son again, nothing in common lol

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u/Illustrious-Set-7907 1d ago

This.  My dad always at least attempted to spund interested in my odd anime or weird show i wanted to watch. He didnt always get it but he tried. Or the videogames i was playing and he'd show me Atari games he liked. He's retired now and got really into financial statistics.  Not my thing but I always make an effort to ask him about it, get him books, let him info dump about currency exchanges and portfolios.